Have you ever met someone who always knows just what to say to make you feel guilty or down?

Well, there’s a chance you could be dealing with an emotional manipulator.

Emotional manipulation is when someone uses tricks and sneaky tactics to control your feelings.

It’s kind of like a puppet show. You can’t see the strings, but you sure can feel them tugging at your heart.

In this article, we’re going to break down 10 phrases that emotional manipulators love to throw around.

1. “You’re just too sensitive”

The first phrase that can signal emotional manipulation is “You’re just too sensitive”.

Now, let’s clear something up. Being sensitive isn’t a bad thing. It means you’re thoughtful and empathetic. But manipulators try to turn this into a negative quality.

When someone tells you that you’re “too sensitive,” they’re trying to control how you should react to their actions or words. They’re attempting to make you feel guilty for having feelings, which isn’t fair at all.

If someone uses this phrase often, they might be trying to manipulate your emotions.

2. “I was just joking”

The second phrase to look out for is “I was just joking”.

We all love a good joke, but sometimes, people use humor as a cover-up for hurtful or disrespectful comments. If someone frequently makes hurtful remarks and then brushes them off as jokes, they might be emotionally manipulating you.

In essence, they’re trying to make you feel bad and then blaming you for not having a sense of humor when you react. That’s not cool.

3. “You’re overreacting”

Here’s another one: “You’re overreacting”.

This phrase is a classic one used by emotional manipulators. By telling you that you’re overreacting, they’re trying to minimize your feelings and control how you should respond to a situation.

I remember a time when a friend constantly belittled my reactions. If I was hurt by something they did or said and expressed my feelings, their go-to response was, “You’re overreacting”. It took me a while to realize that this was their way of avoiding responsibility for their actions.

Remember, you have every right to feel the way you do. No one else gets to decide if your reaction is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. If someone often tells you that you’re overreacting, they might be trying to manipulate your feelings.

4. “I never said that”

The fourth phrase on our list is “I never said that”.

This is a technique often used by manipulators, known as gaslighting. It’s when someone makes you question your memory, perception, or sanity by denying things they said or did.

The term “gaslighting” comes from a 1938 play called “Gas Light,” where a husband manipulates his wife into believing she’s going insane. He does this by subtly dimming the gas-powered lights in their home, and then denying that the light changed when his wife points it out.

If someone frequently denies saying things that you clearly remember, they might be gaslighting you. It’s a form of emotional manipulation and it’s important to recognize it for what it is.

5. “You owe me”

Next up is “You owe me”.

This phrase is a manipulator’s tool to make you feel like you’re forever in their debt. They might remind you of past favors or kind deeds, using them as a way to guilt you into doing what they want now.

It’s okay to appreciate someone’s past help, but it shouldn’t be used as a bargaining chip. True kindness doesn’t come with strings attached.

When someone tells you, “you owe me,” it can really tug at your heartstrings. But remember, no one should hold their good deeds over your head. Friendship and love are about giving freely, not keeping score.

6. “You’re not the person I fell in love with”

Here’s another phrase that can be a red flag: “You’re not the person I fell in love with”.

I remember a time in one of my past relationships when my partner used this line on me. Every time we disagreed or I stood up for myself, they would tell me, “You’ve changed. You’re not the person I fell in love with.” It took me a while to realize that they were using this phrase to control my behavior and make me feel guilty for growing and changing.

If someone often uses this phrase, they might be trying to manipulate your feelings and keep you ‘in your place’. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for evolving as a person.

7. “If you really loved me”

Alright, let’s get real for a moment. One of the most manipulative phrases out there is “If you really loved me”.

This phrase is a manipulator’s trump card. By using it, they’re blackmailing you emotionally to bend to their will. They’re trying to guilt you into doing something by questioning your love for them.

And let’s be honest here, it’s a low blow. Love isn’t about proving yourself by doing whatever someone else wants. It’s about respect, trust, and mutual understanding.

So, if someone tries to pull the “If you really loved me” card on you, recognize it for what it is – emotional manipulation.

8. “It’s all your fault”

The eighth phrase to be aware of is “It’s all your fault”.

Blaming others is an easy way out for emotional manipulators. By putting the blame on you, they’re avoiding responsibility for their own actions.

According to psychology, people who frequently blame others are often doing so to protect their own self-esteem. This behaviour is known as ‘projection’ and it’s a common trait among emotional manipulators.

So, if someone is always pointing the finger at you, they might be trying to manipulate you. It’s important to acknowledge when you’re at fault, but don’t let anyone make you feel like everything is always on you.

9. “You always…”/”You never…”

The ninth phrase is a two-for-one deal: “You always…” and “You never…”.

I’ve had people in my life who loved to use these phrases. “You always forget important things,” or “You never take my advice.” These absolute terms were used to make me feel like I was constantly failing or not living up to expectations.

These phrases are problematic because they box you into a stereotype and don’t leave room for change or growth. They’re often used to make you feel defensive and less than.

If someone in your life frequently uses these phrases, they might be trying to manipulate your emotions. Remember, nobody’s perfect. We all have our ‘always’ and ‘never’ moments, but they don’t define us.

10. “Why can’t you be more like…?”

Lastly, we have the phrase, “Why can’t you be more like…?”

This one hits hard. There’s a raw honesty to how much it hurts when someone compares you unfavorably to someone else. It’s a manipulator’s way of putting you down and making you feel like you’re not good enough.

Whether it’s, “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” or “You should be more like my ex,” these comparisons are unfair and harmful. They’re designed to make you feel inferior and to control your behavior.

Remember, you’re unique and that’s your strength. If someone often compares you to others, it might be a form of emotional manipulation. You’re not here to live up to someone else’s idea of who you should be. Be proud of who you are and don’t let anyone make you feel less than that.