If someone displays these 9 subtle behaviors, they’re not a trustworthy person

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | September 16, 2024, 12:16 pm

There’s a fine line between being cautious and being paranoid when it comes to trusting people.

In the end, it really boils down to recognizing the subtle signs that someone might not be as trustworthy as they seem.

We’re not talking about overtly shady behavior here, but rather small, often overlooked actions that can reveal a person’s true character.

In this article, we’ll explore nine of these telltale signs that someone might not be worth your trust.

So keep reading because understanding these behaviors could save you a lot of heartache down the line.

And remember, the goal isn’t to make you suspicious of everyone you meet — it’s just to help you protect yourself better.

1) They’re inconsistent

Reliability is a cornerstone of trust, and nothing undermines it faster than inconsistency.

We’ve all encountered those people who say one thing and do another, or who behave differently depending on who’s watching.

It can be frustrating and confusing, to say the least.

But here’s the thing: consistency is more than just an admirable trait – it’s a telltale sign of a trustworthy person.

Inconsistency, on the other hand, is a red flag.

It’s not about expecting perfection from people, but rather noticing patterns of erratic behavior.

If someone consistently fails to follow through on their words or can’t seem to maintain a steady course of action, you might want to think twice before placing your trust in them.

Actions speak louder than words.

And consistent actions speak volumes about a person’s character.

2) They’re quick to place blame

In my experience, finger-pointing is a clear indicator that someone might not be the most trustworthy.

Let me share a personal anecdote – I once had a friend, let’s call her Jane.

Jane was always quick to blame others whenever something went wrong, even when it was clear that she was at fault.

Once we were working on a joint project and missed a crucial deadline.

The fault was shared, but Jane was quick to pin the entire blame on me.

This wasn’t a one-off incident, she had a pattern of deflecting blame and never taking responsibility for her actions.

Over time, it became clear to me that Jane wasn’t someone I could trust.

She was more interested in protecting her image than in maintaining our friendship or being honest about her mistakes.

3) They’re secretive about the details

When someone is consistently vague or evasive about the specifics of their stories or day-to-day life, it can be a sign of deception.

When people lie, they tend to be less specific in their stories and avoid providing too much detail.

This is because creating a lie involves making up a story that doesn’t exist, which is mentally taxing.

As a result, the liar usually sticks to vague descriptions and avoids delving into specifics that could trip them up.

So if someone you know has a consistent habit of skirting around the details, you might want to question their trustworthiness.

After all, honesty is often found in the details.

4) They break promises

Trust is built on the foundation of kept promises.

So when someone consistently breaks their promises, it’s a clear sign that they may not be as trustworthy as you’d like.

Whether it’s forgetting to call when they said they would, constantly canceling plans at the last minute, or not following through on bigger commitments, these broken promises erode trust over time.

It’s important to remember that everyone can forget or slip up occasionally.

But if it becomes a pattern, it’s a red flag.

A trustworthy person values their commitments and makes a sincere effort to honor them.

5) They avoid eye contact

Eye contact plays a crucial role in human communication.

It’s often seen as a sign of honesty and sincerity.

When someone consistently avoids making eye contact, it can indicate that they’re uncomfortable or hiding something.

Now, it’s important to note that cultural differences can play a big role here.

In some cultures, direct eye contact can be seen as aggressive or disrespectful.

However, if you’re dealing with someone from a culture where maintaining eye contact is the norm, their avoidance of it could be a sign of untrustworthiness.

A person who is genuine and trustworthy will generally maintain a comfortable level of eye contact during conversations.

6) They gossip

There’s an old saying that goes, “Those who gossip to you will gossip about you.”

It’s a sentiment I’ve found to be painfully true.

Gossiping is not just a bad habit, it’s a breach of trust.

When someone constantly shares the secrets of others with you, it’s a stark reminder that they could just as easily share your secrets with others.

A trustworthy person understands the value of confidentiality.

They respect the privacy of others and refrain from spreading rumors or revealing sensitive information.

So if you’re dealing with someone who loves to gossip, consider it a warning sign about their trustworthiness.

Trust isn’t just about believing that someone won’t betray you; it’s also about knowing that they respect you and your privacy.

7) They consistently withhold information

I’ve found over the years that trust is built on openness and honesty.

When someone consistently withholds information – big or small – it can seed doubt and insecurity.

There was a time when I worked closely with a colleague who would often keep information to himself, even when it was clearly beneficial to share.

It wasn’t about sensitive or confidential data; it was often simple stuff, like updates on projects or changes in deadlines.

This lack of transparency didn’t just create practical issues in our workflow; it also raised questions about his trustworthiness.

If he withheld such innocuous information, what else was he keeping to himself?

Trustworthy people believe in open communication.

They share what needs to be shared and understand that withholding information can erode trust over time.

8) They have a history of deceit

A person’s past behavior is often a good predictor of their future actions.

If someone has a history of lying or cheating, it’s a major red flag for their trustworthiness.

Now, it’s important to remember that people can change.

Past mistakes don’t necessarily define a person’s character forever.

But if someone repeatedly engages in deceitful behavior without showing remorse or making efforts to change, it’s a clear sign that they may not be trustworthy.

Trustworthy people understand the value of honesty and the harm that lies can cause.

They strive to be honest and transparent in all their dealings, even when it’s hard.

9) They lack empathy

At the heart of trustworthiness is empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

Without empathy, it’s impossible to build meaningful, trusting relationships.

If someone consistently shows a lack of empathy – dismissing your feelings, showing indifference when you’re upset, or failing to consider how their actions might affect you – it’s an indicator that they may not be a trustworthy person.

Trustworthy people care about how their actions impact others.

They listen, they sympathize, and they make efforts to understand your perspective.

Empathy isn’t a skill everyone possesses, but it’s a core trait in those we can truly trust.

Trust is a two-way street

The essence of trust is reciprocal – it’s not just about evaluating others, but also about reflecting on our own behavior.

Just as we look for signs of trustworthiness in others, we must also strive to display those qualities ourselves.

Honesty, consistency, empathy – these are all traits we should aim to embody.

In the words of Albert Einstein, “Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.”

So as we navigate the complexities of human relationships, let’s remember that being a trustworthy person is just as important as finding one.

It’s a journey that starts within ourselves, and it’s a journey well worth taking.