If you can’t control your desires, say goodbye to these 9 things

Graeme Richards by Graeme Richards | February 14, 2024, 10:06 am

There’s a fine line between enjoying life’s pleasures and being controlled by your desires.

When your desires hold the reins, you’re bound to lose sight of some important things in life. It’s almost like handing over your power to your whims and fancies.

True, we all have desires – it’s human nature. But when they start dictating our lives, it’s a slippery slope. There are certain things that you might have to bid adieu if you can’t keep your desires in check.

In this article titled “If you can’t control your desires, say goodbye to these 9 things”, I’m going to delve into what exactly you stand to lose. And trust me, it’s not a pretty sight.

1) Peace of mind

It’s no secret that when desires run rampant, inner peace often takes a backseat.

As desires start to rule, our minds become a battleground. The constant struggle to fulfill these desires leaves little room for tranquility. It’s like being caught in a never-ending loop of want and fulfillment.

Imagine this. You desire something, you achieve it, and for a moment there’s satisfaction. But soon enough, another desire crops up and the cycle continues. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?

And amidst all this chaos, peace of mind becomes a distant dream. The more we let our desires control us, the more elusive inner peace becomes.

So if you can’t reign in your desires, be prepared to say goodbye to your peace of mind. Because let’s face it, the two just don’t go hand in hand.

But remember, it’s not about eliminating desires completely – that’s impractical. It’s about striking a balance and not letting them dictate your life.

2) Healthy relationships

Let me share a personal experience with you.

A couple of years back, I was obsessed with my work. Yes, obsessed is the word. I desired success so much that I was willing to work day and night for it. And while there’s nothing wrong with being ambitious, my desire started to consume me.

Soon enough, I began to neglect my relationships. I’d bail on plans with friends, miss family gatherings and became a stranger to my own loved ones. My desire for success in my career had overpowered everything else in my life.

It took me a while to realize that I was letting my desires control me and not the other way round. And in the process, I was pushing away the people who mattered the most.

The point here is that when we let our desires run wild, we risk straining our relationships. Our loved ones might start feeling neglected or unimportant. And trust me, that’s a price too high to pay.

So if you can’t control your desires, you might just have to say goodbye to healthy relationships. Because at the end of the day, people matter more than desires.

3) Financial stability

When desires go unchecked, it can often lead to financial instability. It’s an all-too-common scenario – the desire to have the latest gadgets, the swankiest cars or the most fashionable clothes can easily drain your bank account.

The American Journal of Psychiatry published a study showing that approximately 5.8% of Americans have had a problem with compulsive shopping at some point in their life. This seemingly harmless desire to shop can spiral into a serious issue, leading to severe financial consequences.

And it’s not just about shopping. Any uncontrolled desire can lead to financial instability, be it gambling, investing in risky ventures or constantly dining out at high-end restaurants.

So if your desires aren’t in check, be prepared to compromise on your financial stability. After all, money doesn’t grow on trees and desires rarely come with a cost-free tag.

4) Personal growth

When we’re constantly chasing after our desires, we often forget to invest in our personal development. Our focus becomes so narrow, so fixated on achieving what we want, that we lose sight of the bigger picture.

Personal growth involves expanding our horizons, learning new skills, and improving ourselves. But when desires control us, we tend to put all our energy into attaining them, often overlooking opportunities for personal growth.

Think about it. If you’re constantly chasing after materialistic desires, when will you find the time to read that book you’ve been meaning to? Or take up that hobby you’ve always wanted to?

So if you’re unable to control your desires, you might end up stunting your personal growth. Because growth happens outside our comfort zones, not within the confines of our desires.

5) Self-esteem

Self-esteem is deeply connected to our desires. If we constantly fail to meet our desires or if they’re unrealistic to begin with, it can take a serious toll on our self-esteem.

Consider this scenario. You desire a promotion at work. You work hard for it, but for some reason, you don’t get it. This unfulfilled desire can lead to feelings of inadequacy and failure, chipping away at your self-esteem.

The more we let our desires dictate our self-worth, the more we tie our happiness and self-esteem to external factors. And let’s face it, that’s a dangerous game to play.

So if you can’t control your desires, be prepared to struggle with your self-esteem. Remember, your worth is not defined by your desires or their fulfillment. It’s defined by who you are as a person and the values you uphold.

6) Appreciation of simple joys

There’s a certain beauty in life’s simple pleasures – the aroma of freshly brewed coffee in the morning, a walk in the park on a sunny day, or a good book on a rainy afternoon.

However, when we’re consumed by our desires, we often overlook these simple joys. Our vision becomes clouded by what we want, and we forget to appreciate what we already have.

It’s like being on a constant treadmill of desire. We’re always running, always chasing, always wanting more. And in this race, the small moments of joy often slip through our fingers.

So if you can’t control your desires, you might end up missing out on life’s little pleasures. Because the key to true happiness often lies in appreciating the simple things in life, not in the grandeur of our desires.

7) Health and wellness

There was a time when I would often pull all-nighters to meet work deadlines. I desired to excel at my job so much that I completely neglected my health. I was constantly stressed, sleep-deprived, and surviving on junk food.

What I didn’t realize was that my unchecked desire for success was taking a toll on my health. I ended up with severe burnout and had to take a break from work to recover.

This is a classic example of how uncontrolled desires can impact our health and wellness. The constant stress and anxiety to fulfill our desires can lead to various health problems like insomnia, heart diseases, and even mental health issues.

So remember, if you can’t control your desires, your health and wellness could be at stake. Don’t let your desires rob you of your well-being. It’s not worth it.

8) Contentment

Contentment is all about being satisfied with what you have, where you are, and who you are. It’s a state of mind where you’re at peace with your life as it is, without constantly craving for more.

But when desires take control, contentment often takes a hit. We’re always striving for the next big thing, the next achievement, the next milestone. And in this constant pursuit, we forget to be content with our present.

It’s like being on a never-ending journey with no destination in sight. There’s always something more to desire, something more to achieve. And this can leave us feeling perpetually unsatisfied and restless.

So if you can’t control your desires, be prepared to sacrifice your contentment. Because true contentment comes from within, not from the fulfillment of our desires.

9) Control over your life

At the end of the day, the ability to control your desires is about maintaining control over your own life. Without this control, you’re at the mercy of your whims and fancies, which can lead you down a chaotic and unpredictable path.

Uncontrolled desires can steer your life in directions you might not have planned for or wanted. They can make decisions for you, dictate your actions and ultimately, shape your destiny.

So if you can’t control your desires, you might be saying goodbye to control over your own life. Remember, you are the master of your fate and the captain of your soul, not your desires.

Final thoughts: The power is in your hands

At its core, the struggle with unchecked desires is a human experience. We all have desires and aspirations, and they often drive us to achieve and strive for more. But when these desires start to control us, we risk losing more than we gain.

The Greek philosopher Epictetus once said, “Freedom is not procured by a full enjoyment of what is desired, but by controlling the desire.” This profound statement reminds us that the power to control our desires lies within us.

Controlling our desires doesn’t mean suppressing them or eliminating them entirely. It’s about managing them in a way that serves us positively, that contributes to our growth rather than hindering it.

So as we navigate through life with its myriad of desires, let’s remember to keep them in check. Let’s strive for balance and not let our desires dictate our lives. After all, we are not just creatures of desire, but beings capable of reason, choice, and control.

The power is in your hands.