Ah, wisdom and maturity.

It’s all every one of us aspires to achieve. It’s what is expected of us as we grow older.

Because, as they say, the older you get, the wiser you become, right?

Well, not quite.

Some people only grow older without growing wiser or more mature.

They still tend to speak in a way that hurts other people’s feelings, often carelessly sputtering words that are far from wise or mature.

Sometimes, you might even say these phrases yourself without realizing the impact they create on other people’s feelings.

But don’t worry—we can help you change that.

If you want to avoid using these phrases, read more below as we discuss the 6 phrases that show that someone lacks wisdom and maturity.

Let’s dive in!

1) “Whatever”

“Whatever” is the conversational equivalent of a dismissive hand wave.

It’s pretty self-explanatory.

It’s usually thrown out when someone doesn’t want to have a discussion or when they’re simply not interested hearing you out.

Plus, anyone who says “whatever” with an air of contempt or the slightest bit of annoyance is immature and unwise.

Because who, above the age of 15, says this phrase in serious conversations—especially adult ones?

In my experience, it’s a go-to phrase for individuals who are either too lazy or too impatient to put in the effort to communicate effectively.

Don’t get me wrong, the word itself is not bad. For example, when you say, “I’ll enjoy whatever kind of food you decide to cook,” it’s not automatically bad.

What makes it sound immature is when it’s used as a response, especially to a question or a request.

It’s like an enraged teenager being asked to come home before midnight who then responds with, “Whatever, Mom!”

See? If you sound like teenage angst, I’m sure it doesn’t need much explaining for you to realize “whatever” sounds immature—and definitely far from wise.

2) “It’s not my fault”

Every single one of us makes mistakes. It’s okay—it’s what makes us human.

But it’s definitely not okay when we try to escape accountability from them—like when we blame it on circumstance or other people.

I once worked with someone who seemed to have this phrase on repeat. Every time something went wrong, he was quick to point fingers at everyone but himself.

Whether it was a missed deadline or a botched presentation, it was always someone else’s fault.

His constant refusal to accept responsibility didn’t just make him look bad, it also created a toxic work environment. Instead of cleaning up his mess or learning from mistakes, we were often stuck in a cycle of blame and defense.

So don’t play the blame game.

It doesn’t make you look good. It doesn’t make you perfect and all-knowing. It only makes everyone hate you.

What truly makes you look good is when you accept accountability and show that you’ve learned from your mistakes by making an effort to avoid repeating them.

3) “Sorry, no can do!”

It’s okay to admit you don’t know or can’t do something—but only when it’s honest, not when it’s used to make others do it for you.

This is something called “weaponized incompetence”—a psychological tactic manipulators use to make you believe they can’t do the things you want them to do so you do it for them.

It’s your dad saying he’s bad at looking after the kids so your mom or older sister always do it for him. It’s your lazy co-worker always feigning an inability to do the simplest tasks so your other co-workers do them instead.

Sure, there are situations where it’s perfectly reasonable to admit our limitations. But more often than not, it’s used as an easy way out of even the simplest situations or tasks.

Because more often than not, that thing people say they “can’t” do is a basic skill everybody needs to learn.

At some point, you have to step up, or no one else will do it for you.

4) “You always…” or “You never…”

Phrases like “You always do this” or “You never listen to me” are not just overly dramatic, but they’re also incredibly inaccurate.

Why?

Because when you say this, you’re only escalating the conflict instead of resolving them. You’re keeping count of the things they did wrong without acknowledging the ones they did right—and who wouldn’t feel hurt by that?

Being mature and wise means you understand the importance of balanced and fair communication. That’s why you should avoid absolute terms because they can distort reality and fuel unnecessary conflict.

So don’t keep count of another person’s list of rights and wrongs when you’re fighting. It won’t solve anything—it will just deepen the rift between the two of you until you eventually have a falling out.

5) “That’s just who I am”

At some point in life, every one of us thought it’s cool to “be yourself,” to “never change you who are” because that means you care about what others think, which is so lame.

But that’s something you should’ve grown out of if you’re well into adulthood, because to some degree, it’s okay to want to be liked—healthy, even.

It means you’re willing to change to be a better person, not just using “that’s just who I am” as an excuse to avoid reaching a compromise with other people or to avoid making an effort to grow as a person.

We all need to understand that we’re all works in progress. We have the capacity to change, evolve, and grow, but only if we choose to.

6) “I don’t care”

When people say they don’t care, they’re either lying, immature, or both.

Because when you say you don’t care, regardless of your intention, you’re showing indifference to others’ feelings, thoughts, or experiences.

And while it looks hip to not care, it’s not. It’s okay to give a crap. That’s how we learn to love and grow as people.

Don’t ever think you care about the wrong things. There’s no such thing as loving or caring the “wrong” way.

Express that love the way you want—nothing’s more mature or wiser than showing you care about something or someone even when the rest of the world thinks you’re a fool.

Final thoughts

Ideally, as we grow older, we should also be growing wiser and more mature. But as we’ve discussed, this doesn’t always happen.

But it’s never too late.

If you think you’ve been living life wrong, like you haven’t been learning from your mistakes, it’s not the end of the world!

In fact, you should be proud of yourself—the mere act of recognizing your mistakes in life is already a show of courage.

You just need to be even just as brave enough to take the next step—to live life differently and improve as a person.

After all, we are all works in progress. And every chapter, every road we take, and every mistake we make all present an opportunity for growth.