If someone uses these 10 phrases in a conversation, they have below-average empathy

Olivia Reid by Olivia Reid | April 28, 2025, 5:24 am

Empathy is what separates us from the robots. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

But there’s a catch – not everyone has the same level of empathy.

Some people, unfortunately, lack this crucial attribute, making it hard for them to connect with others in a meaningful way. You might wonder, how can you identify a low-empathy individual?

Well, it’s all in their words. There are specific phrases that can be tell-tale signs someone has below-average empathy.

Stay with me as I list the 10 phrases that signal a lack of empathy in a conversation. It’s going to be an eye-opener!

1) “I don’t see why you’re so upset”

Empathy is all about understanding and sharing in the feelings of others. But when someone has below-average empathy, they might struggle to comprehend why someone else is feeling a certain way.

Take the phrase “I don’t see why you’re so upset”. It’s a clear sign of lack of empathy. This phrase doesn’t just imply a lack of understanding, but a dismissal of the other person’s emotions.

In essence, it’s like saying “your feelings are not valid” or “your emotions don’t make sense to me”. It’s a sign of failure to step into someone else’s shoes and understand their perspective.

If you hear this phrase in a conversation, it could be a red flag that the person you’re speaking with lacks empathy. But remember, it’s just one sign. Look for patterns in their communication and behavior – that will give you a clearer picture.

2) “You’re just overreacting”

I remember a time when I was going through a rough patch. I was dealing with personal issues, and everything seemed overwhelming. I confided in a friend about my feelings, hoping to receive some empathy and understanding.

Instead, what I got was, “You’re just overreacting.” That phrase hit me like a ton of bricks. It was as if my feelings were being belittled, and I felt even more isolated and misunderstood.

When someone tells you that you’re overreacting, it indicates they are dismissing your feelings rather than trying to understand them. It’s a clear sign of below-average empathy because it shows a lack of respect for your emotional response.

So, if someone frequently uses this phrase during conversations, you might be dealing with someone who lacks empathy.

3) “That’s not my problem”

In an interconnected world, it’s hard to draw a line between what’s “my problem” and what’s “your problem”. The phrase “That’s not my problem” is often used by people who have trouble empathizing with others.

This phrase reflects a lack of concern for other people’s issues, a clear sign of below-average empathy. It’s like building an emotional wall and not allowing oneself to relate to the concerns or problems of others.

4) “I don’t have time for this”

Empathy requires time and patience. It’s about being present, listening, and trying to understand the other person’s feelings and experiences. But when someone consistently uses the phrase “I don’t have time for this,” it can be a sign of below-average empathy.

This phrase communicates that the person’s issues or feelings are not important enough to warrant time and attention. It’s a dismissive reaction that can leave the other person feeling unheard and invalidated.

Keep in mind, everyone can get busy or overwhelmed at times, but if this phrase is a regular part of someone’s conversational repertoire, it might indicate a lack of empathy.

5) “Just move on”

Healing and moving on from painful situations take time. It’s a process that requires understanding, patience, and most importantly, empathy. When someone often uses the phrase “Just move on,” it demonstrates a lack of these qualities.

Telling someone to simply “move on” is dismissive. It overlooks the person’s feelings and experiences. It’s like saying their pain isn’t significant or worth addressing.

This lack of emotional understanding is a major indicator of below-average empathy. Remember, empathy isn’t about providing solutions; it’s about understanding and validating feelings.

6) “That doesn’t sound so bad”

Imagine opening up to someone about a situation that deeply hurt you, only to hear them say, “That doesn’t sound so bad.” It feels like a punch to the gut, doesn’t it?

This phrase is a clear indicator of below-average empathy. It trivializes your experience and shows a failure to understand the depth of your feelings.

In essence, it’s saying that your emotional response is unwarranted or exaggerated. This lack of understanding and validation can make one feel alone in their pain.

If someone frequently uses this phrase, it might be a sign that they struggle with empathizing with others.

7) “I’ve had worse”

I once shared with a friend about a difficult situation I was going through. I was looking for comfort and understanding, not a competition. But the response I got was, “I’ve had worse.”

This phrase is like a slap in the face. It’s dismissive and turns the conversation into a competition of who’s had it worse. Instead of offering understanding and empathy, it diverts attention to the speaker’s experiences.

The key to empathy is not to compare pain but to acknowledge it. If this phrase is a regular part of someone’s conversations, it could indicate a lack of empathy.

8) “At least you…”

Sometimes, in an attempt to make someone feel better, people say, “At least you…”. It might seem like a comforting phrase, but in reality, it can signal a lack of empathy.

This phrase tends to minimize the person’s experience by pointing out the positives. While it’s important to look at the bright side, doing so without acknowledging the person’s feelings can be hurtful. It’s like saying their pain isn’t significant because things could have been worse.

Empathy is about acknowledging feelings, not brushing them aside. So if someone often uses this phrase, they might struggle with empathizing with others.

9) “You’re too sensitive”

The phrase “You’re too sensitive” is often used as a way to invalidate someone’s feelings or reactions. It’s a way of saying that the issue isn’t with the situation or the person’s actions, but with the other person’s emotional response.

This is a clear sign of below-average empathy. Instead of trying to understand why the person is upset, the speaker is labeling them as overly emotional. It’s a way of dismissing their feelings without considering their perspective.

Remember, everyone has a right to their feelings. If someone frequently uses this phrase, it might be an indicator of a lack of empathy.

10) “It’s not a big deal”

The phrase “It’s not a big deal” is perhaps one of the most dismissive phrases in conversations. It communicates that the speaker doesn’t think the other person’s feelings or concerns are valid or important.

It’s important to remember that what might seem insignificant to one person could be a big deal to another. Empathy is about understanding and validating these feelings, not dismissing them.

If someone often uses this phrase, it could be a strong signal of below-average empathy. It’s essential to communicate with kindness and understanding, acknowledging the feelings of others instead of diminishing them.