A healthy self-esteem is something all of us needs to have to succeed in life. You know, that inner feeling of worth and confidence.

But what if someone’s not feeling too good about themselves deep down?

Well, they might try to hide it behind certain words.

In this article, we’ll unravel some common phrases that could be a sign of someone compensating for their low self-esteem.

So, get comfy, and let’s dive right in!

1) “I’m just lucky”

Picture this:

You compliment someone on their success or achievement, and they respond with, “I’m just lucky.”

Now, this might seem like a humble response at first glance, but it could be a sign of low self-esteem.

Why?

Because by attributing their success to luck, they’re downplaying their own efforts and skills. They’re subtly suggesting that they didn’t earn their achievement but rather stumbled upon it by chance.

Of course, luck can play a part in success. But if someone consistently credits luck rather than their own hard work, they might be trying to mask feelings of insecurity or inadequacy.

2) “I’m not an expert”

We’ve all met that person who, despite being incredibly skilled or knowledgeable in a particular area, never fails to downplay their abilities.

“Oh, I’m not an expert,” they’ll say, even as they flawlessly execute a task or provide detailed insights on a complex topic.

Sound familiar?

This phrase is another potential red flag for low self-esteem. By constantly underselling their capabilities, people might be trying to shield themselves from criticism or high expectations.

It’s as if they’re saying, “Don’t expect too much from me, because I’ve already told you I’m not that good.”

3) “I’m sorry”

Some people seem to apologize for just about everything—even when it’s not their fault or entirely out of their control.

This is a classic sign of low self-esteem.

Let me share a personal example.

I had a friend who would constantly say, “I’m sorry.”

If someone bumped into her, she’d apologize.

If the weather ruined our plans, she’d apologize.

If she expressed an opinion that was slightly different from someone else’s, she’d apologize.

At first, I thought it was just a quirky habit. But as our friendship deepened, I realized that these constant apologies were her way of trying to lessen conflict and avoid potential rejection.

She was so worried about upsetting anyone that she’d apologize even when she hadn’t done anything wrong.

In this case, “I’m sorry” became a shield against criticism and a way for her to manage her low self-esteem.

4) “I knew I would mess up”

“I knew I would mess up,” might seem like a casual, self-deprecating joke, but it can sometimes indicate low self-esteem.

Why?

Because people with low self-esteem often expect failure. They believe they’re not good enough, so they predict and even mentally prepare for their own mistakes.

It’s a way of protecting themselves from disappointment or criticism, because if they’ve already labeled themselves as a failure, then others’ negative comments can’t hurt them as much.

Now, here’s what’s interesting:

People who expect to fail are more likely to do so. It’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we predict we’ll fail, we often unconsciously behave in ways that make it happen.

5) “I can’t accept this compliment”

Imagine this:

You give a heartfelt compliment to a friend about their stunning outfit or their brilliant presentation. Instead of a simple ‘thank you’, they blush, look away and mumble, “Oh no, I can’t accept this compliment.”

Doesn’t that break your heart just a little?

You’ve taken the time to appreciate something about them, and they brush it aside as if it’s not worth acknowledging.

This reluctance to accept compliments often stems from low self-esteem.

They have a hard time believing they’re worthy of praise. They might think you’re just being nice or that you don’t really mean it.

To them, accepting the compliment feels like agreeing with something they don’t believe is true.

6) “It’s all my fault”

Let me tell you a story about a time when I worked on a group project at university.

We were a team of four, and one of our members had this habit of taking the blame for everything that went wrong.

If we missed a deadline, even if he had completed his part on time, he would say, “It’s all my fault.”

If our presentation didn’t go as smoothly as we’d hoped, he was always the first to shoulder the blame.

At first, it seemed like he was just being overly responsible.

But over time, I understood it was more than that. He struggled with low self-esteem and felt it was easier to accept blame than to challenge it.

This tendency to internalize failure and assume responsibility for things beyond their control is common among people with low self-esteem. They often believe they’re at fault, even when it’s clear they’re not.

7) “Why would anyone care about what I think?”

Ouch.

Hearing someone say, “Why would anyone care about what I think?” can hit you like a punch in the gut.

It’s raw. It’s real. And it hurts.

This phrase screams low self-esteem. It’s a clear sign that the person doesn’t value their own opinions or ideas.

They’re convinced that their thoughts don’t matter and that others won’t care about what they have to say.

What’s even more heartbreaking is that this kind of self-depreciation often comes from a history of being ignored, dismissed, or belittled.

They’ve internalized those experiences to the point where they automatically assume they’re unimportant.

When you hear someone utter these painful words, remember that they might be struggling with feelings of worthlessness.

They need reassurance that their thoughts and feelings are valuable and that they’re worth listening to.

So show them respect, give them space to express themselves, and remind them that their voice matters.

8) “I don’t deserve this”

Sometimes, people say, “I don’t deserve this” when they receive a gift, an award, or even a simple act of kindness.

While it might seem like humility, this phrase could also hint at low self-esteem.

People with low self-esteem often struggle to believe they’re worthy of good things. When something positive happens, they may feel uneasy or guilty, as if they’re getting something they shouldn’t have.

Psychologists call this phenomenon the “imposter syndrome.”

It’s a psychological pattern where people doubt their accomplishments and fear being exposed as a “fraud.” They feel they don’t deserve their success and worry others will find out.

9) “I’m a burden”

I remember when a close relative of mine used to say, “I don’t want to be a burden.” She would hesitate to ask for help or share her problems, worried that she was imposing on others.

She was always there for everyone else, always ready to lend a hand or an ear, but she found it incredibly difficult to lean on others when she was in need. She felt that her problems were hers alone to bear and that sharing them would only trouble others.

This belief that one is a ‘burden’ can be a telltale sign of low self-esteem. It often comes from a place of feeling unworthy or believing that one’s needs are less important than others.

10) “I’m not important”

When someone tells you, “I’m not important,” it feels like a punch to the gut. It’s a raw admission that they don’t see their own worth.

This phrase is a glaring sign of low self-esteem.

They’re convinced that they don’t matter, that they’re insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

This is not just a casual comment.

It’s a cry for help, a sign that they need support and reassurance of their value.

11) “I’m always messing things up”

“I’m always messing things up” is another statement that screams low self-esteem.

It suggests that the person sees themselves as a constant failure, incapable of success. They’ve convinced themselves that they’re doomed to mess up, again and again.

It’s a self-destructive mindset that can be incredibly hard to break free from. When you hear someone say this, know that they’re struggling deeply with their self-worth.

12) “No one would miss me if I was gone”

This is perhaps one of the most painful phrases you could hear from someone: “No one would miss me if I was gone.”

It’s an open wound of low self-esteem and self-worth.

If you hear someone say this, know that they’re in pain and likely feeling incredibly isolated. They need support, reassurance, and possibly professional help.

Final thoughts

Remember, these phrases are cries for help disguised as casual comments or jokes. Recognizing them for what they are can help us better understand and support those struggling with low self-esteem.