Navigating the social scene can be as tricky as finding your way out of a maze.

You’re often surrounded by different types of people, some who are as clear as crystal, and others whose intentions are not so easy to decipher.

There are times when you have a hunch about someone, their words just don’t seem to match up with their actions.

It’s not always dramatic or obvious.

It might just be a nagging feeling that something is off when they speak, even though your instincts, gut or intuition tell you otherwise.

Here’s how to confirm when you’re dealing with a cunning individual based on certain things they say in conversation.

This guide might just save you from falling into a well-disguised trap.

1) They always seem to have a ready answer

Conversation is a two-way street, a give and take, a dance of words if you will.

But when you’re dealing with a cunning person, it often feels like they’re leading the dance every single time.

One of the telltale signs of such individuals is that they always seem to have a ready answer for everything.

Even before you finish your sentence or question, they already have a response lined up. It’s as if they’ve rehearsed the entire thing beforehand.

This isn’t normal. Genuine conversations require thought, reflection, and sometimes even silence.

If it feels like you’re talking to someone who’s always one step ahead in the conversation, chances are, you might be dealing with a cunning individual.

2) They seem to know more about you than you’ve shared

Now, this one really got to me.

I remember having a conversation with someone who knew details about my life that I never shared with them. It was unnerving and made me feel exposed.

It’s like they had done their homework before even talking to me. They had an uncanny knowledge of my interests, my dislikes, and even some personal anecdotes.

I wondered how they knew so much about me when I had shared so little.

This is not typical in a regular conversation. It’s a sign of someone who has done their research to gain an upper hand, a classic move by a cunning person.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, be wary. You’re likely dealing with a cunning individual.

3) They frequently use flattery

I’ll never forget the time I met David at a networking event.

He had this way of making you feel like the most important person in the room. He was charming, disarming, and incredibly flattering. At first, I was taken in by his compliments and attention.

But as our conversation progressed, I noticed that his flattery was excessive and often misplaced. He complimented my work ethic when we were discussing my hobbies, and praised my taste in music when we were talking about books.

It was almost as if he was trying to butter me up, to make me more susceptible to his influence.

And that’s when it hit me.

Cunning people often use flattery as a tool for manipulation. The excessive and often misplaced compliments are their way of disarming you, making you more likely to agree with them or give them what they want.

4) They often agree with you, even when it doesn’t make sense

Mirroring is a common social behavior that helps establish rapport and build trust.

But did you know that mirroring can also be a tactic used by cunning people?

I found this out while having a conversation with a colleague. No matter what I said or what my opinion was, they were always in agreement. It felt odd, unnatural even.

When I delved deeper into this phenomenon, I discovered that cunning individuals often use agreement as a way to win your trust and lower your defenses.

If you notice someone agreeing with everything you say, even when it doesn’t make sense or contradicts their known beliefs, tread carefully. You might be dealing with someone cunning.

5) They’re masters at deflecting

I once had a friend who could turn any conversation around.

It didn’t matter what we were discussing or what the topic was. If things got uncomfortable or if they were put in a spot, they had this uncanny ability to shift the focus onto something or someone else.

At first, I found it amusing, even impressive. But then I began to see the pattern. It was always about dodging responsibility or avoiding accountability.

Cunning people are masters at deflection. They have an arsenal of tactics to shift focus away from themselves when the heat is on. They’ll bring up unrelated issues, point fingers at others, or even play the victim.

So the next time you’re in a conversation and notice someone constantly deflecting, keep your guard up. You might be dealing with a cunning individual.

6) They predominantly talk about themselves

Getting to know someone involves a balance of give and take.

But there was this one person I knew, their conversations were a one-way street, and that way was always about them.

They would talk about their achievements, their experiences, their problems, their ideas. There was hardly any room for me to share or contribute.

When I reflected on these conversations, I realized it was a manipulation tactic. By constantly talking about themselves, they maintained control over the conversation and kept the focus on their agenda.

Cunning people tend to dominate conversations by making them about themselves. They do this to control the narrative and keep others from delving deeper into topics they might not be comfortable with.

If you’re in a conversation with someone who rarely gives you space to speak or share your thoughts, you might be dealing with a cunning person.

7) They use guilt as a manipulative tool

I remember one particular conversation where I felt inexplicably guilty at the end.

The person I was talking to had a knack for spinning things in such a way that they always came out as the wronged party, and I always ended up feeling like the villain.

This wasn’t an isolated incident. It happened often enough for me to realize that they were using guilt as a tool to manipulate me, to get their way in conversations and decisions.

Cunning people are known to masterfully play the guilt card to control others. They can twist any situation in their favor, making you feel guilty for things you shouldn’t be feeling guilty about.

8) They’re constantly testing your boundaries

The most telling sign for me was when I noticed that someone was constantly testing my boundaries.

In every conversation, they would push a little further, ask a little more, and insist a little harder. It was as if they were trying to see how much they could get away with before I’d push back.

It wasn’t about getting to know me better. It was about seeing how much control they could exercise over me and the conversation.

Cunning people often test boundaries to see how much they can manipulate and control. They push until they find a weak spot and then exploit it to their advantage.

If you notice someone constantly pushing your boundaries in a conversation, be alert. It’s a classic sign of a cunning person, and you need to protect yourself.

The takeaway

Awareness is the first step towards change.

Start by observing your conversations more closely. Look out for the signs we’ve discussed, and see if they show up. Recognize when someone is trying to manipulate the conversation or test your boundaries.

But most importantly, trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. You have the right to assert yourself and set boundaries in your conversations and relationships.

Remember, it’s not about labeling people as “good” or “bad”. It’s about identifying behaviors that can harm us and learning how to protect ourselves. Dealing with cunning individuals can be challenging, but it also teaches us valuable lessons about trust, communication, and self-respect.

Take this journey of self-awareness at your own pace. No rush. No pressure. Just a commitment to understanding yourself better and nurturing healthier interactions.

If you need more support or guidance, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Online resources like Psychology Today can guide you in finding local therapists or counselors.