Manipulation is a crafty art that many people master without even realizing it.

The difference between manipulation and influence is all about transparency and respect.

When someone manipulates you, they’re trying to control your decisions with hidden motives.

However, when they influence you, they’re suggesting a better alternative while leaving the final decision up to you.

But let’s get real – we’re not talking about influence here. This piece is all about those sly phrases that manipulators use to get what they want.

As the founder of the Love Connection blog and having spent years studying relationship dynamics, I’ve come across my share of smooth operators.

Now, I want to share this knowledge with you. I’ve compiled a list of phrases that are dead giveaways when dealing with a master manipulator.

Buckle up, because if you hear these phrases in your conversations, you just might be dealing with someone who’s got manipulation down to a fine art.

1) “Trust me”

Manipulation is often a game of trust – or, more accurately, a game of exploiting trust.

Master manipulators know how to use the power of their words to create a sense of trust that isn’t necessarily earned.

One of the most common phrases they use to achieve this is “Trust me…”.

We often associate this phrase with honesty and reliability, so when someone uses it, our instinct is usually to believe them.

After all, why would they ask us to trust them if they weren’t trustworthy?

But here’s the catch: manipulators use this phrase not because they’re trustworthy, but because they want you to think they are.

It’s a way of bypassing your rational mind and appealing directly to your emotions.

So next time you hear the phrase “Trust me…”, be sure to take a step back and assess whether that trust is truly warranted.

Remember, true trust is earned through actions, not just words.

If their actions don’t align with their words, you might be dealing with a master manipulator.

2) “I don’t want anything from you”

This might sound strange. After all, isn’t the whole point of manipulation to get something from someone else?

Well, that’s exactly why this phrase is so effective.

It’s counterintuitive, and it goes against what we expect from a manipulator.

When someone says “I don’t want anything from you…”, it can put us at ease.

We let our guard down because we think there’s no hidden agenda, no ulterior motive.

But here’s the twist: this phrase is often a manipulative tactic in itself.

By claiming they don’t want anything, the manipulator creates a sense of obligation in you.

You start to feel like you owe them something because they’re not asking for anything in return.

It’s a subtle form of manipulation, but it’s incredibly effective.

So the next time someone tells you they don’t want anything from you, take a moment to consider whether there’s more to their story than meets the eye.

3) “You’re overreacting”

This is a phrase that I’ve heard far too often in my years of studying relationships.

It’s a phrase that can be incredibly damaging, and it’s a surefire sign of manipulation.

When someone tells you that you’re overreacting, they’re essentially delegitimizing your feelings.

They’re telling you that your reaction is wrong, and that you should be feeling something else.

This is a classic technique used by manipulators to gain control over a situation.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I talk about how important it is to trust your own feelings and reactions.

No one else has the right to tell you how you should be feeling.

So if someone tells you that you’re overreacting, take a step back and evaluate the situation for yourself.

Trust your instincts. If you feel like something is off, it probably is.

Remember, your feelings are valid, and no one has the right to tell you otherwise.

4) “You’re just like me”

Ever heard someone say this to you? It may seem flattering at first, but be wary.

This phrase is a classic tool in the manipulator’s toolbox.

When someone tells you “You’re just like me…”, they’re often trying to create a false sense of kinship.

They want you to feel connected to them, to see them as an ally, as someone who understands you.

This can make it easier for them to manipulate your thoughts and actions.

I’ve seen it happen countless times in the relationships I’ve studied over the years.

The manipulator uses this phrase to draw the other person in, to make them feel special and understood.

But in reality, it’s all a ploy to gain control.

As the great Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

Don’t let a manipulator convince you that you’re just like them in order to manipulate your actions.

Trust your instincts and stand firm in your own identity.

5) “I’m only trying to help”

This phrase is a tricky one, because it’s often used by people with good intentions.

But in the hands of a manipulator, it can be a powerful tool for control.

When someone says “I’m only trying to help…”, they’re usually trying to justify their actions, even if those actions are overstepping boundaries or infringing on your personal space.

They make it seem like they have your best interests at heart, when in reality, they’re just trying to get their own way.

I’ve encountered this phrase many times in my work, and it never fails to send up red flags.

Yes, there are people out there who genuinely want to help.

But there are also people who use this phrase as a way to disguise their attempts at manipulation.

So the next time you hear “I’m only trying to help…”, take a moment to consider whether the person is truly helping, or if they’re just trying to control the situation.

Trust your gut – it usually knows what’s best.

6) “It’s for your own good”

This phrase is one that I’ve heard far too often in my line of work.

It’s a phrase that manipulators use to justify their actions, even when those actions are not in your best interest.

When someone tells you “It’s for your own good…”, they’re essentially saying that they know better than you do what’s best for you.

This can be a subtle way of undermining your confidence and controlling your decisions.

As Eleanor Roosevelt wisely said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Don’t let someone else tell you what’s best for you. You know yourself better than anyone else does.

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I regularly share my latest articles and thoughts on relationships and communication. Trust me, you don’t want to miss out!

7) “I would never lie to you”

This phrase is one of the most blatant red flags in a manipulator’s playbook.

When someone feels the need to constantly reassure you that they would never lie to you, it’s worth questioning why they feel this affirmation is necessary.

Trust, after all, is built through consistent honesty over time, not just promised in words.

In my years of experience studying relationships, I’ve learned that honesty is not something that needs to be declared.

It’s demonstrated through actions.

So when someone repeatedly insists they would never lie to you, it might be time to examine their actions and see if they align with their promises.

It’s a raw and unpleasant truth.

But recognizing these manipulative tactics can empower us to make informed decisions in our relationships.

As they say, knowledge is power.

The final word

Manipulation is a complex and intricate dance, often so subtle that we might not even realize we’re being led until it’s too late.

It’s a phenomenon deeply ingrained in our social interactions, making it all the more important to be aware of the telltale signs.

Recognizing the phrases manipulators commonly use is a good first step.

But understanding manipulation doesn’t stop here.

It requires constant vigilance, self-awareness, and an open mind.

Remember, the power to navigate your relationships lies with you.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Trust in your instincts and stand firm in your identity.

In the journey of understanding manipulation, I believe this video by Justin Brown can shed additional light.

It provides valuable insights into new age self-help trends that may unknowingly propagate manipulative practices.

Navigating the world of manipulation isn’t easy, but with every step we take to educate ourselves and others, we are pushing back against its influence.

Stay strong, stay informed, and remember – knowledge is your greatest weapon.