Every parent hopes to be a role model their children can look up to—someone they admire, trust, and respect as they grow.

But sometimes, without realizing it, we may hold onto habits that distance us from that goal, potentially impacting the relationship we cherish most.

In this article, we’ll explore eight behaviors that can undermine the bond you’re building with your children.

Letting go of these habits can make room for a more respectful, trusting, and inspiring relationship.

1) Losing your cool

We’ve all been there.

One moment everything’s calm, the next your child does something that grinds your gears and bam! you lose your temper.

But here’s the thing – our kids are always watching and learning from us.

When we lose our cool, they learn that it’s okay to react to life’s challenges with anger and frustration.

And that’s not a lesson we want to pass on.

If you want your kids to respect you, learning to manage your emotions is key. It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely worthwhile.

2) Being dishonest

Growing up, my mom always used to say, “Honesty is the best policy.”

I never truly appreciated what she meant until I became a parent myself.

One day, my daughter asked me if Santa was real.

I didn’t want to ruin the magic of Christmas for her, so I said yes.

But as she grew older, she found out the truth on her own and was upset that I had lied to her.

That’s when I realized that even white lies can damage trust.

If you want your children to look up to you, honesty is crucial.

Even when the truth is hard or uncomfortable, it’s important to maintain that trust with your kids.

Nowadays, my daughter and I have a pact.

We promise to always tell each other the truth, no matter what.

It’s made our bond stronger than ever before.

3) Ignoring their interests

Did you know that children whose parents show interest in their hobbies and passions develop higher self-esteem?

It’s true!

When we ignore our kids’ interests, we inadvertently send the message that what they care about isn’t important.

And that can be really damaging for their self-esteem.

On the other hand, when we engage with them about their passions, whether it’s dinosaurs, ballet, or video games, we show them that we value what they value.

This simple act can make a world of difference in how your child sees you.

So next time your kid wants to tell you about their latest Minecraft creation or dance routine, take a moment to really listen. 

4) Not admitting when you’re wrong

No one’s perfect, and that includes parents.

We all make mistakes, and that’s okay.

What’s not okay is refusing to admit when we’re wrong.

Denying our mistakes not only teaches our kids it’s okay to lie, but it also sets an unrealistic standard of perfection.

On the other hand, owning up to our mistakes teaches our kids about responsibility and humility.

It shows them that it’s okay to make mistakes as long as we learn from them and strive to do better next time.

So next time you mess up, don’t be afraid to admit it.

Your kids will respect you more for it.

5) Neglecting self-care

I used to think that being a good parent meant always putting my kids first.

I’d neglect my own needs and wants, thinking that this was the best way to show my love for them.

But I was wrong.

Neglecting self-care taught my kids that it’s okay to disregard their own health and happiness for others.

It also left me burnt out and tired, not the best version of myself for my family.

I’ve since learned that taking time for myself isn’t selfish, it’s necessary.

By prioritizing self-care, I’m now able to be a healthier, happier parent for my kids.

And they’ve learned the importance of taking care of themselves too.

6) Overprotecting them

It’s natural to want to protect your kids from harm.

But believe it or not, being too protective towards our children can actually do more harm than good.

When we shelter our kids from every potential danger or failure, we prevent them from learning important life skills.

They miss out on valuable lessons about:

• Risk-taking
• Problem-solving
• Resilience

Instead of always rushing to their rescue, let them experience challenges and even failures.

It might be tough to watch, but it’s through these experiences that they’ll learn to navigate the world confidently and independently.

7) Criticizing more than praising

It’s easy to focus on what our kids are doing wrong.

After all, we want them to learn and improve.

But constant criticism can be harmful, discouraging, and can damage their self-esteem.

On the flip side, praise can be a powerful tool. It:

• Boosts their confidence
• Motivates them to try harder
• Reinforces good behavior

Finding a balance is key. For every point of criticism, try to find five points of praise.

You’ll create a more positive environment and your children will feel more encouraged to learn and grow.

8) Not spending quality time with them

In this busy world, it’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life.

But the most impactful thing you can do as a parent is to spend quality time with your kids.

It’s not about the quantity, but the quality of time spent.

Engaging in meaningful activities, having deep conversations, and simply being present in their lives can make all the difference.

This not only strengthens your bond, but it also shows them that they are valued, loved, and important.

And that’s something they’ll carry with them for the rest of their lives.

Reflections on parenting

Becoming a role model that your children genuinely look up to requires continuous self-awareness and a willingness to grow. 

So take a moment to reflect on these behaviors.

Which ones resonate with you? Which ones could you work on?

Letting go of behaviors that might undermine your relationship is a powerful step toward building lasting respect and trust.

Remember, the very fact that you’re reading this shows your intention to be the best parent you can be.

And that’s something truly commendable.

So keep growing, keep learning, keep loving.

Because in the eyes of your children, you’re their hero.

And that’s something truly special.