Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, whether personal or professional. 

As empathetic humans, trust is our currency. We are open with our feelings, cooperate to help things run smoothly, and wish the people around us well in life. Simply, we trust in being honest to make things better. 

Yet, not everyone operates with the same intentions. 

Some people are wired for dishonesty and sadly, that behaviour is fueled by manipulative tendencies. 

Learning to detect signs of manipulation is vital to ensure your relationships are built on honesty, openness, and reliability. 

Here are 5 behaviours that help detect if someone is a dishonest person.

1) They exaggerate their achievements 

One prominent sign of potential dishonesty is the chronic exaggeration of personal accomplishments. 

That’s because people prone to dishonesty often inflate their achievements to create a false image of superiority or competence. 

For example, if you tell them you plan to go to Bali, their response is they have already been seven times. Instead of congratulating you on your new job, they talk about how important their role is and how much they earn. 

That’s because dishonest and manipulative people exaggerate to feel grandiose, manipulate situations, and maintain a sense of power over you. These people have an inflated sense of their importance and a need for constant admiration. 

Of course, when someone exaggerates, you notice something is disingenuous about the conversation—and their personality.

Pay attention if you meet someone who often talks up their abilities and contributions. Your feelings may be a sign someone is trying to manipulate your emotions.

2) They are deceptively charming

A similarly nuanced behaviour is seen in those who present a facade of charisma and confidence to people they first meet. 

Deceptively charming people often employ charisma as a tool for manipulation. 

For example, they effortlessly charm everyone at a party, talk about work and mutual friends, and appear interested in other’s achievements. However, later, you discover they engaged in conversation only to further their career and gain introductions to certain contacts. 

These dishonest people understand the power of first impressions. They use charm to gain trust and cooperation from unsuspecting individuals, which makes it easier to influence and control situations. 

Genuine charm is rooted in uplifting others, while deceptive charm serves as a means to an end. 

Pay attention to inconsistencies in their behaviour, and trust your instincts—especially if their words seem too good to be true. 

Being cautious in your interactions can help you navigate relationships more effectively and protect yourself from potential manipulation.

3) They talk about people behind their backs

Just as surface charm is used to conceal hidden agendas, a dishonest person will adapt their personality to whomever they are talking to, even if it means talking negatively about individuals behind their backs. 

Dishonest individuals engage in gossip or speak negatively about others behind their backs to manipulate opinions, create discord, or gain an advantage in specific situations. 

For instance, in a group of friends, Thomas wants to appear more reliable. He subtly suggests to Sarah that Jack is forgetful. He also expresses concern to Jack about Sarah’s reliability. By talking behind their backs, Thomas aims to position himself as the most dependable friend, manipulating perceptions for personal gain. 

This deceptive behaviour involves tailoring their conversations to suit the listener, creating an illusion of trust and camaraderie. 

That’s why you should be wary of those who share unflattering information about others. Be cautious in forming judgments based solely on what you hear from such individuals, as their words may be part of a calculated strategy to manipulate perceptions.

4) They have a selective memory

Ironically, dishonest people can meticulously remember misleading narratives about others but resort to the art of selective memory when facing their own accountability. 

This deceptive behaviour involves tailoring their recollections to downplay their role in any negative situation, creating an illusion of innocence and deflecting responsibility. 

For example, you point out your partner’s pattern of regularly being late to your dates. When confronted, this partner employs selective memory. They selectively forget all the occasions they have let you down, insisting there are one or two isolated incidents. 

This use of selective memory aims to downplay the recurring problem, deflect responsibility, and maintain a facade of innocence in the relationship. 

By conveniently forgetting or selectively remembering details, they manipulate the narrative to suit their interests, altering your narrative and disregarding your feelings. 

5) They have a lack of empathy

Ultimately, this innate motivation to manipulate perceptions is a lack of empathy. 

Dishonest individuals often exhibit a marked absence of genuine concern or understanding for the feelings and experiences of others. 

For instance, imagine sharing your sadness with your friend about not being able to travel to see your sick Grandma. Instead of acknowledging your feelings, the so-called friend dismisses your concerns with a casual comment like, “You’ll get over it; you never see her much anyway.”

By downplaying your relationship with your Grandma, the dishonest friend manipulates the narrative, minimises your feelings and fails to provide the understanding and support you were seeking. 

This consistent lack of empathy serves as a revealing marker of dishonesty. Those who lack empathy prioritise personal gain over the feelings and needs of others, contributing to a self-centred focus. 

Recognising this is crucial in protecting yourself from potential manipulation in various relationships.

The truth will set you free

Understanding the behaviours associated with dishonesty is a powerful tool for personal growth and relationship well-being. 

By empowering yourself with practical insights, you can navigate relationships with a heightened awareness of potential dishonesty. Understand the importance of setting boundaries and promoting open communication to safeguard against deceptive actions.