We all know that one person who just seems to drain our energy. It’s not always easy to pinpoint why, but some behaviors are definitely more exhausting than others.

The difference between an energizing and an exhausting person often comes down to patterns. If someone consistently does certain things, they can quickly become tiring to be around.

We’re going to explore 8 specific behaviors that tend to be particularly draining. And remember, we all have our moments, but if someone is consistently doing these things, they might just be an exhausting person to be around.

So, are you ready to find out what makes a person exhausting? Let’s dive in.

1) They’re constantly negative

Negativity can be a major energy drain.

We all have our bad days, and it’s completely normal to vent or complain from time to time. But when someone is continually negative, it can start to take a toll on those around them.

Negativity breeds more negativity. It’s like a snowball effect. The more someone complains or focuses on the bad, the more it seems to grow.

When you’re around someone who always sees the glass as half empty, it can be exhausting trying to maintain a positive outlook.

This doesn’t mean you have to avoid all negative people, but if someone is constantly negative without making any effort to change their perspective or situation, they might just be an exhausting person to be around.

Remember, it’s one thing to support a friend through a tough time. It’s another thing entirely to be dragged down by someone’s constant negativity.

2) They monopolize conversations

We’ve all had those conversations where it feels like we’re just a sounding board for the other person. It’s something I’ve personally experienced and it can be incredibly draining.

I remember a friend I used to have who would constantly turn the conversation back to herself. Whether we were discussing movies, work, or even my own personal issues, she’d somehow find a way to make it about her.

It felt like I was just there to listen, not to participate in a two-way conversation. And let me tell you, it got tiring pretty quickly.

Conversations should be about give and take. If someone is always dominating the discussion, never letting you get a word in or showing interest in your thoughts and feelings, it can leave you feeling unheard and unimportant.

So, if you notice that someone is consistently monopolizing conversations without showing any interest in what you have to say, they might be an exhausting person to be around.

3) They’re constantly late

Time is a valuable resource, and when someone is perpetually late, it can feel like they’re not respecting your time.

According to a study by San Francisco State University, about 17% of people are chronically late. They found that for some people, being late is a part of their personality, often linked to optimism and unrealistic expectations about how much they can fit into their schedule.

But regardless of the reasons behind it, when someone is consistently late for meetings, appointments, or social events, it can become exhausting. The waiting and the uncertainty can take a toll on your own schedule and peace of mind.

So if you’re often left waiting because someone can’t seem to manage their time effectively, that person could be an exhausting one to be around.

4) They’re always playing the victim

Life throws curveballs at everyone. But how we react to these challenges says a lot about our character. If someone continually plays the victim, blaming others or external circumstances for their problems without taking any personal responsibility, it can be really exhausting to be around them.

Playing the victim is a way of avoiding responsibility and passing the blame onto others. It’s a refusal to acknowledge one’s role in their own life events, good or bad.

It can be draining to listen to someone who always sees themselves as the victim, because it often comes with a lack of action to change their circumstances. They’re more focused on blaming others than on finding solutions.

If someone consistently refuses to take responsibility for their actions and instead plays the victim, they may be an exhausting person to be around.

5) They never acknowledge your achievements

There’s something special about sharing your achievements with others, especially with those you’re close to. It’s a way of celebrating life’s little victories and milestones together.

Unfortunately, not everyone is able to share in your joy. If someone consistently brushes off your achievements or fails to acknowledge them, it can feel like they’re dismissing your efforts or belittling your accomplishments.

Being around someone who can’t genuinely celebrate your successes can be disheartening and exhausting. It can dampen your own joy and make you feel like you’re not being seen or appreciated.

In a healthy relationship, both parties should be able to celebrate each other’s victories, no matter how big or small. If someone can’t do that for you, they might be an exhausting person to be around.

6) They’re always critical

Constructive criticism can be helpful. It’s how we learn and grow. But there’s a big difference between constructive criticism and constant, unnecessary critiques.

I once knew someone who would always find something to criticize. Whether it was my choice of clothes, my career decisions, or even the way I spoke. It felt like nothing I did was ever good enough for them.

Being around that kind of constant criticism can make you start doubting yourself and your abilities. It can chip away at your self-esteem and leave you feeling drained and defeated.

If someone is always finding faults without offering any positive or constructive feedback, they might be an exhausting person to be around.

7) They’re excessively needy

Everyone needs help sometimes. And it’s perfectly okay to lean on others when we’re going through a tough time. But if someone is consistently needy and dependent on you for their emotional well-being, it can become exhausting.

Excessive neediness often stems from insecurity or a lack of self-confidence. It can manifest as constant demands for attention, reassurance, or help with tasks they could easily handle themselves.

Being around a person who is excessively needy can feel like you’re carrying an additional emotional load. It can leave you drained and unable to focus on your own needs.

So, if someone consistently leans on you without ever standing on their own, they might be an exhausting person to be around.

8) They don’t respect your boundaries

Respecting boundaries is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship. Boundaries allow us to maintain our individuality and personal space, both emotionally and physically.

If someone consistently disregards your boundaries, encroaching on your personal space, time, or emotional well-being, it can be incredibly exhausting.

People who don’t respect boundaries often lack empathy or understanding for others’ needs and feelings. They prioritize their own desires over your comfort and well-being.

Remember, everyone has the right to define their personal boundaries. If someone consistently disregards or crosses them, they are likely an exhausting person to be around.

Final thought: It’s about self-care

Navigating relationships and social interactions can be complex, and often, it’s influenced by a myriad of factors, including our psychological makeup, past experiences, and innate personality traits.

But at the core of it all lies the concept of self-care.

Self-care is not just about bubble baths and spa days. It’s about understanding your emotional needs and setting boundaries to protect your mental health. It’s about recognizing when someone’s behavior is taking a toll on you and taking steps to address it.

Remember, it’s okay to distance yourself from people who drain your energy. You’re not obligated to keep anyone in your life who consistently exhausts you or brings you down.

Life is too short to spend it with people who don’t enrich it. So, take care of yourself. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, respect your boundaries, and celebrate your successes.

That’s self-care. That’s putting yourself first in the best possible way.