If dealing with difficult personalities drains you, adopt these 9 habits

Graeme Richards by Graeme Richards | August 12, 2024, 10:58 am

Dealing with difficult personalities can be draining; it’s like an uphill battle with no end in sight.

Here’s where adopting certain habits can make all the difference. It’s not about changing them, but changing your approach.

These habits, which I’ll share with you, can help you navigate through the storms of conflict and come out unscathed on the other side.

So, let’s get down to it. Here are the 9 habits you should adopt if dealing with difficult personalities drains you. Trust me, they’re game-changers!

1) Keep calm and carry on

We’ve all been there – caught in a confrontation with someone who is notoriously difficult. The tension rises, and so does your blood pressure. It’s a natural reaction, but it doesn’t have to be your go-to response.

The first habit to adopt is learning how to stay calm in the face of conflict. This might sound easier said than done, but it’s absolutely achievable.

Staying calm doesn’t mean allowing the other person to walk over you. Instead, it points towards maintaining your composure and not letting their difficult behavior affect your emotional state.

By staying calm, you not only preserve your mental health but also position yourself in a better place from where you can handle the situation effectively.

Remember, it’s not about winning or losing an argument; it’s about managing the situation without letting it drain you. This habit alone can make a world of difference in dealing with difficult personalities.

2) Practice empathy

Now, this is a habit that transformed my personal relationships. Practicing empathy can be a game-changer when dealing with difficult personalities.

I remember dealing with a particularly challenging colleague at work. Every meeting was a battleground, and I could feel my energy depleting each time we interacted.

One day, I decided to approach things differently. Instead of bracing myself for a fight, I tried to place myself in his shoes. I took the time to understand his point of view and why he acted the way he did.

This shift in perspective was enlightening. It didn’t magically resolve all our issues, but it definitely changed the dynamics between us. By empathizing with him, I was able to approach our discussions more constructively.

Empathy doesn’t mean you have to agree with the person or their behaviors. It’s about understanding where they’re coming from and using that understanding to navigate your interactions with them better.

3) Set boundaries

Setting boundaries is an essential habit when dealing with difficult personalities. It’s about defining what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t. By doing so, you safeguard your mental and emotional health.

Interestingly, a study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found that individuals with clear personal boundaries are less likely to experience stress, burnout, and poor mental health.

Boundaries can be as simple as deciding not to engage in arguments, limiting the time you spend with the person, or not allowing them to belittle your ideas and feelings.

Remember, setting boundaries isn’t about being rude or standoffish. It’s about respecting yourself enough to say “no” when necessary. This habit can help ensure your interactions with difficult personalities don’t leave you feeling drained and overwhelmed.

4) Avoid taking things personally

When dealing with difficult personalities, it’s easy to take their behavior personally. But, the truth is, their actions often reflect more about them than you.

This habit is about understanding that you are not the cause or the solution to their difficult behavior. Their actions and attitudes stem from their own experiences, beliefs, and insecurities.

By not taking things personally, you can detach yourself from their negativity, allowing you to interact with them without being emotionally affected.

Remember, it’s not about you; it’s about them. This shift in perspective can make a huge difference, leaving you feeling less drained when dealing with difficult personalities.

5) Communicate effectively

Effective communication is key when dealing with difficult people. It’s not just about what you say, but how you say it.

This habit involves expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly and assertively, but also listening attentively to what the other person has to say.

By practicing active listening, you show respect for their opinion, even if you don’t agree. This can help diffuse tension and prevent misunderstandings that could escalate the situation.

Remember, your goal is to manage the situation effectively, not to win an argument. Effective communication can help you achieve this without getting emotionally drained.

6) Cultivate patience

Patience, they say, is a virtue. And when it comes to dealing with difficult personalities, it’s a lifeline.

This habit doesn’t mean you should endure harmful behaviors indefinitely. Instead, it’s about giving yourself the grace to handle situations without rushing or reacting impulsively.

Difficult people often test our patience. But remember, everyone is fighting their own battles, and we may not always know what they are going through.

Cultivating patience can help you navigate these challenging interactions with kindness and understanding, rather than frustration and resentment. It’s a habit that not only helps in dealing with difficult people but also contributes significantly to your overall peace of mind.

7) Seek professional help when needed

There was a time when I found myself constantly drained and stressed because of a particularly difficult relationship in my life. Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t seem to manage the situation effectively.

That’s when I decided to seek professional help. Speaking with a therapist gave me new insights and coping strategies that significantly improved my ability to deal with the situation.

If you find that dealing with difficult personalities is taking a significant toll on your mental health, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Therapists and counselors are trained to help you navigate such situations and can provide valuable tools to manage your interactions more effectively.

Remember, asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a step towards self-care and personal growth.

8) Practice self-care

Dealing with difficult personalities can be emotionally taxing. It’s important to remember to take time for yourself and engage in activities that replenish your energy.

This habit is about prioritizing your well-being, whether it’s through regular exercise, mindful meditation, pursuing a hobby, or simply spending time with loved ones.

Self-care isn’t just about physical health; it’s about maintaining your mental and emotional health too. By taking care of yourself, you ensure that you have the energy and resilience to handle difficult people without feeling drained.

Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Make sure you’re taking care of yourself so you can effectively manage challenging interactions.

9) Remember, you can’t change others

The most important habit to adopt when dealing with difficult personalities is understanding that you can’t change others. We can only control our own actions and reactions.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that if we could just change this person or fix their behavior, everything would be better. But the reality is, we can’t make anyone change who doesn’t want to.

Accepting this truth can take a lot of pressure off your shoulders. Instead of trying to change the person, focus on changing how you interact with them. By doing so, you’ll be able to manage these interactions in a way that doesn’t drain you emotionally.

Final thoughts: It’s about resilience

The dynamics of human interactions are complex and dealing with difficult personalities is a challenge that many of us face. But remember, it’s not about changing the person but how we interact with them.

Developing resilience is key in this journey. It’s about bouncing back from difficult situations without letting them drain you emotionally.

The American Psychological Association defines resilience as “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even significant sources of stress.”

Adopting these habits can help build that resilience. Whether it’s practicing empathy, setting boundaries, or seeking professional help when needed, each step contributes to your ability to effectively deal with challenging personalities.

Ultimately, it’s about preserving your mental and emotional well-being.

Remember, you have the power to control your reactions and interactions. And in that power lies your ability to navigate through life’s difficult personalities without feeling drained.

So take a moment, reflect on these habits, and consider how they can transform your interactions and experiences with difficult personalities.