If someone subconsciously can’t stand you, they’ll usually these 9 subtle behaviors

Avatar by Lachlan Brown | July 29, 2024, 12:26 pm

There’s a thin line between disliking someone and plain not being able to stand them.

The distinction often boils down to subtlety. When someone can’t stand you, they might not always be upfront about it, masking their true feelings behind a facade.

However, the subconscious mind is an interesting beast. Despite our best efforts to hide our feelings, certain subtle behaviors tend to slip through the cracks.

In this article, we’ll shed light on these subtle signs that indicate someone might not be your biggest fan.

Curious? Keep reading to uncover these 9 subtle behaviors that people exhibit when they subconsciously can’t stand you.

1) They avoid eye contact

Eye contact is a simple yet powerful form of human connection.

It conveys interest, trust, and openness, but what happens when someone consistently avoids meeting your gaze?

Often, when someone subconsciously can’t stand you, they’ll tend to avoid eye contact. It’s like their subconscious mind is actively trying to disengage from you, even when their conscious mind might be maintaining a polite conversation.

This isn’t always a definitive sign of dislike – some people are naturally shy or uncomfortable with direct eye contact. But when coupled with other subtle behaviors, it can be a telling marker.

When you’re in conversation, take note of their eye movements. If they’re constantly darting away or avoiding your gaze altogether, you might not be their favorite person in the room.

2) They’re always ‘busy’

We all lead busy lives, juggling work, family, and personal commitments. But when someone is always ‘too busy’ to spend time with you, it might be more than just a packed schedule.

I remember a former colleague of mine. Let’s call him John. We’d often suggest grabbing lunch together or catching up after work. Each time, John would say he was too swamped with work or had other commitments.

At first, I brushed it off as him being genuinely busy. But over time, I realized it was more than that. Even on quieter days at work or during social gatherings, John would subtly distance himself from me.

In hindsight, his consistent ‘busyness’ was a subtle behavior indicating that he just couldn’t stand me. It was his way of maintaining a polite distance without being outright rude. If you notice someone always has an excuse not to engage with you, they might be subtly signaling their discomfort around you.

3) Their body language is closed off

Our bodies can express a lot more than our words often do, thanks to nonverbal communication. This form of communication is primal and dates back to our ancestors who relied on it for survival before languages were fully developed.

When someone can’t stand you subconsciously, their body language can often give them away. They might cross their arms, avoid facing you directly, or even create physical barriers by placing objects between the two of you.

This closed off body language is a subconscious attempt to protect themselves and create distance. It’s like a silent broadcast of their discomfort around you. 

4) They interrupt you often

We’ve all been in conversations where we’re eager to share our thoughts. But consistently interrupting someone during a discussion can be a subtle sign of disrespect.

When someone subconsciously can’t stand you, they might frequently interrupt you or talk over you, even if they don’t realize they’re doing it. It’s as if their subconscious mind is trying to minimize your input and assert their dominance in the conversation.

Everyone deserves to be heard and respected in a conversation. If someone is continually cutting you off, it might indicate deeper underlying feelings of disdain.

5) They rarely initiate conversation

Communication is a two-way street, with both parties contributing to the flow of conversation. But when one person rarely initiates interaction, it could be a subtle sign they’re not too keen on you.

If someone subconsciously can’t stand you, they might wait for you to start the conversation, or respond with short, curt replies. Their lack of effort in maintaining or initiating dialogue could be their subconscious way of limiting their interaction with you.

Keep an eye out for this behavior. If you’re always the one reaching out, it might be a subtle indication that the other person isn’t as invested in the relationship as you are.

6) They don’t remember personal details about you

When we care about someone, we make an effort to remember the small details about their life – their favorite book, their pet’s name, the story behind their most cherished memory. These bits of information make up the fabric of our relationships and signal that we value the other person.

However, when someone subconsciously can’t stand you, they might frequently forget these personal details. It’s not because they have a bad memory, but because their subconscious mind isn’t making an effort to retain this information.

It can feel hurtful when someone doesn’t remember these personal aspects about you. 

7) They rarely smile in your presence

Smiles are powerful. They can lighten up a room, convey happiness, and create a sense of connection. But when someone rarely smiles in your presence, it can feel like a cold wind blowing through that connection.

I recall a time when I met a friend of a friend at a social gathering. Despite my attempts to engage her in friendly conversation, she barely cracked a smile. At first, I thought she was just having a bad day. But over time, I noticed this was consistent behavior every time we crossed paths.

It was disheartening, to say the least. But it served as a subtle sign that she didn’t really enjoy my company.

A lack of smiles or laughter in your presence could indicate that someone subconsciously finds it hard to feel comfortable or joyful around you.

8) They’re quick to criticize you

Constructive criticism is a key part of growth and development. But there’s a difference between feedback that builds up and criticism that tears down.

When someone can’t stand you subconsciously, they might constantly find faults in your ideas, actions, or words. It’s like their subconscious mind is trying to validate their negative feelings towards you.

This constant criticism can be disheartening. But remember, it’s crucial to distinguish between constructive feedback and unwarranted criticism. Your worth is not defined by someone else’s perception of you.

9) They seem disinterested in your stories

Storytelling is a powerful way to connect with others. It allows us to share our experiences, ideas, and emotions. But when someone consistently seems disinterested in your stories, it could be a subtle sign they subconsciously can’t stand you.

They might seem distracted, constantly check their phone, or change the topic abruptly. It’s as if their subconscious is trying to escape the conversation.

Your stories matter. If someone can’t appreciate them, it’s their loss, not yours. Your voice deserves to be heard and valued.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-awareness

The complexity of human behavior is deeply intertwined with our unconscious minds. These subtle behaviors that indicate someone might not be able to stand you are just the tip of the iceberg in understanding the depth of human interactions.

Famed psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.” This quote highlights the importance of self-awareness in understanding not only our own behavior but also in decoding the behaviors of those around us.

Recognizing these subtle behaviors in others allows us to better navigate our social interactions and relationships. It might be a tough pill to swallow, but it’s also an opportunity for reflection and growth.

In the end, remember that someone else’s subconscious discomfort with you is more about them than it is about you. Your worth isn’t defined by how others perceive you, but by how you perceive yourself. Keep being uniquely you and let your light shine.

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