If someone secretly can’t stand you, they’ll usually display these subtle 9 behaviors

There’s a distinct difference between someone genuinely liking you and someone pretending to.
The key is in their behavior.
When someone can’t stand you, even if they’re trying to hide it, they usually give off subtle signals.
Being able to pick up on these signals can save you from awkward situations and help you navigate your relationships more effectively.
In this article, we’ll uncover nine subtle behaviors that people often display when they secretly can’t stand you.
I bet you’ll find it incredibly revealing as we decode the unspoken language of dislike.
Get ready, because some of these might come as a surprise!
1) They avoid eye contact
Eye contact is a fundamental human interaction.
It’s a way we connect, express our feelings, and establish a relationship.
When someone genuinely likes you, they’re more likely to make and maintain eye contact with you.
It’s a sign of respect, attention, and interest.
However, when someone can’t stand you, even subtly, they may avoid making eye contact.
They might look around the room, check their phone or simply stare blankly at something else while you’re talking.
It’s an unconscious behavior that people often display when they’re uncomfortable or disinterested.
It’s like their eyes are trying to escape the situation before the rest of their body can.
But remember, occasionally avoiding eye contact doesn’t necessarily mean they dislike you.
They could be shy or just having a bad day. It’s a pattern of behavior to watch for.
Our job here is not to jump to conclusions but to be more aware of these subtle signals.
2) They’re always too busy
We all have busy lives. But there’s a difference between genuinely being swamped and using busyness as an excuse to avoid someone.
When someone can’t stand you, they might always seem to be ‘too busy’ for you.
Invitations are declined, messages go unanswered, and they’re suddenly unavailable whenever you’re around.
To give you a personal example, I once had a friend who was always ‘busy’.
Every time I suggested catching up or doing something together, she would always have a reason not to.
At first, I thought it was just bad timing or that she really was just super busy.
But then I noticed she was still hanging out with other friends and posting about it on social media.
It was a clear sign that she didn’t really want to spend time with me.
It hurt at first, but realizing this enabled me to move on and invest my time in people who truly valued my company.
Again, it’s essential to consider the context. Some people genuinely are super busy.
But if someone consistently has no time for you while making time for others, they might not be as fond of you as you thought.
3) Their body language is closed off
Body language often reveals what words try to hide.
When someone can’t stand you, they may exhibit closed-off body language.
This can include crossing arms, turning away from you, or maintaining a noticeable physical distance.
According to studies in the field of nonverbal communication, our brains are wired to mirror the body language of people we feel comfortable with and like.
So when someone is displaying closed-off body language towards us, it could be a subconscious sign of their discomfort or dislike.
Of course, body language can depend on a person’s personality and comfort level as well.
It’s all about noticing changes and patterns.
If someone who was once open and relaxed around you suddenly becomes closed off, it could be a sign they’re not feeling too fond of you anymore.
4) They’re overly polite
Politeness is generally a good thing. But when someone is overly polite to you, it might be a sign they can’t stand you.
You see, when people don’t like someone, they often try to keep their interactions as formal and brief as possible.
Over-politeness is a way to maintain a safe distance without causing conflict or showing their true feelings.
They might keep conversations brief and stick to small talk.
They may also avoid deeper, personal discussions that could lead to a stronger bond.
This doesn’t mean that every person who’s polite to you secretly dislikes you.
But if you notice that someone’s politeness feels forced or excessive, it could be a sign that they’re trying to hide their real feelings about you.
5) They don’t engage in your conversations
When someone likes you, they’ll show genuine interest in what you’re saying.
They’ll engage with your stories, ask follow-up questions, and show enthusiasm in their responses.
However, when someone secretly can’t stand you, they may exhibit the complete opposite behavior.
They might respond with terse answers, change the subject quickly or not contribute much to the conversation.
This lack of engagement is often a sign that they’re not interested in forming a deeper connection with you.
It’s as if they’re going through the motions of a conversation without really being present.
Again, it’s important to remember that everyone has off days.
But if this becomes a consistent pattern, it might be a sign that they’re not as fond of you as they let on.
6) They don’t remember important details about you
We all forget things from time to time. But when someone consistently forgets important details about you, it can feel hurtful.
If they repeatedly forget your birthday, your favorite things, or important events you’ve mentioned, it may not be mere forgetfulness.
It could be a lack of genuine interest or care.
When we value someone, we make an effort to remember things about them.
It’s a way of showing that we care and that they’re important to us.
On the flip side, if someone can’t stand you, they might not bother to remember these details.
After all, why would they invest mental energy in someone they don’t like?
Remember, everyone forgets sometimes.
But if it’s a repeated pattern, it might be a subtle sign that they secretly can’t stand you.
7) They don’t include you in their plans
When we like someone, we naturally want to spend time with them.
We include them in our plans and invite them to events because their company is something we enjoy.
But when someone can’t stand you, they might do the opposite.
They might exclude you from their plans or ‘forget’ to invite you to events.
Once, I had a colleague who always seemed friendly at work but never included me in any after-work hangouts.
At first, I thought it was an oversight.
But when I found out that the rest of our team was regularly invited and I was the only one left out, it was clear that it was intentional.
It was a hard pill to swallow, but it made me realize that not everyone will like me, and that’s okay.
What’s important is to surround myself with people who genuinely enjoy my company and want to share their time with me.
If you often find yourself excluded from someone’s plans, it could be a subtle sign that they can’t stand you.
8) They rarely initiate contact
When someone likes you, they’ll often reach out to you.
They’ll start conversations, send you messages, or call you just to catch up.
On the other hand, when someone can’t stand you, they might rarely or never initiate contact.
You might always be the one to start conversations or make plans.
This lack of initiative can be a subtle sign of their true feelings.
It’s as if they’re okay with your presence when you’re around, but they won’t go out of their way to engage with you.
Once again, it’s essential not to jump to conclusions based on one behavior alone.
Some people are naturally less likely to initiate contact due to their personality or other factors.
But if this behavior is combined with other signs on this list, it could indicate that they secretly can’t stand you.
9) They’re noticeably happier without you
One of the most telling signs that someone can’t stand you is if they seem noticeably happier when you’re not around.
When they’re with you, they might appear bored, irritated, or restless.
But when you leave the room, they suddenly become more relaxed, cheerful, and animated.
Seeing someone’s mood lift dramatically when you’re not around can be a painful realization. But it’s an important one.
It tells you where you stand with them and can help you make decisions about how much time and energy you want to invest in that relationship.
Remember, it’s impossible to be liked by everyone.
The important thing is to surround yourself with people who appreciate and value you for who you are.
Endnote: Embrace the journey of understanding
Remember, not everyone will like you, and that’s okay.
What’s important is to cultivate relationships with those who appreciate and value you for who you are.
The journey towards understanding others is also a journey towards understanding ourselves.
And in this process, we learn, grow, and become better versions of ourselves.
So embrace this journey.
Pay attention to these subtle signs.
But most importantly, keep being you.