If difficult emotions are holding you back, say goodbye to these 9 habits

Graeme Richards by Graeme Richards | November 11, 2024, 7:15 pm

Dealing with difficult emotions can feel like wrestling with a stubborn beast. They can hold you back, keeping you stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts and self-doubt.

The thing is, it’s often our own habits that feed this beast, making it stronger and harder to overcome.

As someone who’s been there, let me tell you – there are certain habits that you need to ditch if you want to free yourself from the grip of these challenging emotions.

In this article, I’ll be sharing the 9 habits that you need to say goodbye to, if your difficult emotions are holding you back. Trust me, letting go of these can make a world of difference!

1) Overthinking

We’ve all been there. A single thought takes hold and before you know it, you’re spiraling into a vortex of what-ifs and worst-case scenarios.

This, my friend, is overthinking – a common habit that keeps difficult emotions firmly in place.

Overthinking gives undue power to negative thoughts. It magnifies fears, doubts and insecurities – making them seem bigger and scarier than they really are.

The truth is, no good comes from overthinking. It drains your mental energy, leaves you feeling anxious and stuck, and prevents you from taking productive action.

So if you find yourself stuck on the treadmill of overthinking, it’s time to hop off.

Breaking this habit won’t be easy – but trust me, it’s worth it. By learning to manage your thoughts instead of letting them run wild, you can reduce feelings of stress and anxiety, gain clearer perspective, and start moving forward.

And remember – it’s not about eliminating negative thoughts; it’s about not letting them take the driver’s seat.

2) Neglecting self-care

I’ll be honest – I used to be the queen of neglecting self-care.

I’d work long hours, skip meals, ignore exercise, and run myself ragged.

But over time, I realized that this habit was fueling my difficult emotions, rather than helping me manage them.

When you neglect self-care, you send yourself the message that your needs aren’t important. And that can lead to feelings of low self-esteem, resentment, and even depression.

Moreover, when you’re physically run-down, you’re more susceptible to negative emotions.

So I started making changes. Small ones at first – making sure I ate healthy meals, took short breaks throughout the day, got enough sleep. And as I started taking better care of myself physically, I found that my emotional wellbeing improved as well.

Remember – self-care isn’t selfish or indulgent. It’s necessary for emotional health. So if you find yourself neglecting your own needs while dealing with difficult emotions, it’s time to change that habit.

3) Suppression of feelings

It’s a common misconception that the best way to deal with difficult emotions is to simply ignore them or push them aside. However, research suggests that this habit can actually amplify these emotions and cause more harm than good.

According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, individuals who habitually suppress their emotions have lower levels of psychological wellbeing and higher levels of depressive symptoms.

It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, fear, or any other emotion. Acknowledge them, allow them to exist without judgment. By doing so, you create space for understanding and healing.

Avoiding the suppression of your feelings isn’t about acting on every emotion; it’s about accepting their existence and not letting them control you. This is a much healthier way of managing difficult emotions rather than just trying to keep them hidden away.

4) Constantly seeking validation

Seeking validation from others is a habit that can keep you trapped in difficult emotions. It can make you feel like your worth depends on what others think of you, leading to feelings of insecurity and self-doubt.

When you constantly seek validation, you’re essentially handing over the reins of your self-esteem to other people. And that’s a precarious position to be in.

Remember, your worth isn’t determined by external approval. It comes from within.

Breaking this habit involves cultivating self-belief and recognizing your own worth independently of others’ opinions. This might involve setting personal goals, celebrating your achievements, or practicing positive self-talk.

The journey to self-validation might be challenging, but it’s an essential step towards freeing yourself from the grip of difficult emotions.

5) Living in the past or future

It’s easy to get caught up in the past, dwelling on mistakes and regrets. Or perhaps you’re more of a future dweller, constantly worrying about what’s to come. Either way, this habit of not living in the present can exacerbate difficult emotions.

When you’re stuck in the past or future, you’re not fully engaged with the world around you. You miss out on the joy of the present moment, and create unnecessary stress and anxiety for yourself.

To break this habit, practice mindfulness. This involves bringing your attention back to the present moment, and accepting it without judgment.

