Ever catch yourself demanding something from your partner that might be, well, a bit too much?

You’re not alone, but it’s time for a reality check.

We all have desires and needs in a partnership, but there are certain expectations that can create an imbalance, making it challenging for your partner to meet them.

These unrealistic demands might be causing friction and dissatisfaction, leaving you wondering if your expectations are reasonable.

This article will dive into 8 things that, if you’re demanding them from your partner, might just mean your expectations are soaring a little too high. Because let’s be real – no one’s perfect, not even your other half.

1) Perfection

Let’s start with a big one, perfection.

Demanding perfection from your partner is a slippery slope. Defining a perfect relationship can be as elusive as capturing a unicorn.

Why?

Because perfection is subjective and varies from person to person. What you consider perfect, your partner might see as flawed and vice versa.

And here’s the kicker, no one is flawless.

If you’re expecting your partner to be perfect, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. It’s not fair to them, and it’s not fair to you.

Instead, appreciate the imperfections. They make your partner unique and human. A successful relationship is about acceptance and compromise, not striving for an unattainable ideal.

2) Complete agreement

This might seem a bit counterintuitive, but wanting your partner to agree with you all the time? Yeah, that’s a bit too much.

I know, it feels good when someone agrees with you and validates your opinions. But in a relationship, it’s not always about winning or being right.

If you’re demanding constant agreement from your partner, it means you’re not leaving room for their thoughts, opinions, or feelings. You’re essentially saying that your voice matters more.

But here’s the thing: a healthy relationship thrives on differences. Different opinions spark conversations, debates, and growth. They expose us to new perspectives and ideas.

So instead of seeking constant agreement, encourage open discussion.

Listen to what your partner has to say, even if it differs from your viewpoint. This could lead to better understanding and mutual respect.

3) Total independence

Now, this is a tricky one. There’s a fine line between being independent and being too independent in a relationship.

Most people think that being completely independent means they’re strong or self-reliant. But in a relationship, it could also mean you’re creating an emotional distance with your partner.

Demanding total independence from your partner, expecting them to function entirely without your support or companionship, can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnect.

That’s not to say you should cling to your partner 24/7.

Maintaining a healthy balance between dependence and independence is key. It’s something I discuss in-depth in my book, ‘Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship‘.

Being independent is good, but remember, it’s okay to lean on your partner sometimes. After all, you’re a team. You’re in this together.

4) Constant happiness

Here’s another common trap: expecting your partner to keep you happy all the time.

The truth is, happiness is a personal journey.

If you’re relying on your partner for constant happiness, not only are you setting unrealistic expectations for them, but you’re also putting an unfair burden on yourself.

I remember when I used to think that my partner was solely responsible for my happiness. It was a hard lesson to learn, but it made me realize that true contentment comes from within.

So instead of demanding happiness from your partner, focus on finding your own joy.

Share it with them, sure. But don’t rely on them to be your only source of happiness. It’s unfair and unsustainable.

5) Mind reading

Oh, if only our partners could read our minds, right? No more miscommunications, no more misunderstandings.

Sounds like a dream.

But let’s snap back to reality. No one, not even your partner, can read your mind.

I used to get frustrated when my partner didn’t understand my unspoken expectations. It took me some time to realize that it wasn’t fair to them or to me.

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. If you want something from your partner or if something is bothering you, speak up.

Expecting your partner to always know what you’re thinking or feeling is unrealistic. More importantly, it’s a breeding ground for resentment and confusion.

Ditch the mind-reading expectations and embrace open communication instead. Your relationship will thank you for it.

6) Unwavering support

We all want our partners to support us. However, expecting them to stand by you unwaveringly in every decision, even when you’re wrong, is pushing it.

An important part of love is being able to constructively criticize and help each other grow. 

There was a time when I wanted my partner to agree with every decision I made. But then, I realized that a real partner will call you out when you’re wrong and help you make better decisions.

Remember, a little disagreement or criticism can be healthy. It shows that your partner cares for your well-being and growth.

For more of my insights on love and relationships, don’t forget to follow me on Facebook. You’ll get all my latest articles right there in your feed.

7) Flawless past

This is a raw one, but it needs to be said: expecting your partner to have a flawless past is unrealistic and unfair.

Everyone has a past, filled with good memories, bad ones, mistakes, and lessons learned. It’s what shapes us into who we are today.

If you’re demanding a spotless past from your partner, you’re implying that they aren’t allowed to have made mistakes or learned from them. And that’s not right.

Honestly, the most beautiful people I’ve met in life are the ones who’ve been through trials and tribulations and come out stronger.

Accept your partner’s past as part of their story. It’s their journey that has led them to you. Let’s celebrate that instead of wishing it away.

Final thoughts

It’s not about finding a perfect partner, but about finding someone who complements you, accepts you for who you are, and is ready to grow with you.

And here’s the thing – while it’s essential to have expectations from your partner, it’s equally vital to keep them realistic. We’re all human, after all, trying to figure things out as we go along.

There’s this video by Justin Brown that I think you should watch. It’s about giving up the idea of the perfect partner and recognizing that relationships are about commitment, embracing challenges, and growing together.

It beautifully encapsulates many of the things we’ve discussed in this article.