There’s a distinct difference between hearing someone say “I love you” and sensing it through their actions.

This difference, you see, is all about authenticity. Words can be misleading, but actions? They’re the real deal. They show what someone is feeling without them having to say a word.

When someone truly loves you, they’ll often exhibit certain behaviors, even if they never actually utter those three little words. That’s the magic of genuine love – it doesn’t need to be spoken to be felt.

As Lachlan Brown, founder of Hack Spirit and an expert in mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve learned a thing or two about love and human behavior over the years.

And I’m here to share with you eight tell-tale signs that someone truly loves you, beyond just words.

1) They listen with intention

In the realm of love, nothing is more telling than the act of truly listening.

Indeed, when someone loves you – genuinely loves you – they show it through their attentiveness to your words. They don’t just hear you; they listen with intention. This is the art of mindful listening.

Mindful listening is all about being fully present in the conversation, absorbing every word, and exhibiting a genuine interest in what’s being shared. It’s not about planning a response or waiting for your turn to speak. It’s about giving your full attention.

Why? Because when we love someone, their words matter to us. Their stories, their thoughts, their feelings – they’re all pieces of this person we hold dear, and we want to understand them better.

If you find someone always giving you their undivided attention, showing empathy, and providing thoughtful responses to your discussions, it’s a strong sign that they love you – even if they haven’t said it out loud.

Actions speak louder than words. And in this case, their attentive listening can be a powerful declaration of love.

2) They practice patience

Patience is a virtue, as they say. And in love, it’s a clear sign of genuine feelings.

In my years at Hack Spirit and as a student of mindfulness and Buddhism, I’ve come to understand the importance of patience in any relationship. It’s not just about tolerating delays or difficulties, but about showing understanding and grace when things don’t go as planned.

When someone loves you, they’ll be patient with you. They’ll understand your flaws, tolerate your mistakes, and give you time to grow. They won’t rush you or impose their expectations on you.

Why? Because love is about acceptance – not just of the good parts, but also the not-so-good ones.

As the renowned Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh once said, “Patience is the mark of true love. If you truly love someone, you will be more patient with that person.”

3) They practice selflessness

In the world of love, few things scream “I love you” louder than selflessness.

Selflessness is about putting others before yourself. It’s about making sacrifices, big or small, for the sake of someone else’s happiness. And this, my friends, is a key tenet of Buddhism.

Buddhist teachings emphasize the importance of selflessness and compassion towards others. We are encouraged to let go of our ego and serve others with kindness and love.

When someone loves you genuinely, they’ll embody this Buddhist wisdom. They’ll put your needs before their own, not because they’re forced to, but because your happiness brings them joy.

This may come in the form of small gestures like giving up their comfort for yours or bigger sacrifices like compromising their time or resources to make you happy.

It’s raw, it’s honest, and it’s one of the most profound ways someone can show their love for you without saying a word. Love, after all, isn’t just about saying “I love you”; it’s about proving it through actions.

4) They are present in the moment with you

In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to get caught up in our thoughts and worries. But when someone truly loves you, they make a conscious effort to be fully present when they’re with you.

This is where mindfulness comes into play.

Mindfulness is all about being fully engaged in the present moment. It’s about focusing on the here and now, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. It’s about experiencing each moment fully, as it unfolds.

When someone loves you, they’ll practice mindfulness when they’re with you. They won’t be distracted by their phone, their tasks, or their thoughts. Instead, they’ll focus on you and the time you’re spending together.

Because there are few things more comforting than knowing that someone cares enough to put aside everything else and just be with you – fully and completely.

5) They show respect for your personal growth

Respect is a fundamental component of any relationship, and in love, it’s absolutely critical.

When someone genuinely loves you, they’ll respect your personal growth. They’ll understand that you’re on a unique journey and that you need space and time to evolve. They won’t try to change you or fit you into their mold; instead, they’ll celebrate your individuality and support your growth.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve deeper into the concept of personal growth in the context of love and relationships. I explore how true love encourages growth rather than stifling it, and how it respects the individuality of each person involved.

If someone is consistently supportive of your personal growth and respects your journey, it’s a strong sign that they love you. It shows that they want the best for you and are willing to stand by you as you evolve – even if they never say “I love you” out loud.

6) They exhibit kindness and compassion

Kindness and compassion are among the most powerful indicators of love. And they’re also fundamental to both Buddhism and mindfulness.

When someone genuinely loves you, they’ll show kindness not just in grand gestures, but in everyday actions. They’ll be considerate, thoughtful, and gentle with you. They’ll show empathy when you’re struggling and celebrate with you when you’re happy.

Compassion is at the heart of Buddhism. It’s about understanding the suffering of others and wanting to alleviate it. In love, this means being there for you in your darkest times, offering comfort, and helping you carry your burdens.

If someone consistently shows kindness and compassion towards you, it’s a strong sign that they love you. They’re expressing their love through their actions – even if they never say it out loud.

7) They value your opinions

In a world where everyone has an opinion, having someone who genuinely values yours is a breath of fresh air.

When someone truly loves you, they’ll respect your thoughts and opinions. They won’t dismiss your ideas or belittle your beliefs. Instead, they’ll listen, they’ll consider, and they’ll engage in meaningful discussions with you.

This kind of mutual respect is essential in any loving relationship. It’s raw, it’s honest, and it’s deeply validating. Because it shows that they not only care about you but also respect your intellect and individuality.

As the famed mindfulness expert Jon Kabat-Zinn once said, “In order to truly meet others with whom we share our lives, we must first meet ourselves.” This means respecting and valuing the opinions of others as much as we do our own.

8) They give you space

This might seem counterintuitive, but giving space is actually a significant sign of love.

When someone truly loves you, they understand the importance of space and solitude. They know that everyone needs time and space to recharge, reflect, and engage in self-care. This is where mindfulness comes in.

Mindfulness teaches us to be aware of our own needs and those of others. It encourages us to respect personal boundaries and understand that everyone has their own unique rhythm.

It’s a subtle yet powerful expression of love. Because it shows that they not only care about your wellbeing but also respect your individuality.

If someone consistently respects your need for space and solitude, it’s a strong sign that they love you – even if they never say it out loud. After all, love is about understanding as much as it is about closeness.

Conclusion

Love is not just about words; it’s about actions, understanding, and respect.

These insights are based on years of studying human behavior, mindfulness, and Buddhism. If you’re interested in delving deeper into these concepts and learning how to live with maximum impact and minimum ego, you might find my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego helpful.

In the end, understanding love’s unspoken language can help us appreciate the genuine love in our lives and guide us in expressing our own love more effectively. Because love is not just about saying “I love you”; it’s about showing it in every action we take.