If you can talk about these 8 topics, you’re with the right person

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | October 31, 2024, 10:19 am

Knowing if you’re with the right person can often feel like a guessing game. But, there’s a simple way to tell – conversation.

It’s all about the topics you can comfortably discuss together. Not just the easy ones, like favorite movies or where to go for dinner.

I’m talking about the deeper topics, the ones that reveal who we truly are and what we value. If you can talk about these eight subjects, you’re definitely with the right person.

Underneath is a guide to the eight conversations that signal you’ve found your perfect match.

1) Future plans

One of the most telling signs you’re with the right person is your ability to discuss your future plans together.

This doesn’t necessarily mean picking out a house or naming your future children. It’s more about being able to share your individual goals and ambitions, and seeing if they align with each other.

Can you both picture a shared future? Are you supportive of each other’s career and personal aspirations? Do your plans for the next five or ten years complement each other?

If you find yourselves naturally weaving each other into your future scenarios, that’s a good sign. It shows that you’re not just thinking about the present, but also how you can build a life together going forward.

Remember, it’s not about agreeing on every single detail. It’s about being open, supportive, and excited about each other’s future plans.

2) Money matters

It might not be the most romantic topic, but let’s face it, money plays a big role in our lives.

In my own relationship, I’ve found that being able to openly discuss finances is a game changer. For example, when my partner and I first moved in together, we had a frank conversation about splitting expenses. It was awkward at first, but it helped us avoid any future misunderstandings and resentment.

We’ve continued to maintain transparency when it comes to our individual financial situations, our joint expenses, and our savings goals. It’s not always easy, but these open discussions have made us feel like a real team, tackling life together.

If you can have these potentially uncomfortable conversations about money with your partner, then you’re likely with the right person. It shows trust, respect, and a shared commitment to navigate the future – no matter what it may bring.

3) Past experiences

Delving into your past experiences can be enlightening, not only for understanding each other better but also for gaining insight into how those experiences have shaped the person sitting across from you.

A study published in the Journal of Personal and Social Relationships found that couples who reminisce together about shared experiences tend to feel more satisfied with their relationships.

So, go ahead and dive into those stories about your crazy college days or that time you backpacked through Europe. Revisit your triumphs, your failures, and everything in between. It’s these shared narratives that deepen your connection and foster a sense of shared history.

4) Personal values

Your personal values are the guiding principles that shape your decisions and actions. They reflect what’s most important to you in life.

Being able to talk about your values with your partner – whether it’s your views on honesty, family, or social issues – is crucial in a relationship. It’s these in-depth conversations that help you understand one another on a deeper level.

If you can openly discuss your core values and find that you respect each other’s even when they differ, it’s a strong indicator that you’re with the right person. It signifies mutual respect and understanding, which are key ingredients in a lasting relationship.

5) Vulnerabilities

Opening up about your vulnerabilities can be daunting. It takes courage to peel back the layers and let someone see your fears, insecurities and the parts of yourself you consider imperfect.

However, being able to share these intimate details with someone is a testament to the strength of your relationship. It’s in these heartfelt moments that you truly connect on a profound level.

When you’re with the right person, they’ll listen without judgement, offer support, and love you not despite your vulnerabilities, but because of them. They’ll make you feel safe in being completely yourself, and that’s when you know you’ve found something truly special.

6) Dreams and aspirations

I remember when I first shared my dream of becoming a writer with my partner. It was a goal I’d kept to myself, mostly out of fear of being judged or dismissed.

Their response? Complete and unwavering support. They encouraged me to pursue my passion, even when it meant taking risks.

Being able to discuss your dreams and aspirations with your partner is a sign of a strong relationship. It means you’re not just partners, but cheerleaders for each other, supporting and encouraging one another to reach for the stars.

7) Fears and worries

Life inevitably comes with its fair share of worries and fears. Whether it’s anxiety about a job interview, concern for a family member’s health, or fear of failure, it’s important to have someone you can confide in.

If you’re able to have open conversations about your fears with your partner, and they listen, empathize, and offer comfort, then you’re likely with the right person. This level of emotional support is a crucial part of a strong, healthy relationship. It shows that you can rely on each other through thick and thin.

8) Love and respect

At the end of the day, the most important conversation to have with your partner is about love and respect.

These are the cornerstones of any successful relationship. Being able to express your love, to show and talk about respect, to communicate how much you value each other’s presence in your life is paramount.

If you can freely express these sentiments, and they are reciprocated, then there’s no doubt that you’re with the right person.

Final thoughts: It’s about connection

When it comes to relationships, it’s all about connection.

These eight topics serve as a litmus test, helping you gauge the depth and strength of your bond. If you can openly discuss them, it signifies a relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual understanding.

Remember the words of psychologist Carl Rogers: “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good.”

A relationship where you can truly be yourself, share your deepest thoughts and emotions, where you are heard and respected – that’s when you know you’re with the right person.

So reflect on your conversations. Are these topics part of your dialogue? If they are, consider yourself lucky. You’ve found something rare and beautiful – a genuine connection.