Mindfulness exercises, like focused breathing or mindful eating, can help train your mind to stay present. And with practice, you’ll find that it becomes easier to let go of past regrets and future worries, freeing yourself from their emotional hold.

6) Comparing yourself to others

In this age of social media, it’s easier than ever to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. But this habit can be incredibly damaging to our emotional wellbeing.

The truth is, comparisons rarely lead to anything but misery. They make us feel like we’re not enough, that we’re lagging behind, that we’re failing in some way. And those feelings? They can hold us back in a big way.

But here’s the thing – everyone’s journey is unique. Everyone has their own pace, their own path, their own challenges and victories. Comparing your chapter one to someone else’s chapter twenty isn’t fair to you.

So next time you catch yourself falling into the comparison trap, take a moment. Remind yourself that you’re on your own journey, and it’s the only one that truly matters.

Breaking this habit won’t happen overnight. But every step you take towards letting go of comparisons is a step towards emotional freedom. Believe me, it’s a journey worth embarking on.

7) Avoiding discomfort

I used to think that avoiding discomfort was the key to happiness. I’d shy away from tough conversations, from challenges, from anything that made me feel uneasy. But then I realized something – by avoiding discomfort, I was also avoiding growth.

Discomfort is a part of life. It comes with trying new things, with stepping out of your comfort zone, with facing your fears. And yes, it can be scary and tough. But it can also lead to incredible growth and resilience.

When you avoid discomfort, you’re also avoiding opportunities to learn and grow. You’re allowing your difficult emotions to dictate your actions, rather than using them as stepping stones towards growth.

So instead of running from discomfort, embrace it. See it as a sign that you’re pushing your boundaries, that you’re growing. It won’t always be easy, but it’s a habit worth cultivating if you want to move past difficult emotions.

And trust me – as someone who’s made this shift, I can tell you that the growth on the other side of discomfort is worth every challenging moment.

8) Keeping everything bottled up

Keeping your emotions bottled up inside is a habit that can lead to a buildup of stress and anxiety. It’s like shaking a soda can – eventually, the pressure becomes too much and it explodes.

When you keep your feelings to yourself, you deny yourself the opportunity to process them effectively. You might think you’re avoiding conflict or protecting others, but in reality, you’re just putting off dealing with your emotions.

To break this habit, start by opening up to someone you trust. Share your thoughts and feelings, and allow them to provide support and perspective.

You could also try journaling as a way to express your emotions. Writing can provide a safe outlet for your feelings, helping you to understand them better and reduce their hold over you.

Remember, it’s okay to ask for help. You don’t have to face difficult emotions alone. By opening up and expressing your feelings, you take an important step towards managing them effectively.

9) Ignoring your intuition

At the heart of all this, the most important thing to remember is to trust your intuition. It’s your inner compass, your guide in navigating through the rough emotional waters.

When dealing with difficult emotions, you might feel pulled in different directions by advice, societal expectations, or even your own fear. But amidst all this noise, your intuition remains a steady, quiet voice that often knows what’s truly best for you.

Ignoring this instinct can lead to feelings of unease and discontent. On the other hand, learning to tune into and trust your intuition can bring clarity, peace and emotional resilience.

So make a habit of listening to your inner voice. It may not always provide the easiest path, but it will guide you towards what’s right for you. And ultimately, that’s the key to overcoming difficult emotions and moving forward on your own terms.

Final thought: Embrace the journey

At the core of it all, managing difficult emotions isn’t just about saying goodbye to certain habits. It’s about a journey of self-discovery, self-acceptance, and growth.

Every emotion, whether it’s joy or sadness, excitement or fear, is a part of the rich tapestry of human experience. They add depth to our lives, teach us about ourselves, and shape us into who we are.

Yes, difficult emotions can be challenging to navigate. They can feel like roadblocks, standing in the way of our happiness. But remember – they’re not insurmountable.

With each habit you let go, with each step you take towards managing your emotions, you’re cultivating resilience. You’re learning to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and courage.

And that’s a journey worth embarking on.

So as you move forward, remember this quote from American psychiatrist M. Scott Peck – “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”

Embrace the journey. It’s yours and yours alone. And every step you take brings you closer to emotional freedom.