Navigating human interaction isn’t always straightforward. People often mask their true feelings for the sake of politeness or to avoid conflict.

That’s why it’s so important to read between the lines. If someone finds you difficult, they may not outright tell you. Instead, they’ll likely reveal their feelings through subtle behaviours.

By paying attention to these signs, you can gain insight into how others perceive you, and if necessary, adjust your behaviour accordingly.

Let’s delve into the 10 subtle behaviours people typically display when they find you difficult but aren’t saying it outright.

1) They keep conversations short

When someone finds you difficult, their interaction with you might become noticeably brief.

Human nature often leans towards avoidance when we’re uncomfortable. We tend to limit our engagement with those we find challenging, and this can be reflected in our conversations.

If the person you’re speaking with is consistently giving short responses, avoiding deep topics, or steering towards the end of the conversation, it could be a sign they find you difficult to deal with.

It’s important not to jump to conclusions based on this behaviour alone, as there could be other reasons for their brevity. However, if this pattern continues over time, it might be a subtle cue to reflect on your interaction style.

2) They avoid eye contact

Eye contact can convey so much about a person’s feelings and thoughts. I’ve noticed that when someone is uncomfortable with me or finds me difficult, they often avoid making eye contact.

I recall a time when I was working on a project with a colleague. I noticed over time that he would look everywhere but at me during our discussions. At first, I thought he was just distracted or maybe it was just his way of focusing on what he was saying.

However, it continued over a few weeks and I began to suspect that he was uncomfortable around me. After some honest conversation and reflection on my own behaviour, it turned out that my direct style of communication was making him feel criticised.

This taught me the importance of adjusting my approach to suit different people and situations.

3) They maintain physical distance

Subconsciously, we use physical space as a boundary. If someone tends to keep their distance from you, it might be a sign they find you difficult.

Research in proxemics, the study of human use of space, indicates that most people have four zones of personal space. The intimate zone for close relationships, the personal zone for friends and family, the social zone for acquaintances, and the public zone for strangers.

If someone consistently interacts with you from their social or public zone even when closer interaction would be normal, they might be subtly indicating their discomfort.

Of course, cultural norms and individual preferences play a part in this too, so it’s important to consider these factors before drawing any conclusions.

4) They rarely initiate interaction

If someone finds you difficult, they are unlikely to seek out conversation or interaction with you. This could manifest in various ways, such as them not initiating conversations, not inviting you to social events, or not including you in group activities.

In a work setting, they might communicate with you only when absolutely necessary and might avoid including you in non-essential meetings or discussions.

This behaviour could also be influenced by the person’s personality or other external factors. However, if you notice a consistent pattern of someone not initiating interaction with you, it could indicate that they find you difficult. It might be worth exploring this further in a respectful and open manner.

5) They give non-committal responses

Non-committal responses are often a sign that someone is trying to avoid conflict or discomfort. If someone finds you difficult, they might frequently respond to your ideas or suggestions with vague statements like “maybe,” “we’ll see,” or “I’ll think about it.”

These responses allow them to avoid directly disagreeing or committing to something they’re not comfortable with. It’s a subtle way of maintaining distance without starting a conflict.

If you’re consistently getting non-committal responses from someone, it could be a sign that they’re uncomfortable with the interaction. It might be a good time to consider how you can make the conversation more comfortable for them.

6) They seldom share personal information

We all have stories and experiences we hold close to our hearts. Sharing these with someone is a sign of trust and comfort. But when a person consistently avoids sharing anything personal, it can be a subtle indication of discomfort or difficulty.

I’ve come across people who are naturally reserved, and that’s perfectly okay. But there’s a difference between someone who is generally private and someone who is specifically withholding around you.

If you notice that a person shares personal stories or experiences with others but avoids doing so with you, they might feel uneasy around you.

This could be a sign to reassess your interactions and approach towards this person, ensuring they feel safe and comfortable in your presence.

7) They show signs of stress or discomfort

Body language can tell a lot about how a person is feeling. When someone finds you difficult, they might show signs of stress or discomfort. This could be in the form of fidgeting, looking around, crossing their arms defensively, or even excessive sweating.

I remember a time when I was having a conversation with a friend. She kept fidgeting with her bracelet and glancing around the room. At first, I thought she was just distracted, but then I noticed her clenched jaw and realized she was uncomfortable.

After the conversation, I reflected on what might have made her feel that way and realized I had been overly critical in our discussion. It was a wake-up call for me to be more mindful of the way I communicate.

If you notice signs of stress or discomfort in someone when they’re around you, it could be an indication that they find you difficult.

8) They agree with you excessively

You might think that someone who agrees with everything you say enjoys your company. However, excessive agreement can sometimes indicate the opposite.

If a person always says “yes” to your ideas or never challenges your point of view, they might be trying to avoid conflict or confrontation. This can be a subtle way of keeping interactions with you as smooth and brief as possible, especially if they find you difficult.

Healthy relationships often involve a mix of agreement and disagreement. If someone is constantly agreeing with you without contributing their own thoughts or ideas, it might be time to reflect on the dynamics of your relationship.

9) They display closed body language

Body language is a powerful communicator. It often reveals what words try to hide. If someone finds you difficult, they might display closed body language when interacting with you.

This can include crossing their arms or legs, turning their body away from you, or avoiding direct face-to-face alignment. Such behaviours can indicate a person’s discomfort or desire to protect themselves from a situation they find challenging.

Of course, it’s essential to consider the context and the person’s natural body language habits before drawing conclusions. But if you notice a pattern of closed body language specifically towards you, it could be a sign they find you difficult.

10) They seldom smile or laugh around you

Laughter and smiles are universal signs of comfort and enjoyment. If someone rarely smiles or laughs in your presence, it could indicate that they find the interaction with you challenging.

It’s not about being the funniest person in the room. Genuine smiles and laughter come from feeling at ease and connected with another person. If these are missing during your interactions with someone, it might be a subtle sign that they find you difficult.

Everyone has off days, and not everyone expresses joy in the same way. But consistent lack of positive expressions might be a signal worth paying attention to.