Navigating the world of interpersonal relationships can be tricky, especially when it comes to deciphering others’ feelings.

Often, people aren’t upfront about their feelings of dislike, choosing instead to mask them behind polite smiles and cordial conversations. But there are subtle signs that can give them away.

As a keen observer of human behavior, I have identified ten subtle behaviors that someone may display if they secretly dislike you.

This isn’t about paranoia or overthinking, but about understanding the unspoken language of human behavior.

Let’s get started. 

1) They avoid eye contact

It’s often said the eyes are the windows to the soul – they can reveal more than words ever could. Renowned psychologist, Paul Ekman, has noted that people often have difficulty meeting someone’s gaze if they harbor negative feelings towards them.

If someone is avoiding your gaze, it could be a sign that they’re not as fond of you as they may lead on. This isn’t about an occasional glance away or a shy demeanor, but a consistent avoidance of direct eye contact.

This subtle behavior speaks volumes. It’s a non-verbal cue that may indicate discomfort, lack of trust or even disdain. So, if you notice someone persistently avoiding your gaze, they may just be revealing their hidden dislike.

This isn’t about jumping to conclusions or accusing someone falsely. It’s about understanding human behavior better to navigate our interpersonal relationships more effectively.

2) Their body language is closed off

Albert Mehrabian, a pioneer in the field of nonverbal communication, once said that “93% of communication is nonverbal.”

The way someone positions their body can say a lot about how they feel about you.

I remember a time when I was at a social event. There was one person who, despite engaging in conversation with me, always had their arms crossed and body turned slightly away. I felt an unspoken barrier between us.

It wasn’t aggressive or overtly rude, but the closed-off body language was indicative of discomfort and possibly a subtle sign of dislike. The conversation was polite, sure, but the body language told a different story.

Observing body language can provide crucial insights into someone’s feelings. If someone is consistently closed off in their body language towards you – arms crossed, body angled away, minimal movements – they might not be your biggest fan.

3) They consistently interrupt you

Communication is a two-way street. And when someone consistently interrupts or talks over you, it can be a subtle sign that they don’t value what you have to say.

Carl Rogers, one of the most influential psychologists of the 20th century, emphasized the importance of active listening in his person-centered therapy.

He said, “Real communication occurs when we listen with understanding – to see the idea and attitude from the other person’s point of view.”

Personally, I’ve experienced this. I was sharing my thoughts in a group discussion and was constantly interrupted by one person. It wasn’t merely the interruption but the dismissive tone that hit me. It felt as if my opinions were insignificant.

This behavior might be subtle, but it sends a powerful message of disregard and disrespect. It’s raw and honest – if someone consistently interrupts you, it could indicate that they secretly dislike you.

4) They’re overly critical of you

Constructive criticism is healthy, but when it becomes frequent and nitpicky, it might be a subtle sign of hidden dislike.

Renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow once said, “In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.” Constructive criticism helps us step forward into growth. But with someone who secretly dislikes you, their criticism often lacks the constructive element.

I recall a colleague who was always quick to point out my mistakes. It started off as constructive but slowly turned into nitpicking every little thing I did. It felt less like helpful feedback and more like a constant stream of negativity.

If you notice someone is consistently overcritical of you, especially on trivial matters, they might be harbouring feelings of dislike towards you.

5) They’re excessively courteous

Sometimes, a sign of dislike isn’t always negative. It can be counterintuitively hidden behind excessive politeness or courtesy.

Psychologist Sigmund Freud said, “He that has eyes to see and ears to hear may convince himself that no mortal can keep a secret.”

While he meant it in the context of keeping secrets, it also applies to hidden feelings.

Excessive courtesy can often be a facade to conceal underlying negativity.

I once knew someone who was always excessively courteous to me. At first, it felt nice, but soon, the over-politeness felt inauthentic and forced. It was as if they were trying too hard to maintain a cordial front while hiding their true feelings.

If you sense someone’s politeness towards you feels forced or unauthentic, it might be a subtle sign that they secretly dislike you.

6) They avoid you

It’s quite simple; people tend to gravitate towards those they like and avoid those they don’t. If someone consistently avoids you, it can be a sign that they secretly dislike you.

According to Carl Jung, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

This essentially means people often avoid others when they see something in them that they are not comfortable with in themselves.

You may notice them leaving a room when you enter, or consistently finding reasons not to interact with you. While it’s important not to jump to conclusions, if this behavior is consistent, it may be more than coincidence.

7) They mock you subtly

Subtle mockery, especially when it’s frequent, can be a sign of hidden distaste. It’s often masked as humor, but the underlying intent can be hurtful.

As E. B. White famously said, “Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process.”

What he meant is that humor can often be used as a tool to veil negative feelings.

I once had a friend who would frequently mock me under the guise of humor.

It was subtle, often in front of others, and left me feeling belittled. It was only later I realized that this was their way of expressing their hidden disapproval or dislike.

If you notice someone consistently making you the butt of their jokes or subtly mocking you, they might not be as friendly towards you as they appear.

8) They never initiate contact

When someone never seems to reach out or initiate contact, it can be a subtle sign of their lack of interest or hidden dislike.

People like those who like them. If someone is not putting any effort into maintaining or initiating contact, it could indicate that they don’t like you as much as you might think.

If you’re always the one initiating conversations or making plans, and they never reciprocate, they might not value your relationship as much as you do.

This isn’t about keeping score but recognizing patterns. 

9) They’re overly competitive with you

Healthy competition is a part of life, but when someone is constantly trying to one-up you, it can be a subtle sign of hidden dislike.

However, when competition becomes more about overshadowing you and less about personal growth, it might hint towards underlying negative feelings.

It’s counterintuitive but true – someone who is overly competitive with you might not be doing so out of a sense of camaraderie or friendly rivalry. Instead, they might be trying to assert their superiority over you, a veiled sign of their dislike.

10) They rarely smile at you

A genuine smile can be one of the most transparent signs of warmth and fondness. Conversely, a lack of smiles – especially genuine ones – can hint towards hidden dislike.

American psychologist and author, Dr. Daniel Goleman, once noted that a genuine smile sends a message not only of pleasure but also of social connection. If someone rarely smiles at you, it could indicate a lack of that social connection.

I remember an acquaintance who would always greet me with a stoic expression. Their lack of smiles felt cold and distant, which eventually led me to realize that they weren’t as friendly towards me as I had initially believed.

If someone rarely smiles at you, especially when they’re warm and expressive with others, it could be a subtle sign that they secretly dislike you.