There’s a subtle art to picking up on envy. It’s wrapped up in little signs, and hidden behaviors that can often be overlooked. But once you start paying attention, you’ll start to see it.

Envy isn’t always as obvious as we think. It’s not just about wanting what someone else has. Sometimes, it’s about wishing they didn’t have it.

I’ve spent years observing these patterns as a relationship expert, and I’ve identified seven behaviors that are telltale signs of envy.

If someone’s displaying these, there’s a good chance they’re harboring some green-eyed feelings towards you. And by recognizing these signs, you’ll be better equipped to navigate those tricky emotional waters.

But don’t worry, there’s always a way to handle this situation with grace and empathy. And it all starts with understanding these seven behaviors. So buckle up and let’s dive in.

1) Unnecessary comparisons

We all engage in it to some extent—comparing ourselves to others is just part of human nature. However, when someone consistently pits themselves or others against you, it could be a sign of envy.

Envy often reveals itself through comparisons. You might hear remarks like “You’re so lucky, I wish I could…” or “I don’t know how you manage everything.” These comments might seem like compliments at first glance, but they actually stem from a place of comparison.

The person feeling envious might not even realize they’re doing it. It’s almost as if they’re using you as a mirror to reflect their own insecurities or shortcomings.

When you notice this recurring pattern from someone, there’s a chance they’re grappling with feelings of envy.  

2) Excessive praise

Now, this might sound a bit odd. After all, isn’t praise a good thing? Well, yes, but sometimes it can be a mask for envy.

When someone is constantly showering you with compliments, it might seem like they’re genuinely happy for you. And often, they are. But in some cases, excessive praise can be a way of coping with their own feelings of envy.

It’s like they’re overcompensating for their internal struggle by being overly enthusiastic about your achievements. They might even go out of their way to sing your praises to others.

Don’t get me wrong, compliments are wonderful. But when they start to feel excessive or insincere, it might be a sign that the other person is dealing with some pent-up envy.  

3) Sudden interest in your life

It’s always nice to have someone take an interest in your life. But sometimes, an increase in curiosity can indicate feelings of envy.

When a person is envious, they often become more interested in your life. They want to know what you’re doing, who you’re with, and how you’re achieving your success. It’s as if they’re trying to find a secret formula or a hidden shortcut.

I’ve seen this play out countless times, and I even discuss it in my book “Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.”

It’s important to remember that this curiosity isn’t always driven by malicious intent. Sometimes, it’s simply a manifestation of their own insecurities or dreams.

But if you notice someone suddenly showing an increased interest in your life and activities, it might be a sign they’re grappling with feelings of envy.

4) Diminishing your achievements

We all enjoy sharing our successes with others. However, if you consistently notice someone undermining or belittling your achievements, it may indicate envy.

Envy often leads people to downplay others’ successes. The remarks may be subtle, such as “Oh, anyone could have done that” or “You just got lucky,” but they intend to diminish your accomplishments.

Having experienced such comments myself, I can attest that it’s not a pleasant experience. It can lead to self-doubt and questioning your achievements.

As Eleanor Roosevelt wisely said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” So, if someone is continually trying to minimize your successes, remember that it’s more about their own feelings of envy than it is about you or your accomplishments.

5) Evasiveness around your success

Have you ever noticed a friend or colleague swiftly changing the subject whenever you share something positive that happened to you? This could be a sign of concealed envy.

When someone feels envious, it can be challenging for them to hear about your successes. It’s not that they don’t care about you, but rather that your achievements might trigger feelings of inadequacy or failure in comparison.

I’ve observed this behavior many times—subtle shifts in conversation, sudden topic changes—all indicating discomfort around your success. It’s not personal, but it does indicate they’re grappling with envy.

Keep in mind, that recognizing these signs is the first step in understanding and effectively navigating these complex emotions.

6) They’re competitive

Being competitive isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can drive us to be better and achieve more. But when someone is constantly trying to one-up you, it might be a sign of envy.

Envious people often feel the need to prove they’re just as good as, if not better than, you are. They’ll turn everything into a competition, always looking for ways to outdo you.

I’ve seen this dynamic play out numerous times. The need to constantly prove oneself can be exhausting and it’s often rooted in feelings of envy.

As Theodore Roosevelt wisely said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” So, when you notice someone constantly turning things into a competition, it could be a sign that they’re comparing themselves to you out of envy.

For more insights and advice on navigating relationships and understanding emotions, make sure to follow me on my Facebook page. I regularly share my latest articles and thoughts there.

7) They’re not there during your success

One of the most heart-wrenching signs of envy is when someone you care about isn’t there to celebrate your successes with you.

Envy can hinder people from genuinely sharing in others’ happiness. If someone suddenly becomes distant or disappears when things are going well for you, it could be a sign that they’re grappling with envy.

It’s a tough reality to accept, especially when it’s someone you expect to be supportive. But it’s crucial to recognize that their absence doesn’t diminish your achievement; rather, it reflects their struggle with envy.

Confronting this truth can be painful, yet it’s an essential step in understanding the complexities of human emotions and navigating relationships effectively.

Understanding envy: An insightful conclusion

In essence, envy is a complex emotion that’s part of being human. It can be subtle and show up in ways that are easy to miss or misunderstand. 

Just to be clear: Recognizing signs of envy isn’t meant to judge others—it aims to understand human emotions to navigate relationships better.”

With that in mind, I’d like to share a video by Justin Brown that fits well with our discussion. In the video, he explores the complexities of finding a life partner and shares valuable insights from his own experiences. I think it will deepen your understanding of our topic.

Beyond recognizing signs of envy in others, it’s crucial to cultivate empathy, understanding, and compassion. After all, we’re all navigating this complex web of emotions together.