We’ve all been there.

Feeling like someone’s sizing us up, scrutinizing our every move. Like they’re secretly judging us.

You may feel it, but can you prove it?

The truth is, some people are really good at hiding their true feelings.

They might be throwing shade behind a poker face, leaving you clueless about their real thoughts.

But don’t worry. More often than not, these secret judgers can’t help but exhibit subtle behaviors that give them away.

These signs aren’t usually obvious, but if you look close enough, you’ll spot them.

So, if you feel like someone’s secretly judging you, keep reading.

Today, we’ll uncover some of these subtle behaviors that are dead giveaways.

And remember — I’m not trying to make you paranoid or anxious around people. Just aware and informed.

So let’s dive in, shall we?

1) They avoid eye contact

Ever been in a conversation with someone who just can’t seem to meet your gaze? Yeah, it’s weird, isn’t it?

I remember once, I was at a family gathering. My cousin Jane was there, and she kept avoiding my eye contact throughout the evening.

It was like she was deliberately looking everywhere but at me. I couldn’t help but feel that she was judging me in some way.

Eye contact is a critical element of human communication.

When someone avoids it, it’s a sign that they might be uncomfortable with you — or worse, secretly judging you.

2) They give you backhanded compliments

There’s nothing more confusing than a backhanded compliment. You know, when someone says something nice about you, but there’s a twist at the end that leaves you feeling… off.

I experienced this with a colleague once. He complimented me on my presentation skills but ended his praise with “for someone who’s not naturally charismatic.” Ouch, right?

Take note: true compliments are straightforward and leave you feeling good about yourself. Not confused or belittled.

3) They’re always too busy for you

Have you ever felt like you’re always the one reaching out, making plans and taking the initiative?

And yet, somehow, they’re always “too busy” for you.

This might be because they don’t value your time or your company as much as you’d like them to.

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but we need to face it: if someone is consistently unavailable for you, there’s a chance they are judging you, consciously or not.

Being there for each other, making time and effort — that’s what builds strong, respectful relationships.

If those elements aren’t there, it could be a sign of something else.

4) They’re overly critical

Ever met someone who just can’t seem to let anything slide? Someone who points out every little flaw and isn’t shy about giving their unsolicited advice?

I’ve had a friend like that. And honestly, it was tough to be around her.

She’d always find something to critique about me, my life, or my choices.

At first, I thought she was just trying to help. But over time, I realized this constant criticism was her way of judging me.

Criticism can be constructive, but there’s a line — and when someone crosses it regularly, it might mean they’re not as respectful towards you as you deserve.

5) They gossip about others with you

There’s this quote that goes, “If they’ll gossip with you, they’ll gossip about you.” And boy, is it spot on.

We all have that one friend or colleague who loves to spill the tea. They always seem to have the latest scoop on everyone.

But when someone is constantly gossiping about others, it might be a sign that they’re judging those people — and you too.

Gossiping is a way of passing judgment without directly confronting the person in question. 

6) They avoid interacting with you

Ever walked into a room and noticed someone quickly turning away or suddenly getting busy with something?

It could be a coincidence. Or it could be a sign that they’re judging you.

Avoidance is often an indicator of discomfort or disapproval.

If someone constantly avoids interacting with you, it can hint at their judgmental attitude towards you.

It’s like they’re trying to create a physical distance to match the psychological one.

7) They’re always trying to one-up you

There was this guy at my previous job, let’s call him Mark.

Whenever I shared something — a new idea, an achievement, even just a fun weekend plan — Mark would always have something bigger, better to share.

It was exhausting.

It’s like they’re trying to prove that they’re better than you in some way. And often, this need stems from their own insecurities.

Conclusion

So there you have it — some subtle signs that someone might be secretly judging you.

Remember, these are just indicators, not definitive proof.

But if someone is consistently showing these behaviors, there’s a good chance they’re judging you.

Don’t let this get you down, though.

Use this awareness not as a reason to feel bad about yourself, but as a tool to surround yourself with people who value and respect you for who you are.

Because at the end of the day, that’s what truly matters.