Sometimes, joy can feel like a distant memory. You know that feeling of pure happiness? It’s there, somewhere, but it’s just out of reach.

This might be because certain behaviors are holding you back from feeling truly happy.

Letting go of these behaviors can be a game changer. It’s like turning on a light in a room that’s been dark for too long.

Now, I’m about to share nine behaviors that might be stealing your joy.

Saying goodbye to these could be exactly what you need to rediscover happiness.

Let’s get started. 

1) Overthinking

One of the biggest joy thieves is overthinking.

We’ve all been there. The mind spirals into a vortex of what-ifs, and before you know it, you’ve constructed an entire negative narrative around a single, often insignificant event.

The problem is that overthinking keeps us stuck in our heads, disconnected from the world around us. It prevents us from living in the moment and savoring the simple joys that life has to offer.

It’s like a dark cloud that obscures the sun of joy.

If you find yourself often lost in thought or worry, it might be time to say goodbye to this habit.

There are plenty of helpful techniques out there, from mindfulness to cognitive behavioral therapy, that can help you break the cycle of overthinking.

It’s not about avoiding thoughts entirely – it’s about learning not to get swept away by them.

2) Comparing Yourself to Others

I’ll admit it, I’ve been guilty of this one myself.

There was a time when I constantly measured my life against the successes of others. My friend got a promotion? Suddenly, my own job didn’t seem good enough. My neighbor went on a lavish vacation? Suddenly, my weekend hikes didn’t seem exciting anymore.

The problem with this behavior is that it traps us in a never-ending cycle of dissatisfaction. There’s always someone who seems to be doing better, living more exciting lives, or achieving more.

This constant comparison robbed me of my joy. It made me overlook the good in my own life.

One day, I decided to stop. Instead of comparing myself to others, I started focusing on my own journey – my own growth and happiness.

And let me tell you, it made a world of difference. I started appreciating what I had and celebrating my personal victories – big or small.

If you’re constantly comparing yourself to others, it might be time to let go of this behavior. Trust me, it’s liberating and could very well be the key to finding your joy again.

3) Neglecting Self-Care

Neglecting self-care is a common trap many of us fall into, especially when life gets busy. We tend to prioritize everything and everyone else, often at the expense of our own well-being.

Did you know that according to a study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, individuals who engage in regular self-care activities have lower stress levels and better mental health?

This includes simple activities like taking a walk, enjoying a hot bath, or even spending some quiet time alone.

When you neglect self-care, you’re essentially telling yourself that your needs aren’t important. This can lead to feelings of resentment, stress, and ultimately, a lack of joy.

Start prioritizing your needs. Make time for regular self-care, even if it’s just for a few minutes each day. It could make a huge difference to your overall sense of joy.

4) Holding onto Grudges

Holding onto grudges is like carrying a heavy backpack – it weighs you down and prevents you from moving forward freely.

When we hold onto resentment, it’s often the case that we’re the ones who suffer the most. The person who wronged us may not even be aware of our feelings, and yet, we’re the ones losing sleep and joy over it.

Letting go of grudges doesn’t mean forgetting what happened or allowing someone to hurt you again. It simply means releasing the resentment that’s stealing your peace and joy.

Forgiveness can be a powerful tool for reclaiming happiness. It might not be easy, but it’s definitely worth the effort. After all, you deserve to live a life free from the burden of past hurts.

5) Living in the Past or Future

It’s easy to get caught up in the nostalgia of the past or the anxieties of the future. But doing so often robs us of the joy in the present moment.

While it’s natural to occasionally reminisce about good times or worry about what’s to come, constantly living in the past or future can lead to feelings of regret, anxiety, and dissatisfaction.

The key is to practice being in the present. This means fully engaging with what you’re doing, who you’re with, and where you are at any given moment.

When we truly live in the now, we open ourselves up to experience joy in its purest form.

Take a deep breath, look around, and immerse yourself in the beauty of the present moment. It could be your ticket back to joy.

6) Ignoring Your Passions

There’s something magical about doing what you love. It’s like a spark that lights up your soul and fills your life with joy.

Sadly, many of us ignore our passions. We get caught up in the busyness of life, in the pursuit of practicality, and somewhere along the way, we forget what makes our hearts sing.

Maybe you love to paint, but haven’t picked up a brush in years. Or perhaps music is your passion, but your guitar is gathering dust in the corner.

Ignoring these passions can leave a void in your life, a void that joy used to fill.

Life is too short for unfulfilled dreams and forgotten passions. So dust off that guitar, pick up that brush, or do whatever it is that brings you joy.

It’s never too late to embrace your passions and reignite the joy within you.

7) Fear of Making Mistakes

I’ve always been a bit of a perfectionist. I used to agonize over every decision, terrified of making a mistake. It felt like I was walking on eggshells in my own life, always cautious, always careful.

But here’s what I learned: mistakes are an inevitable part of life. They’re how we grow and learn. And sometimes, they lead us to paths we would have never discovered otherwise.

Living in constant fear of making mistakes is like living with a joy dampener. It stifles spontaneity, creativity, and adventure.

So take that chance. Make that leap. And even if you fall, remember that it’s okay to make mistakes. In fact, it’s more than okay – it’s necessary.

Because a life lived in fear is a life half-lived. And you deserve to live fully, joyfully, and unapologetically.

8) Chasing Perfection

Perfection is an illusion. It’s a mirage that keeps you running in circles, always striving but never arriving.

When we chase perfection, we set ourselves up for disappointment. Because no matter how hard we try, there’s always something more to achieve, something else to improve.

This relentless pursuit can leave us feeling drained, frustrated, and devoid of joy.

Instead of chasing perfection, aim for progress. Celebrate your growth, your efforts, and your small victories.

Life isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real, being you, and finding joy in your own unique journey. Let go of the illusion of perfection, and you might just find that joy has been waiting for you all along.

9) Neglecting Relationships

We are social creatures by nature. Our relationships with others feed our souls, lift our spirits, and bring joy to our lives.

When we neglect our relationships – be it with family, friends, or partners – we risk losing a vital source of happiness.

It’s important to make time for those we care about. To laugh together, share experiences, and support each other through life’s ups and downs.

Joy is often found in the connections we share with others. So cherish your relationships. They’re worth more than you might think.

Final Thoughts: Happiness is an Inside Job

The journey towards joy often starts within us.

An interesting study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that individuals who practiced self-compassion – treating themselves with kindness, recognizing their common humanity, and maintaining a balanced awareness of their emotions – tended to experience higher levels of happiness.

What this illustrates is that the key to joy might very well lie within ourselves, in how we treat ourselves and how we navigate our thoughts and emotions.

The behaviors we’ve discussed – overthinking, comparison, neglecting self-care, holding onto grudges, living in the past or future, ignoring passions, fearing mistakes, chasing perfection, and neglecting relationships – these all reside within us. And it’s within our power to let them go.

Happiness is not a destination, but a continuous journey. And sometimes, it’s about unlearning as much as it’s about learning. It’s about letting go of the habits that no longer serve us and cultivating those that bring us closer to our joy.

As you reflect on these words and your own journey towards joy, remember this: you hold the key. You always have.