There’s a fine line between being emotionally savvy and being an emotional manipulator.

The difference? Intent. An emotional manipulator uses their understanding of emotions to alter others’ decisions for their own gain, often without them noticing.

Being emotionally intelligent, however, means understanding and using emotions in a positive way to communicate effectively and empathetically.

Some people are incredibly skilled at manipulating emotions, and they have certain behaviors that give them away.

Read on to discover the 9 tell-tale signs that someone is a master at manipulating emotions.

1) They always play the victim

In the realm of emotional manipulation, playing the victim is a commonly used card.

Emotional manipulators are experts at turning situations around. They have a knack for making themselves appear as the innocent party, despite being responsible for the situation in the first place.

The purpose? To evoke sympathy and guilt. These two emotions can be incredibly powerful in influencing others’ actions and decisions in their favor.

It’s akin to a psychological sleight of hand – the focus is shifted from their actions to their supposed hardships.

So if you notice someone consistently portraying themselves as the victim, regardless of the situation, beware. They might just be a master at manipulating emotions. 

2) They’re masters of guilt trips

Ever been in a situation where you felt cornered into doing something you didn’t want to, just out of guilt? I have, and it’s not pleasant.

I once had a friend who was exceptionally skilled at this. Every time we’d have a disagreement, he’d find a way to make me feel guilty, even when he was clearly in the wrong. He’d say things like, “After all I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me?”

In retrospect, it’s clear as daylight that he was using guilt to manipulate my emotions and sway my decisions. It was a clever tactic because guilt is a powerful motivator. It can make us do things we wouldn’t normally consider.

Manipulators know this and use it to their advantage. So if you find someone frequently making you feel guilty to get their way, chances are they’re adept at emotional manipulation.

3) They’re quick to assign blame

Emotional manipulators have an uncanny ability to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. Instead, they’re quick to point the finger at others.

In psychology, this is referred to as “projection” – a defense mechanism where individuals attribute their own unacceptable thoughts, feelings, or motives to another person.

This redirection of blame not only allows them to maintain a positive self-image but also keeps others on the defensive. The constant blame game leaves little room for you to question their actions or motives, as you’re too busy defending your own.

This blame shifting is a subtle yet powerful way of manipulating emotions and controlling situations.

4) They use your insecurities against you

We all have our insecurities and fears, and most of us prefer to keep them private. However, an emotional manipulator will not only discover these but use them against you.

They’re skilled at identifying your weaknesses and exploiting them to their advantage. It could be as subtle as a backhanded compliment or as overt as blatant criticism.

The intent is to undermine your confidence and self-esteem, making you more susceptible to their influence. When you’re constantly second-guessing yourself, they can easily steer situations in their favor.

So, if someone consistently highlights your insecurities or uses them to belittle you, be aware. You might be dealing with an emotional manipulator.

5) They’re experts at gaslighting

Gaslighting is a psychological manipulation tactic where a person makes someone else question their own reality, memory, or perceptions.

An emotional manipulator using gaslighting might deny that certain events ever occurred or dismiss your feelings as overreactions. They might assert that you’re misunderstanding the situation or remembering things wrong.

The goal? To make you question your judgment and perception, making you more dependent on them for what’s “real” or “true”. It’s a powerful manipulation tool that can leave you feeling disoriented and confused.

So if you often find yourself doubting your memory or questioning your sanity around a particular person, it could be a sign of gaslighting – and they might just be a master at manipulating emotions.

6) They invalidate your feelings

We all yearn to be understood, especially in times of emotional distress. It’s human nature to seek validation for our feelings and experiences.

However, an emotional manipulator often dismisses or invalidates your feelings. They might tell you that you’re overreacting, being too sensitive, or just plain wrong about how you feel.

This dismissal of your emotions can be incredibly hurtful. It can make you feel unheard and insignificant, and it’s designed to do just that. By making you feel small, they maintain control and keep you in a vulnerable state.

Remember, your feelings are valid and deserve to be heard. If someone consistently belittles or dismisses your emotions, they might be using manipulation tactics.

7) They give you the silent treatment

Communication is key in any relationship, be it personal or professional. But what happens when someone deliberately withholds communication to assert control?

I remember a time when my partner and I had a disagreement. Instead of discussing it and reaching a resolution, they chose to give me the silent treatment. For days, I was met with cold indifference, despite my attempts to mend things.

This silent treatment was more than just a refusal to communicate. It was a way to manipulate and control the situation, making me feel guilty and anxious.

If you’ve experienced something similar, where someone uses silence as a weapon, know that it’s a form of emotional manipulation. The intent is to make you feel uncomfortable enough to give in to their demands or views.

8) They’re always right

No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes. But an emotional manipulator? They’re never wrong.

They have an uncanny ability to twist and turn every conversation to avoid admitting fault. They might use logical fallacies, change the subject, or even resort to personal attacks to deflect blame.

This insistence on always being right is about maintaining control and superiority. By refusing to admit their mistakes, they keep you on the back foot, constantly doubting yourself.

So if someone refuses to acknowledge their faults and instead insists on their infallibility, be cautious. It’s a classic sign of emotional manipulation.

9) They make you feel indebted

Emotional manipulators have a knack for making you feel like you owe them. They’ll remind you of their good deeds or favors, even the smallest ones, and expect something in return.

This calculated generosity is not about kindness; it’s a method of creating a sense of obligation. By making you feel indebted, they gain leverage to control your actions and decisions.

Remember, genuine acts of kindness don’t come with strings attached. If someone constantly reminds you of what they’ve done for you and expects reciprocation on their terms, it’s a red flag. It could indicate that they’re using emotional manipulation to keep you in their grasp.