Is she deliberately ignoring you or is she just an introvert?

But if she’s a real introvert…then why is she friends with everyone?!

I hear ya.

It’s not easy to decode and understand an introvert.

It’s especially challenging if you’re dating them!

Well, I’m here to help.

I’m an introverted woman myself and in this article, I will share with you 13 behaviors of a woman who’s introverted at heart. 

1) She’s socially awkward

While there are many introverts who are great at socializing, there are still so many of them—myself included— who remain socially awkward.

Does she laugh when there’s nothing funny? Does she stutter and fumble? 

When you’re with people, does she act a little…different?

She’s probably an introvert with social anxiety.

You see, unlike extroverts, most introverts don’t put too much importance on social interactions.

And because of this, they probably didn’t work on interpersonal skills like decoding body language, starting a convo, and knowing how to exit gracefully.

This makes them a little unskilled when it comes to social interactions.

2) She maintains a small circle of friends

She may meet plenty of people every single day…

She might even look like a social butterfly at first glance.

But at the end of the day, she only hangs out with a few people closest to her.

A true introvert isn’t someone who can’t make friends—she might be very good at it— it’s just that she prefers to maintain a small circle.

And if they consider you a true friend, that means you’re truly special to them and they’ll treat you like a VIP.

3) She’s definitely not into parties

Introverts get exhausted when they’re around too many people.

So even if the parties she gets invited to are all awesome, she’d turn down some of them because she doesn’t want her social battery to run dry.

An introvert woman’s happiness doesn’t consist of buffets and endless talk—that’s actually torture for her!

Her true happiness in doing simple things—like eating Chinese takeout while watching a TV show.

So if she says “no” when you ask her to go with you to a gig or event or party, don’t take it too personally. She probably just wants to stay in.

4) She notices things that other simply don’t

Introverts don’t find it necessary to talk all the time.

They prefer to stay quiet if they have nothing important to say.

And because of this, they’re more observant than others.

They notice the world around them—from the pattern of the tiles on the floor to what the guy beside her is watching on his phone.

If a woman you know is highly-observant, nine times out of ten they’re an introvert at heart.

5) She talks to herself

Self-talk is more common in introverts because they process things internally.

They like to give themselves a pep talk and even “discuss” things with themself so they can come up with ideas and solutions to their problems.

Do you notice her mumbling when she thinks no one is watching?

Do you catch her smiling and laughing all by herself?

Then she’s probably an introvert at heart.

6) She enjoys intellectual conversations

While not necessarily smarter or deeper than extroverts, introverts are naturally interested in intellectual conversations.

Most of them love thinking and imagining and dreaming and philosophizing.

Does her face light up when you talk about ideas?

Does she suddenly turn into a chatterbox when you talk about her favorite topics? 

Well, she might just be an introvert at heart.

7) She sometimes cancels dates last minute

I’m guilty of this.

And while being an introvert is not an excuse for canceling dates, there are just some days where I’m so depleted.

Maybe I had too many social interactions that day and pushing myself beyond my limit would just break me.

While extroverts only need a few minutes to recharge, most introverts need more than that!

I know that if I push myself to go even if I’m already too depleted, me and my date would not enjoy the night.

Might as well cancel and make up for it next time.

Does she cancel dates sometimes saying “I’m just too tired”?

She’s probably an introvert. 

8) She gets extra quiet after socializing

Introverts get exhausted after every social interaction.

It’s like their batteries are drained and they can’t do anything else but curl in bed.

Does she doom scroll and go extra quiet the moment you leave a party?

Does she stay longer in the bathroom after you had a long call with your family?

Does she ask you “Is it okay if I stay quiet for a bit?” if she just left the office?

Then she’s probably an introvert at heart.

9) She prefers to deal with her problems alone

Well, at least at first.

You see, introverts have a tendency to internalize their problems instead of talking it through with others.

I can relate. Although I do discuss my problems with my closest friends eventually, I want to solve my issues on my own first.

It’s partly because I don’t want to bother people and partly because I believe things can be solved better when I go inward and process things without outside noise.

10) She prefers to ask questions than talk about herself

Pay very close attention the next time you talk with her.

Does she ask more about you instead of talking about herself? 

Does she always say things like “Tell me more” or “Please go on” or “ I want to hear everything.”

In other words, Is she a listener rather than a talker?

Well, she’s probably this way because she’s an introvert at heart.

As an introvert, sharing about myself drains me faster than listening to others talk. 

And so when I’m especially depleted, I end up just wanting to listen to people talk.

11) She hangs out with other introverts

I love being with people who have no issues when they do most of the talking.

I like it when I can just relax because someone else is doing the heavy lifting of the convo.

But being around a chatterbox is exhausting!

That’s why I’d rather hang out with my other introverted friends. 

Not only do they not drain me with their endless talk, I also know that they’re the ones who “get” me the most (they don’t take my silence too personally).

Are her friends introverted too? 

Do you sense that they’re comfortable with silence? 

Then she’s probably an introvert at heart.

12) She’s direct 

As an introvert, I like to keep my interactions short and sweet.

And because of this, people tell me I’m too direct and straight to the point. 

But it’s not that I’m impolite or too stiff.

It’s just that I don’t go out of my way to make small talk because I think it’s unnecessary.

When I need to ask my neighbor about the new apartment rules, I won’t spend 30 minutes talking to them about random things.

I won’t ask “How are your kids?” or “What TV show are you watching lately?” unless I’m really interested and I can sense they have the time to chat. 

Instead, I’ll just go straight to my point so we can both retreat to our own shells again.

13) She loves to retreat in her own world

If you’re with an introvert, you’ll notice that they have their own little world that they don’t want to give others access to—not even the people closest to them.

Think of it as their “charging station.”

It could be an actual place or a place in their mind when they do meditation, or even an activity like listening to music or playing video games.

And if you truly care for her wellbeing, don’t feel bad if she retreats. 

She needs her alone-time like a fish needs water.

Final thoughts:

If a woman is an introvert at heart, let her be herself!

Don’t force her to socialize.

Don’t belittle her need for space and alone time.

And don’t accuse her for being “unloving” and “uncaring”.

If you feel unloved because she’s not giving you the attention you think you deserve, then it’s time to work on your own self-esteem.

Because if you truly care for her, you’ll see her introversion as a gift, and not a flaw that needs to be corrected.