In a society that’s constantly chasing happiness, if you’re someone who’s struggling with misery, it can seem like no one really gets you.

More often than not, people might mistake your unhappiness for being cold or aloof.

In fact, chances are you’ve been called a pessimist more times than you’d like to recall.

Does this sound familiar?

If it does, keep reading for the 10 behaviors that suggest you’re not just being negative—you’re actually quite miserable in life.

1) They isolate themselves

One telltale sign that someone’s quite miserable in life is when they choose to isolate themselves.

They find comfort in their own company, not because it brings them joy, but because it shields them from the pain that interactions with others might bring.

Moreover, they use this isolation as a way to cope with their inner turmoil after a day filled with social interactions that they find more exhausting than revitalizing.

Sadly, their choice of isolation can often be misinterpreted as being standoffish or indifferent.

People might perceive them as cold or aloof due to this behavior, but that’s far from what’s really happening.

They retreat into isolation not because they despise socializing, but because they are burdened by the weight of their emotional struggles.

2) They constantly dwell on negative thoughts

I remember a time in my life when I was going through a particularly rough patch.

I found myself perpetually stuck in a loop of negativity, always focusing on what was going wrong instead of appreciating what was going right.

Just like my experience, people battling with misery often struggle with this overwhelming negativity.

It’s not that they enjoy being pessimistic.

It’s just that their current state of misery makes it hard for them to see anything positive.

And again, this can be easily misunderstood by others.

They might come off as perennial complainers or party poopers, but the truth is, they’re just trying to navigate through their sea of negative thoughts.

3) They have a reduced interest in activities they once loved

Did you know the technical term for this is ‘anhedonia‘? It’s a common symptom among people dealing with depression and other mood disorders.

This can range from hobbies, social events, and even simple everyday pleasures.

A person who once loved painting or playing music may suddenly find no joy in these activities.

Someone who used to thrive in social gatherings might start avoiding them altogether.

This change in behavior can be confusing and frustrating for their loved ones who may not understand why they’ve stopped participating in activities they used to love.

It’s not that they’ve suddenly become lazy or indifferent – it’s just that their current state of misery has robbed them of the ability to experience pleasure from things they used to enjoy.

4) They struggle with sleep

This can manifest in various ways – some might find it difficult to fall asleep, while others might sleep too much.

Both extremes reflect a disturbance in their normal sleep pattern, indicating that something’s not quite right.

It’s not unusual for these individuals to toss and turn at night, ruminating over their worries and fears.

On the other hand, they might use sleep as an escape mechanism, preferring the oblivion of sleep over facing their reality.

This disruption in their sleep routine not only signals their emotional distress but also contributes to it, creating a vicious cycle that’s hard to break free from. 

People may mistake them for simply being insomniacs or oversleepers, but in reality, their erratic sleep patterns are a reflection of the turmoil they’re experiencing within.

5) They’re always tired, even when they’ve had enough sleep

They’re always tired, even when they’ve slept enough.

It’s not just physical tiredness—it’s a deep, emotional exhaustion that sleep can’t cure.

Their minds are in a constant state of overdrive, grappling with negative thoughts, self-doubt, and fear.

They might appear lazy or unmotivated to others.

But the truth is, they’re fighting an invisible battle every day. 

A battle that drains them of their energy and leaves them feeling perpetually exhausted.

People might often mistake this constant fatigue for laziness or lack of ambition.

However, it’s not that they don’t want to be active or productive—it’s just that their emotional struggles are draining them of the energy they need to function effectively.

6) They’re overly self-critical

Every mistake they make, no matter how small, becomes a monumental failure in their eyes.

They hold themselves to impossibly high standards and relentlessly berate themselves when they fall short.

What others may dismiss as simple errors or minor flaws, they magnify into evidence of their unworthiness or incompetence.

But it’s crucial to remember that this is not a fair reflection of their true worth or capability.

Their self-criticism is not an accurate measure of who they are—it’s a distorted view shaped by their current state of misery. 

They need understanding, patience, and kindness from those around them to help them navigate through this challenging phase.

7) They struggle with decision-making

Have you ever found yourself standing in the grocery aisle, overwhelmed by the simple task of choosing a box of cereal?

For some, this decision paralysis can be a daily reality.

They might find it hard to make even the simplest decisions, like what to wear or what to eat.

This isn’t because they’re indecisive by nature.

It’s because their current emotional state clouds their judgment and makes even the smallest decisions seem insurmountable.

This struggle often extends to bigger life decisions as well, leaving them feeling stuck and helpless.

People around them might mistake this indecisiveness for lack of conviction or purpose.

But it’s not about a lack of will—it’s about the overwhelming sense of uncertainty that their misery brings.

It’s like standing at a crossroads with no signs, unsure which path to take.

It’s an experience many of us can relate to at some point in our lives, and it’s all the more challenging when one is dealing with extreme unhappiness.

8) They have an unusual relationship with food

For some, comfort eating becomes the order of the day, as they turn to food for solace.

Their misery might lead to late-night fridge raids, or a sudden affinity for anything sugary or deep-fried.

On the other hand, some might lose their appetite altogether.

Food becomes a chore rather than a pleasure, something they do out of necessity rather than enjoyment.

Now, it’s important to remember that we all have our off days when it comes to food.

Who hasn’t had a midnight ice cream binge or skipped a meal when feeling down?

But when these patterns become more frequent and start affecting one’s overall health and wellbeing, it might be an indication of underlying despair. 

It’s not just about having a sweet tooth or being too busy to eat—it’s a sign of emotional distress that needs addressing.

9) They’re constantly irritable

Their patience wears thin, and they seem to be constantly on edge.

Even the smallest things can set them off, leading to outbursts that seem disproportionate to the situation at hand.

This isn’t because they’re naturally hot-tempered or mean-spirited. 

It’s because their emotional reservoir is running on empty, and they’re struggling to keep a lid on their frustrations.

Now, it’s easy to dismiss them as being difficult or prickly.

But here’s the hard truth: they’re not just being touchy—they’re crying out for help in their own way.

Their irritability is not a character flaw—it’s a cry for understanding and support. 

As tough as it may be, it’s crucial to respond with patience and empathy, rather than react with annoyance or anger.

10) They’ve lost their sense of hope

Hope is what fuels us, what keeps us going even when the odds are stacked against us.

But for someone drowning in sorrow, this beacon of hope seems to have dimmed.

They struggle to see a brighter future or believe that things will get better.

This isn’t because they’re naturally pessimistic. It’s because their current state of misery has clouded their vision and made the future seem bleak.

This loss of hope is not an indication of their weakness—it’s a reflection of the depth of their struggle.

They need reassurance, support, and most importantly, they need to know that it’s okay to reach out for help.

Final thoughts

It can be tough to recognize when someone is truly miserable in life.

They may be seen as moody, negative, or even weak, but this is simply because society often fails to understand the complexity of human emotions—especially those that don’t fall within the ‘norm’.

So if you know someone who displays these behaviors, remember—they’re not just being difficult or overly sensitive.

They’re grappling with a deep sense of sadness that’s hard for them to express.

And if you recognize these signs within yourself, understand that it’s okay to feel this way and it’s okay to seek help.

There’s no shame in struggling, and there’s no greater strength than acknowledging your own pain and taking steps to heal.

Remember, everyone has their battles.

It’s how we choose to fight them, and how we support others in their fights, that truly defines us.