Manipulation and deception can be subtle, both in action and in language. As your trusted relationship expert and the founder of Love Connection, I’ve seen how certain phrases can be telltale signs of these harmful behaviors.

The key is awareness. If you know what to look out for, you can spot these manipulative phrases and protect yourself accordingly.

In this article, I’m going to share with you eight phrases that, when used in conversation, could be a clear sign of manipulation and deceit.

Remember, communication should always be open, honest, and respectful – anything less isn’t worth your time.

Stay with me as we uncover these deceptive phrases together.

1) “Trust me”

In the world of relationships, trust is something earned, not demanded. When someone uses the phrase “Trust me,” it can often be a red flag.

Manipulators use this phrase to create an illusion of honesty and sincerity, even when their intentions aren’t pure. It’s like they’re trying to fast-track the trust-building process, which, in reality, takes time and consistency.

The problem arises when this phrase is used to dismiss your concerns or doubts. Instead of addressing the issue at hand, they’re asking you to blindly trust them. This isn’t open or respectful communication – it’s manipulation.

Genuine trust in a relationship is built through actions, not words. If someone constantly uses “Trust me” as their go-to phrase, it’s time to take a step back and examine their behavior more closely.

This isn’t about being paranoid but about protecting yourself and maintaining healthy boundaries. So, let’s stay vigilant and aware.

2) “You’re overreacting”

Ah, the classic. “You’re overreacting” is a phrase that I’ve heard many times in my work as a relationship expert. It’s a common tool used by manipulators to make you doubt your feelings and perceptions.

The essence of this phrase is to make you feel that your response to a situation is unreasonable or irrational. In doing so, they shift the focus from their actions to your reactions, cleverly sidestepping their responsibility.

It reminds me of a powerful quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Don’t let anyone belittle your feelings or reactions. They are valid, and they matter.

3) “If you really loved me…”

Oh, how this phrase tugs at the heartstrings. “If you really loved me…” is a manipulative tactic that preys on your emotions and feelings of guilt.

It’s a form of emotional blackmail, creating undue pressure for you to comply with their wants or demands.

It’s a powerful form of manipulation where people close to us can use our fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG) against us.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I talk extensively about how to recognize and counter such manipulative tactics.

But for now, just know that love is not a bargaining chip, and it shouldn’t be used as one. 

4) “I’m sorry you feel that way”

Now, this might seem counterintuitive at first. After all, isn’t an apology a good thing?

Well, not always.

“I’m sorry you feel that way” is a non-apology. It’s a clever way of shifting blame without taking any real responsibility. The underlying message is, “I’m sorry you’re upset, but I’m not sorry for what I did.”

Instead of acknowledging their actions, they’re focusing on your feelings and subtly implying that you’re the problem, not them.

It’s a classic manipulation tactic that can make you second-guess yourself. Don’t fall for it. An authentic apology recognizes the mistake and expresses regret for the actions, not just the feelings they caused.

5) “I never said that”

This phrase brings back memories. Years ago, before I became a relationship expert, I had a friend who would often use this line. And let me tell you, it was incredibly frustrating.

“I never said that” is a form of gaslighting, a psychological manipulation technique used to make you doubt your own memory, judgment, or even sanity. It creates a fog of doubt around the truth, making you question your perception of reality.

The person using this phrase might be trying to rewrite history to suit their narrative or escape accountability for something they’ve said or done.

If someone frequently denies their words or actions, it’s probably not about your memory failing you. It’s likely a manipulative tactic.

Trust your instincts and keep an eye out for this red flag.

6) “You’re too sensitive”

This one’s a bit raw, but it needs to be said. “You’re too sensitive” is a phrase often used to dismiss your feelings and emotions. It’s a way to undermine your experiences and make you feel like you’re the problem.

When someone tells you that you’re too sensitive, they’re effectively saying that your feelings are invalid or exaggerated. They’re refusing to acknowledge the impact of their behavior on you.

In the rawest sense, this is an attempt to silence you, to make you feel guilty for expressing your emotions. And that, my dear readers, is manipulation.

There’s no such thing as being too sensitive. Your feelings are your own, and they’re always valid. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

7) “I was just joking”

This one takes me back to my high school days. Remember when someone would say something hurtful, then quickly cover it up with, “I was just joking”?

“I was just joking” is often used as an escape route after saying something offensive or hurtful. It’s a way to brush off their harmful words and make it seem like you’re the one who can’t take a joke.

In reality, it’s a subtle form of manipulation and gaslighting. They’re trying to make you feel guilty for being hurt by their words without taking any responsibility for what they’ve said.

8) “I hate drama”

Now, this one might surprise you. But hear me out. When someone often says “I hate drama”, it could be a sign of manipulation.

Sounds strange, I know. But the truth is people who consistently proclaim their hatred for drama can sometimes be the ones stirring the pot.

By saying “I hate drama”, they’re setting up a dynamic where any conflict or disagreement is seen as unnecessary drama. It’s a subtle way to silence dissent and avoid accountability.

In its rawest, most honest form, this phrase can be a manipulator’s tool to control the narrative and escape confrontation.

Final thoughts

To wrap up, it’s crucial to remember that communication is a two-way street. It should be respectful, open, and honest.

If you notice these phrases popping up frequently in your conversations, it might be time to reassess the dynamics at play.

You have the right to express your feelings without being made to feel guilty or irrational. Don’t let anyone diminish your experiences or manipulate your emotions.

For more insights on understanding and addressing manipulation, check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s filled with practical advice and strategies to help you navigate difficult relationship dynamics.

Stay strong, stay aware, and remember – you deserve to be treated with respect.