If you display these 7 behaviors, you’re slowly isolating yourself from others (according to psychology)

Mia Zhang by Mia Zhang | December 8, 2024, 8:38 am

You know, we all have that innate desire to belong, to feel connected. It’s part of being human.

Yet, somehow, despite this need for social bonds, some of us seem to be pushing people away without even realizing it.

Sound familiar?

Well, let’s dig a bit deeper.

Psychologists have identified certain behaviors that can inadvertently isolate us from others. If you recognize some of these actions in your own life, don’t worry. The first step toward change is awareness.

So, ready to do a little self-reflection? Let’s dive into these seven behaviors that could be slowly driving people away from you.

1) You’re constantly critical

Ever heard the saying “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”?

Well, there’s some truth to that.

Being overly critical can create distance between you and others.

While constructive criticism can often be helpful, there’s a fine line between offering advice and being harsh. When we’re constantly critical, it can come off as though we’re looking down on others or dismissing their ideas.

And let’s face it, nobody enjoys being around someone who makes them feel small or insignificant.

Being mindful of how we deliver feedback is a key step toward building stronger, healthier relationships.

So next time you’re about to offer a piece of your mind, pause for a moment. Consider how your words might be received and whether there’s a gentler way to express your thoughts.

2) You’re a conversation hogger

Okay, confession time.

I used to be guilty of this one. I remember once, at a family gathering, my cousin gently pulled me aside and mentioned that I wasn’t giving others a chance to speak.

I was shocked! I had no idea that my enthusiasm to share my thoughts was coming off as dominating the conversation.

Here’s the thing.

When we monopolize the conversation, it can make others feel unheard or unimportant.

Communication is a two-way street, and it’s essential to remember to pause, listen, and let others share their stories too.

Since that day, I’ve made a conscious effort to balance my input with my listening skills. Trust me, it can make a huge difference in how people perceive you and in strengthening your relationships.

3) You’re always on your phone

I’m going to put it out there, no sugar-coating.

We live in a digital age, and yes, our phones are a crucial part of our lives.

But there’s a time and place for everything. And constantly being glued to your screen, especially when you’re with others, well, it’s just plain rude.

Imagine this – you’re at a cafe with a friend who hasn’t stopped scrolling through their Instagram feed since you sat down.

Frustrating, right?

It sends a clear message: “My phone is more interesting than you.”

It might not be intentional, and you might be the most caring person on the planet. But if you’re always on your phone when you’re with others, it can make them feel like they’re not worth your time or attention.

So, the next time you’re catching up with a friend or sitting down for a family dinner, try putting your phone away.

Be present in the moment. It can go a long way in making your relationships stronger and more meaningful.

4) You don’t show empathy

Empathy is like a bridge. It helps us connect with others on a deeper level, understanding their feelings and perspectives.

It’s not always about agreeing with them but acknowledging their emotions and showing that we care.

But here’s the kicker.

When we fail to show empathy, it can make others feel dismissed or undervalued.

It’s as if we’re saying, “Your feelings don’t matter to me.” And let’s be honest, who wants to maintain a relationship where their emotions are constantly disregarded?

Becoming more empathetic isn’t an overnight process, but it’s totally worth the effort.

The next time someone shares their feelings or experiences with you, instead of jumping to conclusions or advice, try just listening. Validate their feelings, even if you don’t fully understand them.

Remember, empathy is about connection, and connection is what relationships are all about.

5) You’re not dependable

We all know someone who’s always late or doesn’t follow through on their promises. It might not seem like a big deal, but dependability is actually one of the key traits people look for in their friends and partners.

Research even suggests that reliability can significantly impact our relationships. When we’re dependable, others learn to trust us and rely on us, strengthening the bond we share with them.

On the contrary, if we’re constantly canceling plans, showing up late, or failing to keep our word, it sends a message that we don’t value the other person’s time or trust.

So, if you want to stop isolating yourself from others, start by honoring your commitments. Be someone others can count on, and you’ll notice a significant improvement in your relationships.

6) You don’t celebrate others’ successes

Picture this – you’ve just accomplished something you’re really proud of, and the first person you share the news with responds with indifference or, worse, jealousy.

It’s disheartening, isn’t it?

Celebrating others’ successes is a simple yet powerful way to show that you care. It’s about:

  • Sharing in their happiness
  • Acknowledging their hard work
  • Cheering them on in their journey

When we fail to do this, it can make people feel unappreciated or even competitive. And that’s certainly not the foundation for a strong relationship.

So next time a friend shares their good news with you, take a moment to genuinely congratulate them and share their joy. This small act of kindness can go a long way in strengthening your bond and making them feel valued.

7) You’re not open to new ideas

Flexibility is the lifeblood of any healthy relationship. It means being open to new ideas, different perspectives, and change.

But when we’re rigid in our thinking and unwilling to consider other viewpoints, we can come off as dismissive or even arrogant.

Remember, it’s perfectly okay to have your own opinions and beliefs. But acknowledging that others may see things differently isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of respect, understanding, and maturity.

The next time you find yourself in a discussion or debate, instead of clinging to your viewpoint, try to understand where the other person is coming from.

This openness can foster deeper connections and prevent you from isolating yourself from others.

The takeaway

If you see yourself in these behaviors, don’t be too hard on yourself. We’re all humans and we all make mistakes. The important thing is that you’re now aware, and awareness is the first step to change.

The fact is, none of us are born with a manual on how to interact with others. It’s a learning process.

Start by observing your actions, attitudes, and responses. Notice when you’re being overly critical, hogging conversations, or showing a lack of empathy.

Recognize if you’re too glued to your phone or if you’re not celebrating others’ successes. And remember, it’s okay to be open to new ideas.

The goal here isn’t to completely transform who you are. It’s about fine-tuning your behaviors to build stronger connections with those around you.

Because at the end of the day, our relationships with others are what truly enrich our lives.