If you can’t remember the last time you felt truly happy, say goodbye to these 9 habits

Lucas Graham by Lucas Graham | September 5, 2024, 1:17 pm

Happiness — a simple word, yet something many of us struggle to consistently find. It’s more than just having a good day or a fleeting sense of joy.

It’s about feeling content, fulfilled, and truly at peace with yourself and your life.

Now, if you’re scratching your head, trying to remember the last time you truly felt that way, it’s time for some reflection.

Perhaps there are certain habits standing in the way of your happiness.

These habits might feel comfortable or familiar, but they could be the very things preventing you from experiencing genuine joy.

In this article, I’m going to shine a light on these happiness-blocking habits, helping you to say goodbye to them once and for all.

1) You’re constantly chasing perfection

In the pursuit of happiness, perfection can often appear as an enticing goal.

However, here’s the truth: Perfection is a mirage. It’s an unattainable standard that can keep us perpetually unsatisfied.

If you find yourself always striving for more — the perfect job, the perfect body, the perfect relationship — and still feeling unhappy, it might be time to reassess.

This constant chase for perfection could be one of those habits standing in your way of feeling truly happy.

Let’s dig deeper into this.

Perfectionism can lead to a persistent sense of failure, as no achievement seems good enough. It can increase stress levels and even lead to anxiety or depression.

Understandably, it’s hard to feel happy under these circumstances.

Recognizing this habit and working towards letting go of unrealistic expectations can open the door to a more content and fulfilling life.

2) You’re a prisoner of comparison

Ever heard of the ‘comparison trap‘?

It’s a psychological concept that refers to the tendency to compare ourselves to others.

In a world dominated by social media, falling into this trap has become easier than ever before. 

We’re constantly bombarded with highlight reels of other people’s lives, leading us to feel inadequate or dissatisfied with our own.

And guess what?

This can significantly hamper our happiness.

When we compare ourselves to others, we often focus on what we lack instead of appreciating what we have. This cycle of comparison and discontent can rob us of joy and prevent us from recognizing our own worth and achievements.

Breaking free from this habit can pave the way towards a happier, more fulfilled you.

3) You’re neglecting self-compassion

While the habit of comparing ourselves to others can be detrimental to our happiness, the lack of self-compassion can be just as harmful.

In fact, these two habits often go hand in hand.

When we constantly compare ourselves, we tend to be overly critical of our perceived shortcomings. This can spiral into a habit of self-criticism, which is at odds with self-compassion.

Self-compassion involves being kind to ourselves, acknowledging our flaws without judgment, and understanding that everyone makes mistakes. It’s about treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding we would offer a friend.

Ironically, while many of us are quick to show compassion to others, we often forget to extend the same courtesy to ourselves.

If you’re finding it hard to remember the last time you felt truly happy, you might want to examine how you treat yourself.

Developing a habit of self-compassion could be a critical step towards finding your way back to happiness.

4) You’re stuck in the past or future

Living in the past can lead to feelings of regret, guilt, or sadness, while constantly worrying about the future can cause anxiety and stress. Neither of these states are conducive to happiness.

The key is to live in the present.

This isn’t about ignoring the past or not planning for the future. It’s about not allowing these things to consume your present moment.

Mindfulness is a technique that can help with this. It involves focusing on the present moment without judgment. It’s about appreciating where you are right now and accepting it without trying to change it.

If living in the past or future is a habit for you, consider practicing mindfulness. It could be your ticket to a happier, more contented life.

5) You’re neglecting your needs

Sometimes, the road to happiness is blocked by the simple neglect of our own needs.

You may be so focused on meeting the expectations of others that you forget to take care of yourself. This can lead to burnout, stress, and a deep sense of unhappiness.

Here’s a quick self-check. Are you:

  • Skipping meals or not eating healthily because you’re too busy?
  • Forgoing sleep to meet work deadlines or family obligations?
  • Ignoring your emotional needs because you’re worried about what others might think?

If you answered yes to any of these, then this might be a habit you need to say goodbye to.

6) You’re avoiding discomfort

I think we can all agree that stepping out of our comfort zone can be, well, uncomfortable.

It’s human nature to seek comfort. We like routines, predictability, and things that feel safe and familiar. But avoiding discomfort at all costs can actually hinder our happiness.

Why? Because growth happens outside our comfort zones.

When we avoid discomfort, we limit our experiences, our learning, and ultimately, our potential for joy. Trying new things, facing our fears, and taking risks can lead to unexpected rewards and a deeper sense of fulfillment.

Let’s consider this: maybe the last time you felt truly happy was when you did something that initially scared you or made you uncomfortable.

So, if you’ve been playing it safe and avoiding discomfort, it might be time to reconsider. Stepping into the unknown could be just what you need to reignite your happiness.

7) You’re holding on to grudges

Imagine this: You’re carrying a heavy backpack up a steep hill. With every step, the weight pulls you down, making the climb more difficult.

This is what holding onto grudges can feel like.

Like that heavy backpack, grudges add an unnecessary burden to our lives. They keep us stuck in the past, preventing us from moving forward and finding happiness.

Now, ask yourself this: Are there any grudges you’re holding onto? Any unresolved conflicts or old resentments that are weighing you down?

If you find that there are, it might be time to work on letting go.

Remember, forgiveness isn’t about the other person — it’s about freeing yourself from the burden of resentment and making room for happiness in your life.

8) You’re not nurturing your relationships

In my experience, relationships are one of the greatest sources of happiness in life.

I remember a time when I was swamped with work, barely managing to keep my head above water. My relationships took a backseat as I focused on meeting deadlines and achieving my career goals.

Over time, however, I noticed a growing sense of dissatisfaction and loneliness seeping into my life.

It wasn’t until I made an effort to reconnect with my loved ones that I realized what had been missing: the joy and fulfillment that comes from nurturing our relationships.

In our busy lives, it’s easy to neglect our relationships. We might think that our loved ones will always be there, but like any other aspect of life, relationships need time and attention to thrive.

If you’re not feeling as happy as you’d like to be, take a moment to consider your relationships. Are you giving them the time and attention they deserve? 

If not, it might be time to reevaluate and make a conscious effort to nurture these essential connections in your life.

9) You’re not living in alignment with your values

This is the final, and possibly the most important, habit to say goodbye to if you want to reclaim your happiness.

When we live in a way that contradicts our core values, it creates internal conflict and dissatisfaction. You might be successful by societal standards, but if your life doesn’t reflect what truly matters to you, happiness can remain elusive.

Being true to yourself and your values isn’t always easy. It requires introspection, honesty, and sometimes making tough decisions. But the reward — a life that feels authentic and fulfilling — is worth the effort.

So ask yourself: Are you living a life that’s true to your values? If not, saying goodbye to this habit could be the key to unlocking your happiness.

So, where do you go from here?

It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it? Saying goodbye to habits that are standing in the way of your happiness is no small task.

But remember, it’s a journey. And every journey begins with a single step.

As you embark on this journey towards greater happiness, consider the following:

    • Start small: Choose one habit to focus on first. Trying to change everything at once can be overwhelming.
    • Be patient: Changing habits takes time. Don’t expect instant results.
    • Stay positive: Celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Every step forward is a victory.

I hope this article has given you some insights and the courage to say goodbye to habits that are no longer serving you.

It’s time to make room for habits that nurture happiness and fulfillment.

In the end, isn’t that what we all strive for?