There’s a huge difference between just existing in a relationship and truly thriving in it.

This difference often boils down to habits. Unhealthy habits can turn a vibrant, exciting relationship into a dull, monotonous one without you even realizing it.

But here’s the good news – if you recognize these habits, you can choose to let them go and reignite the spark in your relationship. And smart people know that identifying and breaking these habits is the first step towards a better relationship.

In this article, let’s dive into the 7 habits you need to say goodbye to if you can’t remember the last time you felt truly excited in your relationship. 

Let’s get started. 

1) Constantly comparing your relationship

There’s a certain trap that many of us fall into in relationships. It’s the comparison trap.

Whether it’s comparing your partner to someone else, or comparing your relationship to others’, it breeds dissatisfaction and discontentment.

Here’s the thing – every relationship is unique. What works for one couple may not work for another. And what seems perfect from the outside may not be so perfect behind closed doors.

Comparison is a natural human tendency, and can sometimes even be useful. But in relationships, more often than not, it does more harm than good.

So if you want to bring back the excitement in your relationship, the first habit to kick is this constant comparison. It’s about time you start appreciating your relationship for what it is, rather than what it’s not.

And remember, it’s essential to be truthful with yourself and your partner while trying to drop this habit. Honesty is key here, as with any attempt to improve a relationship.

2) Taking your partner for granted

I remember when I was in the early stages of my relationship with my significant other. Every single thing they did, no matter how small, felt special. I would appreciate every gesture and every moment we shared together.

But as years passed, I found myself taking these things for granted. The morning coffee they made for me, the way they tried to make me laugh when I was upset, even their constant support – I stopped acknowledging these things.

It took me a while to realize that my lack of appreciation was one of the main reasons why the excitement had faded from our relationship.

Once I started making a conscious effort to appreciate my partner’s efforts and express my gratitude, things began to change. The spark was reignited.

3) Neglecting personal growth

In relationships, people often get so entangled with their partner that they forget about their individual growth. They start to live more like a single entity rather than two individuals.

What’s interesting is a study conducted by the University of Toronto found that people in relationships where both partners maintained their individuality were more satisfied and experienced less conflict.

The reason being, when you continue growing as an individual, you not only bring new ideas and experiences into your relationship, but you also maintain a sense of self-identity which is essential for your personal happiness.

Don’t forget who you are outside of your relationship. Pursue your own interests, set personal goals, and invest time in your hobbies. This will not only help you grow as a person but also bring a breath of fresh air into your relationship.

4) Overlooking communication

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. It sounds cliché, but it’s a cliché for a reason: it’s true.

It’s easy to fall into a rhythm of routine conversations about daily chores or work. But when was the last time you had a meaningful, deep conversation with your partner? When did you last discuss your dreams, your fears, or your aspirations?

Lack of meaningful communication can often lead to misunderstandings and distance in relationships. You may be living under the same roof, but if you’re not truly communicating, you might as well be worlds apart.

Make a conscious effort to talk – not just about the mundane stuff, but about things that matter. It might feel awkward initially, especially if it’s been a while, but with time, it will get easier and can work wonders in reigniting the excitement in your relationship.

5) Forgetting to make time for each other

I’ve always been a workaholic, often prioritizing my professional commitments over my personal life. At one point, my relationship started to feel like a mere addition to my packed schedule rather than an integral part of my life.

We barely spent quality time together and when we did, I was either mentally preoccupied or too exhausted to enjoy it. It was only when my partner voiced their feelings of being neglected that I realized the extent of the problem.

Making time for your partner is not about squeezing in a hurried dinner between work calls. It’s about being present, both physically and mentally. It’s about showing your partner that they are a priority, not an afterthought.

I had to learn this the hard way. But once I started consciously making time for my partner, our relationship started to feel exciting again. We began rediscovering each other and the bond we shared grew stronger than ever.

6) Resisting change

Change is inevitable, in life and in relationships. Yet, many of us resist change, clinging onto the comfort of familiarity.

If you’re sticking to the same routines, the same conversations, and the same experiences in your relationship day in and day out, it’s no wonder the excitement has faded away.

Embracing change can bring a fresh perspective and breathe new life into your relationship. It could be something as simple as trying a new cuisine together or as significant as moving to a new city.

Growth and change often go hand in hand. When you embrace change, you allow your relationship to evolve and grow, bringing back the thrill and excitement.

7) Failing to resolve conflicts

Unresolved conflicts are like a ticking time bomb in any relationship. They create tension, breed resentment, and can suck all the excitement out of your bond.

It’s crucial to address issues and disagreements head-on, rather than sweeping them under the rug. It might be uncomfortable, but it’s essential for a healthy and exciting relationship.

It’s not about who wins the argument but how you can grow and learn from it as a couple. It’s about finding a solution that strengthens your bond rather than creating a rift. And most importantly, it’s about treating each other with respect and understanding, even when you disagree.