It’s a fact of life that we simply can’t get along with everyone no matter how hard we try.

And that’s okay. 

Sometimes people just don’t vibe with each other…and that’s okay.

That’s why it’s a good idea to figure out if someone doesn’t like you sooner rather than later. At the very least you get to set your expectations and not waste any of your time.

And you can do that by paying attention to the words they say.

In this article, I’ll share 12 phrases that could mean someone doesn’t like you very much.

1) “Err…I dunno.”

There’s nothing wrong with “I dunno” or “I haven’t got a clue” all by themselves.

But if you ask them about something that they OBVIOUSLY know about and they respond by denying it, then something’s up.

At best, they’re trying to avoid talking about something painful to them and they just want you to leave them be.

But if they’re always evasive—especially with small things that shouldn’t even be an issue like “Do you like Korean movies?” then they most likely dislike you.

2) “Uhhh…if you say so.”

Another big sign that someone doesn’t like you is when they won’t engage with you when you disagree with them on something. 

You can try explaining your point in great detail, but your words might as well have fallen on deaf ears.

They don’t say anything except “if you say so” or “I guess.”

It’s frustrating.

And it’s a sign that they have some deep resentment towards you. 

It may be justified, it might be not—either way, when someone starts acting this way towards you, it’s best that you keep your distance.

Trust me, you’d be doing yourself a favor.

3) “It must be nice.”

They just can’t help but be a downer, especially around you.

You would be talking excitedly about something you were proud of, and they’d cut in by saying stuff like “geez, it must be nice…” or “wow, lucky you.”

They’ll make it seem like they’re just playfully jealous, but there’s something about the way they say it that makes you feel like they genuinely do feel jealous about your successes.

They probably think you don’t deserve the good things you’re getting…and that’s probably why they don’t like you very much.

4) “Aren’t you supposed to be working?”

You want to chat with them, but three minutes barely even pass before they check their watch and go “Aren’t you supposed to be working?”

Or perhaps you tried striking a conversation with them at the bar and they say “Isn’t your girlfriend waiting for you at home?”

When people say things like these, they only rarely mean what they said. 

Most of the time they’re trying to make you leave.

Someone who likes being around you isn’t going to be in a hurry to see you off or remind you of your obligations so you’d go away. They’d talk and want you to stick around longer.

5) “I totally disagree.”

Now it’s fine to disagree with each other.

I argue a lot with my friends, but we love each other anyway.

The problem is that sometimes people argue not to settle a disagreement or to find a compromise. They start arguments so that they can “put you in your place.”

I have an example. I had a friend who I got along with until he suddenly started arguing with me over the smallest things.

I would try talking about some book or song I enjoyed, and he’d always say “I don’t like that” or “I disagree” and then tell me about why the thing I liked is quite bad, actually.

If you have a friend who acts like this—someone who takes every opportunity they have to “disagree” and argue with you, they probably don’t like you that much.

6) “You’re really passionate about this, aren’t you?”

You have things you’re passionate about—like your art, politics, and your career—and you’re happy to talk about them.

And they acknowledge your passion!

But you can tell that their tone isn’t supportive or happy at all. If anything, they feel a bit insincere and sarcastic.

People like this are probably just jealous of your enthusiasm. They think you’re “too much” and you’re “too ambitious” and it annoys the hell outta them.

But it’s not your problem. They’re the ones who need to ask themselves why your joy makes them feel that way, and why they feel compelled to be negative towards you.

7) “I didn’t ask you.”

Let’s say that you’re having a group discussion with your friends. But when you comment on something they shared, they’d say something like “I didn’t ask you, did I?”

Even more insulting is that they’re all ears when literally anyone else speaks up!

Make no mistake—this isn’t a game of “wait for your turn.” They just don’t want to hear your opinions for one reason or another.

I’m not going to say that it’s never justified. Sometimes it is. But regardless of whether it’s valid or not, you should take it as a cue that you should probably just back out and leave them be.

Trust me that you don’t want to live with a “friend” who acts like this towards you.

8) “Incredible!”

Sh*t happens. It’s just part of life. 

Sometimes you can screw up even if you don’t want to!

Maybe you forgot to bring wine to the party or that you had to tell them that you almost got run over.

But instead of finding a solution or consoling you for your near-death experience, they instead throw their arms in the air and hit you with a sarcastic “incredible!”

Those who react this way are either a*holes or people who are sick and tired with you.

There’s no point in finding out which is which, honestly, because you’re best off avoiding people who act like this anyways.

9) “Oh, mine is better” or “Oh, mine is worse.”

It doesn’t matter whether you’re talking about your achievements or your suffering—they somehow always take the opportunity to try and one-up you.

Did you drop out of college? Guess what—they dropped out of high school!

Did you manage to get a raise? Well, congrats but they got a promotion!

People who like this tend to have issues with everyone around them. They see life as a competition, and they absolutely refuse to be the one to “lose.”

So they don’t like you… or anyone else, for that matter. You’re better off avoiding them until they get themselves together.

10) “Well, at least you have…”

Let’s say you had a bad day. Someone screwed up at work so you had to try fixing their mistake while still doing your own job on top of that.

But when you complain about it, they react by saying “well, at least you have a job.”

Now we are all desperate for a job if we want to live, and there are many people out there who would kill for one.

But someone who cares about you will also understand that it can be incredibly stressful sometimes and offer their sympathy.

It might seem like they’re saying “well, look at the bright side!” but what they’re actually doing is disregard your feelings.

11) “I don’t care.”

Tell them about something you genuinely care about, and they hit you back with “I don’t care.”

Don’t assume that it’s as simple as them not caring about what you were trying to talk about.

If that was all there was to it, they’d have heard you out and perhaps find a way to tell you that they can’t relate to what you’re trying to talk about.

No—it’s because they don’t care about YOU.

They know it will make you feel “rejected” and hurt and… perhaps that’s the point.

They can’t be bothered to cut you off, so instead they act passive-aggressive and hope they hurt you.

12) “I want to be alone for now.”

It’s okay to set boundaries—to tell people that you want to be left alone.

But somehow it’s never the “right time”.

Every single time you try talking to them, they always reply with “please leave me alone for now.”

And it’s not like it’s just a case of long-term depression, because you can still see them being happy and interacting with others all the time.

What they’re trying to say is “I don’t want to talk to you”, and honestly it’d be for the best if you were to leave them alone.

Final thoughts

There are many reasons why people would treat you like the way I had just described.

You might have had unresolved issues that just kept building up until they could stand you no longer. Or maybe they just can’t get along with your vibes.

It’s not necessarily that you’re not “good enough” for them, even if many of us would have thought so back when we were younger.

Personalities just clash, sometimes. And that’s okay.

What’s important is that if someone’s clearly trying to push you away or keep you at a distance, it’s best to keep your distance.

Use your precious time finding your tribe instead.