There’s a fine line between humility and a lack of self-esteem.

When a man lacks self-esteem, it often comes out in the words he uses. He may not even realize it, but his language can reveal more than he intends.

Self-esteem is about how we perceive our value to the world and ourselves. When it’s low, we tend to diminish our worth, even in casual conversation.

So here I am going to share with you 9 phrases that men often use when they lack self-esteem. It’s crucial to pay attention not just to what they say, but how they say it.

1) I’m sorry, but

In any given conversation, the words “I’m sorry” are often a sign of politeness or regret. However, when constantly used as a prefix to opinions or thoughts, it becomes a red flag.

When a man constantly apologizes before expressing his thoughts, it’s usually a sign he lacks self-esteem. He feels the need to apologize for his viewpoints even before he’s expressed them.

“I’m sorry, but I think…” or “I’m sorry, you might not agree but…” are common phrases. This is an unconscious way of diminishing one’s own voice and indicates a fear of disagreement or conflict.

A man with healthy self-esteem values his opinions and doesn’t feel the need to apologize for them. He understands that disagreement is part of any conversation and doesn’t shy away from expressing his views.

2) I’m no expert, but

When a man constantly downgrades his expertise or knowledge before sharing his opinion, it could be a sign of low self-esteem.

Using the phrase “I’m no expert, but…” is often a way of softening an opinion or idea. It’s as if he’s saying, “Don’t take me too seriously. I don’t really know what I’m talking about.”

This kind of self-deprecation can signal a lack of confidence in his own abilities or knowledge. It’s as if he’s expecting criticism or dismissal before even sharing his thoughts.

3) Does that make sense?

Here’s a phrase that, while seemingly innocent, could hint at low self-esteem when overused: “Does that make sense?”

When a man constantly seeks validation for his ideas or opinions, it could indicate a lack of confidence in his own thoughts. He might feel the need to check whether others understand or agree with him, betraying a fear of being misunderstood or dismissed.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with ensuring clarity in a conversation. But if this phrase is used excessively, it could suggest the speaker is uncertain of his ideas and thus may struggle with low self-esteem.

Remember, we’re focusing on patterns of speech over time. So while this phrase can sometimes simply be a sign of clear communication, frequent use may be cause for deeper consideration.

4) I’m just lucky

Now let’s talk about the phrase “I’m just lucky”. On the surface, it might sound humble or gracious. But dig a little deeper and it can reveal a lack of self-esteem.

When a man attributes his achievements to luck rather than his own skills or hard work, he’s undermining his accomplishments. He’s suggesting that he didn’t earn what he has achieved, but rather stumbled upon it by chance.

This is more than just modesty. It’s a refusal to acknowledge personal success, a denial of one’s own capabilities. And it can be heart-wrenching to see someone dismiss their own worth like this.

We all have moments of fortune, but if a man consistently credits his successes to luck, it could be a sign that he lacks self-esteem. He needs to recognize and celebrate his accomplishments for what they truly are – the result of his efforts and abilities.

5) I’m not good enough

One of the most revealing phrases a man with low self-esteem can use is “I’m not good enough”. This phrase is a direct reflection of how they perceive themselves – inadequate and unworthy.

This self-deprecating statement is more than just self-doubt. It’s an indictment of their worth and capabilities. It’s a clear signal that they hold themselves to unrealistic standards, often feeling they fall short.

The danger with this phrase is that it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more they believe they’re not good enough, the more likely they are to avoid opportunities and experiences that could prove otherwise.

Everyone has moments of self-doubt, but if this phrase is a regular part of a man’s vocabulary, it could be a sign of low self-esteem.

6) You’re too good for me

This phrase tugs at my heartstrings every time I hear it. When a man says, “You’re too good for me,” to someone he cares about, it’s a clear sign that he’s wrestling with his self-esteem.

This isn’t just being humble or modest. It’s feeling unworthy of love and happiness. It’s an indication that he doesn’t see his own value and worth.

“Love” is a mirror that reflects our self-esteem. When a man feels that he doesn’t deserve the love he’s receiving, it often stems from his lack of self-worth.

7) I don’t deserve

“I don’t deserve…” is another phrase that may indicate a lack of self-esteem. It’s a clear sign of someone who undervalues themselves, their achievements, and their worth.

When a man says he doesn’t deserve something, whether it’s a promotion, a compliment, or even love, it suggests he has a low opinion of his own value. This mindset can limit his potential, as it often leads to self-sabotaging behaviors and missed opportunities.

On the flip side, everyone deserves respect, happiness, and success. If a man frequently uses this phrase, it might be a sign of low self-esteem and an indication that he needs to work on building up his self-worth.

8) It’s all my fault

A man taking excessive blame for things that go wrong could be a sign of low self-esteem.

The phrase “It’s all my fault” is often a red flag for low self-esteem. Men who constantly blame themselves tend to have a distorted view of their role in negative situations. They shoulder all responsibility, even when it’s not warranted.

This phrase is more than just an apology – it’s an admission of guilt and failure. It signals an inability to see situations objectively and suggests a deep-seated belief that they are inherently flawed or wrong.

In reality, no one is at fault for everything. Life is complex, and responsibility is often shared.

9) I’m a failure

This is perhaps the most direct and heartbreaking sign of low self-esteem. When a man starts labeling himself as a failure, it’s clear that he’s grappling with his self-worth.

No one is defined by their mistakes or failures. They’re merely part of our journey, teaching us and helping us grow.

But when self-esteem is low, a man might start to identify himself with his failures, seeing them as a reflection of his worth.

Final thoughts: it’s about empathy

Language is a powerful tool that can offer us glimpses into the inner lives of others.

When a man consistently uses these phrases, it could very well indicate that he’s struggling with self-esteem. However, it’s also important to remember that everyone has moments of self-doubt and insecurity.

What we’re looking for here are patterns, consistent usage of these phrases over time that might suggest a deeper issue.

But what is the most significant takeaway from all this? Empathy. Understanding. Compassion.

Recognizing that someone might be wrestling with low self-esteem involves fostering empathy and understanding for their experience, rather than diagnosing or labeling them.

It’s about realizing that they may need support and encouragement. It’s about being there for them in whatever way they need, even if it’s just listening or offering a kind word.

So the next time you notice these phrases in conversation, consider it an invitation to empathy. It’s not just identifying low self-esteem—it’s  understanding the person behind the words.