If you’re a fan of the actress Natalie Portman, you might be familiar with one of her career-defining performances: Black Swan.

In the 2010 Darren Aronofsky-directed film, she plays Nina, a talented ballerina.

In this intense psychological thriller, her whole journey revolves around a deep, almost pathological need for validation.

From who, you ask? Well, first up, there’s Thomas Leroy, the ballet company’s director.

He’s the tough mentor pushing her to tap into her darker side for her upcoming role in Swan Lake. Nina is practically begging for his approval and recognition.

Then there’s the dynamic between her and Lily, a fellow ballerina. 

Nina sees her as a threat, and that whole competitive vibe between them? It’s like Nina’s desperate to prove she’s the best, seeking validation from her peers.

Plus her relationship with her mom, Erica is very, very complex. 

You see, Erica was a dancer too, and she’s got these unrealized dreams that she projects onto her daughter. The pressure to meet her mom’s expectations is intense.

But it doesn’t quite end there. Nina’s internal struggle is wild. Her own pursuit of perfection becomes an unhealthy, never-ending cycle.

She puts so much pressure on herself to be flawless. Have you ever felt that kind of self-imposed pressure?

As the story unfolds, you can’t help but wonder, how far would some people go for validation? What’s the breaking point between passion and obsession?

If you’re wondering how to spot someone who is desperately craving validation, and whether you’re the person they expect it from, here are a few things they might say to you.

1) “I really don’t want to be a burden.”

When someone says, “I really don’t want to be a burden,” it’s like the verbal equivalent of extending a fragile, emotional olive branch.

They’re basically fishing for your precious words of validation and affirmation.

It’s a subtle plea for you to reassure them that, no, they are not a burden, and in fact, you’re delighted to have them around. 

The underlying desire for approval is as clear as day. So, the next time you hear this phrase, be sure to approach it with tact and kindness.

2) “Does the meal taste good?”

If you know someone who says to you, “Does the meal taste good?” they’re essentially inviting you to step into their personal kitchen arena, where every ingredient and cooking technique becomes a potential area of judgment.

There’s a deep underlying desire for your taste buds to show some approval, affirming that their time spent chopping, sautéing, and seasoning was all worth it in the end. 

Basically, it’s not really about the food itself—it’s about the validation of their skills, a validation that goes beyond the taste.

Do them a favor and make their day: tell them they’re a master chef.

3) “I cannot tell what you really think of me.”

Inside all of us, there’s a deep, deep desire that lurks beneath the surface. 

It’s the craving for approval and admiration.

Maybe you’ve experienced this for yourself, or you’ve had a friend or a significant other say to you: “I cannot tell what you really think of me.”

When it comes to human emotions, the need for clear opinions, devoid of ambiguity, is a universal thing. It’s human nature to seek reassurance, to unravel the mystery of how others view us. 

The vulnerability behind this statement reveals a person teetering on the edge of uncertainty, desperately wanting to make sense of their standing in your eyes.

Responding to such a phrase requires a lot of patience and empathy. 

You might choose to unravel the mystery with sincerity, offering a genuine reflection of thoughts and feelings. They are likely to thank you for it.

4) “Do you ever see me as more than a friend?”

Sometimes, people find themselves in this situation where they’re kind of hoping for something more than just being buddies.

So, imagine you’re having a chat, maybe over a cup of coffee or something, and then a friend drops the line: “Do you ever see me as more than a friend?” 

They’re not shouting it from the rooftops, but they’re throwing it out there: they want a chance to build a little extra closeness with you.

The words might seem simple, but underneath, there’s a whole mix of emotions—hope, a bit of nervousness, and a desperate need for you to approve of them.

How you respond is your own decision, but be sure to think carefully about your approach.

5) “Have you noticed my new clothes?”

You’re casually getting through the day, minding your own business, and suddenly, a friend or acquaintance hits you with, “Have you noticed my new clothes?” 

Now, it might sound like a simple inquiry about their latest fashion choices, but beneath the surface lies the longing for approval, the thirst for a compliment.

Plus they might very well be dressing up to steal your attention.

It’s as if they’ve carefully curated this moment to showcase their latest outfit, and your response holds the key to their self-esteem boost.

A well-timed compliment or a genuine acknowledgment can go a long way in validating their clothing choices and, perhaps, filling their cup of approval.

6) “I hope I haven’t disappointed you.”

If someone says, “I hope I haven’t disappointed you,” it’s an open admission of their concern for your opinion and approval.

This phrase reveals genuine worry about whether their actions or choices align with your expectations—it’s not just a casual remark but a sincere plea for reassurance and acceptance.

In essence, this sentence unveils a vulnerability, showcasing an underlying fear of falling short in your eyes. 

This expression is more common than you think. After all, we’re only human, and it’s normal to want to be held in positive regard.

7) “I often wonder if you’re proud of me.”

You’ve probably heard someone say, “I often wonder if you’re proud of me.” People wanting others to be proud of them is an extremely common thing. 

Childhood plays a big part in all of this approval stuff. How we felt about getting approval from adults when we were little always sticks with us. 

When someone talks like this, it’s like going back to those early days when a thumbs-up or a gold star felt like the best thing ever.

So in this sense, this phrase is more than just asking for a subtle nod of approval, it’s like expressing a deep need to feel seen by the people who’ve been important since the early days, like parents or teachers. 

It’s not just about getting compliments to flatter someone, it’s about wanting to share the good and bad times with those whose opinion means the most.

8) “I am so eager to hear your thoughts.”

It can be fascinating how the desire for approval and admiration can manifest in subtle and different ways, like the phrase “I am so eager to hear your thoughts.” 

This seemingly innocuous statement can carry a weight of anticipation, a craving for validation—as if the person is hanging on to every word in the hope of receiving your approval.

When it comes to social interactions, seeking validation is, after all, a super common thread. 

It’s a natural inclination to want others to acknowledge and appreciate our thoughts, ideas, and contributions. 

This desire stems from the fundamental human need for connection and belonging. 

We seek validation as a way to affirm our worth and place in our chosen community. 

When someone expresses eagerness to hear your thoughts, it’s quite a vulnerable admission because it shows they care about what you think, and your opinion holds significance in their eyes.

Replying to this phrase requires a delicate balance of empathy and honesty. 

Whatever you do, try to acknowledge the sincerity behind their words and appreciate the vulnerability it takes to express such a sentiment.

You might respond by expressing gratitude for their eagerness to hear your thoughts, ensuring your reply is genuine and thoughtful.

9) “Can I ask for your opinion on something?

Imagine someone coming up to you and saying, “Hey, can I get your take on something?” 

Now, why do you think they’re asking that? Is it just for info, or do they secretly want your approval?

They’re not just looking for your thoughts in general. Rather, they’re hoping you’ll say something positive about what they’re sharing.

The phrase, “Can I ask for your opinion on something?” is one specific phrase that shows that this particular person really is outwardly seeking your approval.

It’s a simple but revealing way of saying, “I value what you think, and I really hope you’ll like what I’m saying.” 

They might want to hear that you think what they’re saying is good or smart, and your response means a huge deal to them.

Final thoughts

To sum things up, we all seek approval, much like Natalie Portman’s character in the film Black Swan. 

It is perfectly human to do so—we just need to be sure our need for validation doesn’t take over our lives.

The subtle phrases including “I don’t want to be a burden” or “I hope I haven’t disappointed you,” expose the universal longing for recognition. 

Recognizing these signals invites empathy, kindness, and sincerity. Be sure to respond with care.