There’s a thin line between being assertive and being self-centered, and it often comes to light in the most mundane situations.

Case in point: coffee shops.

You see, there are certain behaviors that speak volumes about a person’s character, even while they’re just ordering their morning brew.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying we should judge people too quickly, but there are some tell-tale signs that you’re dealing with someone quite self-centered.

Let’s delve into these 7 things people do at coffee shops that could give them away.

1) They’re always in a rush

Ever seen someone storm into a coffee shop, cutting the queue and demanding immediate service?

Yes, we all have busy lives and tight schedules. But there’s something about people who habitually behave as if their time is more important than everyone else’s.

This ‘hurry up and serve me’ attitude can be quite telling. It screams ‘I’m more important’, a classic trait of someone quite self-centered.

Remember, being assertive is good, but disrespecting other people’s time under the guise of being in a hurry? That’s just plain self-centered.

So next time you see someone ranting about having to wait for their double-shot espresso, you might want to take note.

2) They don’t consider the barista’s feelings

How we treat others, especially those in service roles, can really highlight our character.

I remember once, I was waiting in line at my favorite local coffee shop. The guy in front of me ordered some complicated custom drink. When the barista made a tiny mistake, he didn’t just point it out; he berated her. He belittled her and made her feel insignificant, all over a coffee.

It was clear that he didn’t consider the barista’s feelings at all. In his world, she was there solely to fulfill his needs, regardless of how he treats her.

This lack of empathy for others, particularly those serving us, is a strong sign of self-centeredness. After all, recognizing and respecting another’s feelings is a basic trait of empathy and humility – traits often missing in self-centered people.

3) They speak loudly on their phone

Ever notice how the volume of a conversation seems to increase when someone’s on a phone call? It’s not just your imagination.

A study found that people tend to speak 1 to 2 decibels louder when they’re on the phone compared to normal face-to-face conversation. That might not sound like much, but when you’re in the confined space of a coffee shop, it can feel like a lot more.

But here’s the catch. Self-centered individuals often disregard this social etiquette. They engage in loud, long phone conversations, oblivious or indifferent to the disturbance they’re causing others in the coffee shop.

This disregard for others’ comfort and peace hints at a self-centered mindset. They prioritize their own needs and wants, often at the expense of those around them.

4) They leave their table messier than they found it

Cleaning up after oneself is a basic courtesy, especially in shared spaces like coffee shops.

But some individuals not only disregard this, they leave their table in a state that would make a toddler proud. Discarded wrappers, spilled coffee, crumbs scattered all over the table – it’s a sight that’s all too familiar.

This behavior sends a clear message: ‘I’m done here, someone else can clean up after me’. It shows a lack of consideration for the staff who will have to clean up the mess, as well as for the next patron who will use the table.

This lack of respect for shared spaces and the people who use them is a common trait among self-centered individuals. They’re often more focused on their own convenience than the impact of their actions on others.

5) They never tip

Tipping is a way of showing appreciation for good service. While it’s not mandatory in every culture or country, it’s generally seen as a kind gesture.

I’ll be honest, there was a time when I didn’t understand the importance of tipping. I thought it was just an extra cost. But then I worked as a waiter during my summer break from college, and it completely changed my perspective.

I realized that tips often make up a significant portion of the income for many service workers, including baristas. But more than the monetary aspect, it’s about acknowledging their hard work and effort.

When someone consistently avoids tipping, even when they’ve received good service, it makes me wonder if they’re more focused on keeping their money than appreciating the person who served them.

In my experience, this lack of gratitude and value for others’ efforts can often point to a self-centered nature.

6) They demand special treatment

We all like to feel special sometimes. But there’s a difference between enjoying occasional perks and expecting special treatment all the time.

You know the type: they always demand the best seat in the house, even if it’s clearly reserved or occupied. They haggle over prices, insisting on discounts for no valid reason. They expect the barista to remember their complicated custom order, even during rush hour.

While it’s perfectly okay to have preferences, expecting special treatment at every turn suggests a sense of entitlement. It indicates that they believe their wants and needs are more important than others’.

This sense of entitlement or superiority is a classic sign of self-centered behavior. They often fail to realize that everyone in the coffee shop, including them, should be treated equally and fairly.

7) They lack patience

Patience is a virtue, especially in public spaces like coffee shops. There’s often a wait involved, whether it’s for your order or for a free table.

But some people seem to have missed this memo. They tap their foot impatiently, huff and puff at the slightest delay, or constantly check their watch as if to remind everyone of their precious time.

This lack of patience is more than just annoying; it’s a clear indicator of self-centeredness. It suggests they feel their time is more valuable than anyone else’s and that everyone should cater to their pace.

Remember: coffee shops are shared spaces. A little patience goes a long way in maintaining harmony and respect for all.