None of us wants to feel like we’re oversensitive or reading too much into things. 

But a certain amount of sensitivity is an indispensable survival tool. 

It helps us to root out the liars and thieves among us, spotting their words that are deceptive and seeing through their divisive and dishonest tactics. 

Here’s a look at the kind of phrases that dishonest and sleazy people use in conversation. 

1) “As far as I recall…” 

This is the perfect way for a person to gaslight and lie about what happened. 

If they mislead you, they can always claim it was just a failing of the memory. 

It’s a “hedging their bets” type of statement that can definitely indicate a lack of accuracy. 

2) “Do you really think I would do such a thing?”

This statement tries to make you feel guilty for suspecting or even mentioning something. 

You’re told that even hinting that they did something means you are insulting them. 

This is classic gaslighting 101. 

3) “Did I do it? … Seriously? Of course not!” 

This is similar to the previous statement, with the added element that the person repeats the full “Did I do it?” as if in shock. 

They’re mostly fishing for time and getting their words together to deliver a good riposte.

This is usually them searching for an excuse or distraction to push away from the subject.

4) “I would never…” 

This is often the framing of a deceptive or sleazy statement. 

It’s a denial that’s trying just a little bit too hard to be completely believable, framed in black-and-white language. 

As Deep Patel notes:

“Using non-specific language, generalized phrases and sweeping statements are common tactics for liars, who are trying to avoid giving hard facts and information.”

5) “Trust me…”

Using this phrase excessively might be an attempt to manipulate trust.

No matter how close your relationship is, those who insist that you trust them without providing genuine reasons to do so are often on the shady side.

At least in specific situations where there’s no real reason for this kind of a “hard sell,” be cautious of those who insist they are trustworthy.

6) “I never lie”

Such absolute statements can be red flags.

Honesty is a complex thing, and almost all of us at least tell white lies and small inaccuracies now and then.

When a person makes a very strong statement like this it can ironically be a sign they are lacking in integrity and trying to sell you on a glorified version of themselves. 

7) “Off the record…”

In journalism it’s sometimes necessary to talk off the record and get information “on background” as it’s known. 

Even though it can’t be cited in a report, this information can be useful to the reporter in understanding the topic or issue at hand. 

However outside of most contexts, this phrase may indicate an intention to share gossip or dodgy information without accountability or transparency.

8) “You can’t tell anyone else this, but…” 

There are situations where secrecy and confidential information is necessary. 

But encouraging secrecy or confidentiality without a valid reason is usually a sign that somebody isn’t telling you the truth. 

They are getting you to only trust their own version of reality and locking you into an illusory set of facts. 

9) “Technically…”

This word can be valid to use in certain contexts, and sometimes it is said in a more wry and humorous way. 

But when it’s used in a truly legalistic way to convince you of something, it often indicates deceit. 

Using these words to manipulate the interpretation of facts or events is a common tactic of those who communicate in a very indirect and often misleading way. 

10) “It’s not what it looks like…”

Sometimes it is what it looks like, especially when somebody has been caught in a compromising position. 

This phrase is often used to downplay or divert attention from a dishonest or hurtful action or discovery. 

If somebody says it, they are usually demanding the right to define reality for you and give you the one true, official version of what happened (according to them). 

11) “Many people are saying…”

Claiming information is from a reliable source without providing specifics can be a way to spread misinformation.

It’s a tactic known as “appeal to authority” and is often used by swindlers, dishonest politicians and corrupt scammers. 

Who exactly are these “many people” and why are their words more weighty than many other people who may be saying the opposite? 

12) “Everyone knows that…”

Those who say this are usually saying it in a judgmental way. 

They are indicating that a person who doesn’t know or believe something is ignorant or wrong. 

It’s just not a respectful thing to say and is usually delivered to pressure others to believe something. 

13) “Everybody does it…”

This is often used as a convenient excuse:

Whether it’s for something big like cheating or something small like throwing dirty clothes on the floor or drinking a bit too much. 

This statement is simply a way to avoid accountability and hide in the great mass of “everybody.”

14) “I can explain everything…”

When, exactly?

Usually this is said without actually…well…explaining! 

Promising a detailed explanation without actually providing one is often an attempt to buy time or manipulate the narrative.

They promise to explain it all and clarify all details. Then there keep being unexpected delays. 

15) “The money isn’t the important thing here”

Money isn’t everything, and sometimes it has to take second place. That’s true. 

But when a person tells you about how you should value money less, they’re usually trying to get more of it from you. 

Money may not be important to them in this situation (or so they claim), but they don’t have the right to define whether it’s important to you in the interaction.

This phrase is often used to deflect attention from dishonest financial motives.

16) “You aren’t listening”

Blaming others for misunderstandings without taking responsibility for unclear communication is a classic sign of a person who lacks integrity and truthfulness. 

If a person is truly feeling unheard or misunderstood, that’s fair enough and they may emote about that. 

But if they are saying this to simply demand that another person agree with them, it’s little more than a bullying tactic. 

17) “I never said that…” 

Denying statements that were clearly made is an attempt to avoid accountability.

Trying to honestly correct a misunderstanding or clarify what they said is one thing…

But an actual denial of what was said is an indication of a person who lacks integrity and honesty and is hoping you’ll go along with their gaslighting.