Emotional intelligence: such a buzzword these days, isn’t it? And for good reason.

This quality, this ability to understand and manage our own emotions as well as connect with and respond to the emotions of others, is crucial. It’s what defines our relationships, guides our decisions, and determines how we navigate the world.

Now, you’re probably wondering, “Am I emotionally intelligent?” Sure, we all like to believe we are. But are we really? That’s where this little quiz of mine comes into play.

If you find yourself nodding and saying ‘always’ to the following questions, then congratulations! You’re ahead of the curve, my friend. You’re more emotionally intelligent than the average person. Let’s delve into it, shall we?

1) “Am I in tune with my emotions?”

Let’s kick things off with the cornerstone of emotional intelligence: self-awareness.

Self-awareness is all about understanding your own emotions. It’s about knowing what makes you tick, what gets your goat, what brings you joy and what leaves you feeling flat. It’s about being in tune with your emotional state at any given moment.

Now, this might sound like a no-brainer, but trust me, it’s not as straightforward as it seems. You’d be surprised how many people go through life without really understanding their emotional landscape.

So, the first question to ask yourself is this: “Am I in tune with my emotions?” Do you always know when you’re feeling happy, sad, angry, or anxious? Are you able to identify these emotions in real-time and understand why they’re surfacing?

If your answer is ‘always’, then bravo! You’ve got one of the key aspects of emotional intelligence nailed down. But don’t stop there. There’s more to uncover. Let’s keep going, shall we?

2) “Am I comfortable with silence?”

Now here’s a tricky one. When it comes to emotional intelligence, it’s not always about expressing emotions or even understanding them. Sometimes, it’s about being comfortable with silence.

Now, you might be thinking, “Silence? What does that have to do with anything?” Believe it or not, a lot.

Silence allows us to process our emotions, to sit with them and really understand what we’re feeling. It gives us the space to reflect and respond thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively.

So the next question to ask yourself is this: “Am I comfortable with silence?” Can you sit quietly without feeling the need to fill the void with chatter or distraction? Do you value these moments of pause as opportunities for self-reflection and emotional processing?

If yes, that’s a big win for your emotional intelligence. You’re able to embrace silence as a tool for emotional understanding and growth. Quite a feat, I must say. 

3) “Do I practice empathy over judgment?”

Now, this is something I feel very strongly about, and it’s even a central theme in the book I authored, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

Emotionally intelligent people have a knack for empathy. They’re able to put themselves in someone else’s shoes and truly understand what that person is feeling. They don’t rush to judge or criticize; instead, they offer understanding and compassion.

So, here’s the next question: “Do I always practice empathy over judgment?” Do you make a conscious effort to understand others’ feelings instead of jumping to conclusions or making snap judgments?

When you know the power of empathy you can use it to foster stronger, more meaningful connections with those around you.

4) “Am I able to bounce back from setbacks?”

One thing I’ve learned along my own journey is that life is full of ups and downs. And while we can’t control what happens to us, we can control how we react to it.

Emotionally intelligent people possess a quality called emotional resilience. They understand that feelings are temporary and they have the ability to bounce back from adversity. They don’t let setbacks define them or keep them down.

As the great Maya Angelou once said, “You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.”

So now, ask yourself this: “Am I always able to bounce back from emotional setbacks?” Do you see challenges as opportunities for growth and learning rather than insurmountable obstacles?

Answering “always” to these questions shows that you are indeed emotionally resilient, a significant marker of high emotional intelligence.

5) “Do I communicate my feelings clearly and openly?”

Let me tell you something from personal experience, open communication is a game changer.

Emotionally intelligent people are not just good at understanding and managing their own emotions, they’re also skilled at expressing them. They don’t shy away from difficult conversations or hide their feelings. Instead, they communicate openly and honestly.

So, here’s your next question: “Do I always communicate my feelings clearly and openly?” Are you comfortable expressing your emotions in a constructive way, even when it’s difficult?

That’s another feather in your emotional intelligence cap. You understand the importance of open communication in maintaining healthy relationships and managing your own emotional well-being. 

6) “Do I live mindfully?”

Having practiced mindfulness for years now, I can attest to its profound impact on emotional intelligence.

Emotionally intelligent people live mindfully. They are present in the moment, aware of their feelings and thoughts, and consciously choose their reactions. They don’t let their emotions control them; instead, they control their emotions.

As the wise Buddha once said, “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”

So, let’s move on to the next question: “Do I live mindfully?” And more specifically, “Am I always mindful of my emotions?” Do you stay present and aware, consciously choosing your responses to various situations?

If your answer is ‘always’, then you’re truly living mindfully, a testament to high emotional intelligence.

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7) “Am I comfortable feeling discomfort?”

Here’s a hard truth: Emotional discomfort is a part of life. It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s something we all experience.

Emotionally intelligent people understand this. They know that it’s okay to feel uncomfortable emotions like fear, anger, or sadness. They don’t try to repress these feelings or pretend they’re not there. Instead, they acknowledge them, feel them fully, and then let them go.

So here’s something for you to ponder: “Am I comfortable feeling emotional discomfort?” Can you sit with your uncomfortable emotions without trying to push them away or cover them up?

Emotional intelligence gives us the understanding that all emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, have something to teach us. 

8) “Am I willing to grow and learn?”

Coming to the end of our journey, I want to leave you with something really important. Emotional intelligence is not a destination, it’s a journey. It’s not something you either have or don’t. It’s a set of skills that you can develop and refine throughout your life.

In fact, I believe we all have the capacity to be emotionally intelligent. We just need to tap into that potential. We need to be willing to look within, to ask ourselves these tough questions and be honest with our answers.

As the great Carl Jung once said, “Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

With that, reflect on this final question: “Am I always willing to grow and learn in my emotional journey?” Do you see every experience as an opportunity for emotional growth and understanding?

If your answer is ‘always’, then congratulations! You truly are more emotionally intelligent than the average person.

Wrapping up

Remember, this journey of emotional intelligence is something we’re all on together. And I’m here with you every step of the way.

To further explore the complexities of emotional intelligence and self-reflection, I highly recommend watching this insightful video by Justin Brown.

It dives into the heart of what it means to commit to being single not as a permanent state, but as a meaningful phase of growth, self-discovery, and personal commitment:

I believe this video can help us explore more deeply the key things we’ve been discussing in this article. So sit back, relax, and let’s continue this journey together.