Selecting your life partner is one of the most critical decisions you will make, so make a wise choice. 

You owe it to yourself to do so. 

If you choose solely on superficial criteria like looks or age, neglecting personality red flags, you could be in for some serious heartache. 

You don’t want that, and guess what, avoiding an emotional roller coaster of a relationship is completely avoidable. 

But you have to know what qualities to filter out, such as a narcissistic or controlling personality. 

I’m here to help. 

In this article, I’ll take you through the behaviors of the overly controlling woman. 

So if these signs sound familiar, consider it time to take action. Let’s dive in!

1) She micromanages your decisions 

At the foundation of any functioning, successful relationship is mutual respect. 

This means that your partner sees you as an equal in every aspect of your shared life. 

This means she understands you’re your own person, with your own autonomy, and thus don’t need someone constantly nitpicking and micromanaging you like a nagging mother to a toddler. 

The fact is that always dictating to your partner how to do things, from minor tasks to major life decisions, is subtly belittling. 

It’s telling the other person that their ability to function and make decisions is essentially impaired. 

Not good. 

So if your partner tends to micromanage you, she doesn’t fully see you as an equal. 

Further, she’s not allowing your individuality and growth to thrive–which is an injustice to you. 

2) She tries to isolate you 

Do you know who else isolates people from their loved ones? Cult leaders. 

And why do they do this? Because they don’t want any external influence swaying you from their toxic ways.

Now I’m not saying your partner is the next Charles Manson, but the same general rule applies: by discouraging you from spending time with people outside the relationship, the greater their influence and control over you becomes. 

So don’t let it get this far. Set firm boundaries. 

Every human being deserves balance in their life. 

Make it a point to spend time with family and friends, and pursue activities away from the relationship. 

If they have a problem with it, then let them know you won’t stand for it. 

And if they still complain, then perhaps it’s time to start thinking of letting go. 

3) They constantly criticize you 

A controlling person doesn’t often want a confident and happy partner. 

The latter qualities simply make them tougher to control. 

In a controlling person’s eyes, the weaker and more vulnerable you are, the easier you are to put under their spell. 

Hence, a controlling woman will often work (either subconsciously or not) to undermine your confidence by regularly belittling you or criticizing your choices, appearance, and behaviors… sometimes, they’ll even disguise these remarks as “joking” or being “playful.” 

Nope. 

Sure, little jabs may be subtle, but over time can do plenty of damage. 

Soon, you’ll be indoctrinated to feel like you can do nothing right, that you are, in fact, permanently inadequate. 

Don’t put up with it. 

4) They snoop and monitor you 

Another cornerstone of a thriving relationship is trust. 

Unless you’ve given your woman explicit reason not to trust you, she shouldn’t be getting jealous and possessive of you. 

I get it though, some women have been burned in the past and developed trust issues. 

It’s therefore your job to reassure and make her feel safe. 

But if you’ve done the latter, and she still makes accusations about your interactions or worse, habitually tries to go through your phone, email, social media accounts, and so on, without permission, these are serious red flags.

Believe it or not, blatantly disrespecting your boundaries is not a sustainable relationship model. 

Put your foot down, and if they don’t change, you should seriously reassess things. 

5) They guilt-trip you  

I’m particularly susceptible to guilt, which historically has made me vulnerable to emotional manipulation. 

Years ago, I dated a younger woman. 

The superficial allure of going out with someone much younger made me overlook her immaturity, and ultimately, our incompatibility. 

For instance, when she didn’t get what she wanted, say for me to be available at every waking hour, she’d throw a tantrum like a spoilt child not having their way. 

I can’t exactly blame her, her tactics were largely effective. 

I’d often give in to her demands, thoroughly buying her sorrowful albeit crocodile tears. 

Any self-respecting, mature partner will communicate with you like an adult if something bothers them rather than melting down and resorting to emotional outbursts, manipulation, and guilt-tripping. 

Real talk. 

6) They want to control your money 

In a nutshell, a controlling partner doesn’t want you to feel empowered in any sense of the term. 

They want you perpetually under their rule. 

This sentiment very much extends to money. 

Maybe you share a bank account and they somehow restrict your access. 

They may make all the financial decisions for you, both big and small, without consulting you or hearing your input. 

Maybe they control what goes in and out of your account, effectively giving you an allowance since they’re “just helping you budget,” and you believe them. 

If you feel in your gut that something is off, take control back. 

Money is serious business, especially when someone else is handling it. 

Your partner isn’t your personal accountant, so don’t let them assume that role, or things may get out of hand. 

7) They constantly undermine your independence 

Look, you only live once, and your time on the planet is finite, you’re entitled to be a little selfish, to own your identity. 

Don’t let anyone take that away from you, regardless of who they are. 

Besides, doing everything together all the time is a surefire route to co-dependence and a host of other unhealthy relationship dynamics. 

Pursue personal goals, hobbies, and interests independent of your partner, even if they don’t directly benefit the relationship. 

Doing so is good for the body, mind, soul… and individuality.

Never allow someone to detract you from your autonomy and independence as a person. 

And if they try to do so, chances are, they just aren’t for you.