Being that friend who’s a challenge to hang out with can be tough to recognize. It’s often about the little things, those pesky behaviors we might not even be aware of, that can push people away.

I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be that way. It’s possible to avoid being “that” friend by nixing certain habits from your behavior.

In this article, I’ll share with you 8 behaviors you should definitely say goodbye to if you want to be an awesome friend, rather than the one people find difficult to be around. And trust me, it’s easier than you might think.

1) Constant negativity

One of the easiest ways to become that friend people struggle to be around is by being a constant source of negativity.

We all have those moments when life gets us down. It’s perfectly fine to vent, to share your struggles and seek support from your friends. That’s what friends are for, right?

However, if every conversation is about your problems, if you’re always the one complaining, always the cynic, it can become exhausting for those around you.

People naturally gravitate towards positivity. They seek out those who uplift them, not bring them down. So if you’re finding that friends are avoiding you, it might be time to check your outlook.

Try to find the silver linings, share more of your joys and victories, and not just your woes. Remember, being positive doesn’t mean you have to be fake or ignore your problems. It just means focusing more on the good in life.

Cutting back on constant negativity is a surefire way to avoid being that difficult friend. And trust me, you’ll feel better too!

2) One-upping stories

We all love a good story, and sharing experiences is one of the ways we connect with others. But there’s a fine line between sharing and one-upping.

One-upping is when you constantly try to top someone else’s story or experience. It’s like turning every conversation into a competition. And let me tell you, it’s not fun for anyone involved.

I remember this one time, I had a friend who constantly turned every conversation into a competition. If I mentioned a great book I’d read, she had read a better one. If I talked about a vacation I’d been on, she’d been to an even more exotic location. It was exhausting and honestly, made me feel like my experiences were being devalued.

Nobody likes to feel like they’re in constant competition with their friends. It’s not what friendship is about.

So if you find yourself always trying to top your friends’ stories, it might be time to check this behavior. Listen more, compete less. It’ll make your conversations more enjoyable and less of a battlefield.

3) Not respecting boundaries

Respecting boundaries is a fundamental part of any relationship, including friendship. Boundaries help to define what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t.

Ignoring or constantly pushing against someone’s boundaries can make them feel uncomfortable and disrespected. It can be anything from insisting on hanging out when your friend clearly needs some alone time, to sharing their personal information without their consent.

So, if you want to be the friend who’s easy to be around, start by respecting others’ boundaries. It not only shows that you care about their feelings but it also strengthens the bond of friendship.

4) Constantly seeking attention

We all appreciate a little attention now and then, it’s only human. However, constantly seeking attention can be exhausting for those around you.

If you’re always the one dominating conversations, or making every situation about you, it can make your friends feel unheard and unappreciated.

Friendship is about give and take. It’s about listening as much as talking, understanding as much as being understood.

So next time you’re with your friends, make a conscious effort to share the spotlight. Ask about their day, their experiences, their feelings.

Remember, a good friend is a good listener. And who knows? You might find that listening can be just as rewarding as being heard.

5) Unreliability

There’s a certain comfort in reliability. Knowing that you can count on a friend to be there when they say they will, to follow through on promises, it’s a core part of trust in any relationship.

However, if you’re the friend who’s always canceling last minute, or forgetting promises, it can be really disheartening for those around you.

Let’s face it, we all mess up sometimes. Life happens. But if it’s a recurring pattern, it might be time to take a step back and evaluate why that is.

Being reliable doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. It just means showing up when you say you will and being someone your friends can count on.

It’s about respecting your friends’ time and feelings. And in the end, it’s one of the most heartfelt ways to show them how much you value their friendship.

6) Always being on your phone

In this digital age, it’s easy to get sucked into our screens. But when we’re with friends, it’s important to be present and engaged.

There was a time when I’d unconsciously reach for my phone during lulls in conversation or even while someone was talking. I didn’t even realize I was doing it until a friend pointed it out. It was a wake-up call. I was physically there, but mentally, I was miles away, scrolling through social media or responding to emails.

I realized that by doing so, I was sending a message that my phone was more important than the person in front of me. That’s not the kind of friend I wanted to be.

So now, when I’m with friends, I make it a point to put my phone away. It’s not always easy, especially when that notification ping goes off, but it makes a world of difference.

Being present shows your friends that you value their company and the time you spend together. And honestly? It’s way more fun than any social media feed.

7) Regularly interrupting

We’ve all been in conversations where we’re eager to share our thoughts and jump in before the other person is finished speaking. But regular interruption can come across as rude or disrespectful.

Interrupting someone’s speech, especially on a frequent basis, can make them feel unheard or belittled. It can make your friends feel like their opinions and feelings don’t matter to you.

The good news is that this habit can be changed. It starts with being aware of it and making a conscious effort to listen more.

Next time you’re in a conversation, try to hold back those immediate responses. Let your friends finish their thoughts before you jump in.

Not only will this make your friends feel more valued, but it might also surprise you what you can learn when you truly listen.

8) Lack of empathy

Empathy is at the heart of every strong friendship. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, to put yourself in their shoes.

Without empathy, it’s hard to form deep and meaningful connections. It’s hard to be there for your friends in the way they need you to be.

So if you want to be a friend who’s easy to be around, strive to cultivate empathy. Try to understand where your friends are coming from, how they might be feeling.

It’s not always easy, and it doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything they say or do. But simply understanding and acknowledging their feelings can make all the difference.

Because at the end of the day, we all want to feel seen, heard, and understood. And that’s what true friendship is all about.