You meet someone, and you think they’re nice, but sometimes their words just don’t sit right with you.

You’ve tried to brush it off, giving them the benefit of the doubt, but there’s still this nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach.

It’s this subtle feeling that something about their language is off, even when your intuition is screaming at you to pay attention.

Here’s how to decipher whether a man is truly empathetic and respectful, or if his words are revealing a more unpleasant truth.

Because the signals are often not as clear as you might hope.

1) “I don’t care.”

Empathy is all about understanding and sharing the feelings of others, right?

Well, a man who often uses the phrase “I don’t care” might be showing a lack of this crucial quality.

It’s a sign that he might not be interested in how others feel or perceive things, which is a massive red flag.

If he repeatedly uses this phrase in various situations, it could indicate a concerning lack of concern for others’ feelings or experiences.

2) “It’s not my problem.”

You know, there was this guy I once knew.

He had a habit of saying, “It’s not my problem,” whenever someone tried to share their issues or concerns with him.

In the beginning, I brushed it off, thinking he was just having a bad day or was preoccupied with his own problems.

But then I noticed that it was more than an occasional slip of the tongue. It was like a mantra for him.

Whenever anyone needed understanding or support, his go-to response was, “It’s not my problem.”

I couldn’t help but feel a sinking feeling in my stomach every time he said it. It felt dismissive like he wasn’t interested in anyone else’s experiences but his own.

This phrase can be a blatant indicator of a lack of empathy and respect for others.

After all, isn’t empathy about understanding and sharing the feelings of others?

3) “You’re too sensitive.”

I’ll never forget a person I used to be close to.

Whenever I expressed my feelings or concerns, he would brush them off with a dismissive “You’re too sensitive”.

At first, it threw me off balance. I started questioning myself, wondering if I was really being overly emotional or unreasonable.

But over time, I realized something was off. It wasn’t about me being too sensitive; it was about him not wanting to acknowledge or validate my feelings.

If a man frequently uses this phrase when you express your feelings or concerns, it may indicate a lack of empathy and respect for your emotions.

This kind of dismissal is not a sign of a healthy understanding of others’ feelings.

Remember, everyone has the right to their emotions and anyone who consistently tries to invalidate them might not be as empathetic or respectful as they should be.

4) “It’s just a joke.”

Humor is subjective: what one person finds funny, another might find offensive or hurtful.

But there’s this phrase that some men use when their joke falls flat or hurts someone’s feelings: “It’s just a joke.”

In reality, people who frequently use humor to belittle or mock others can demonstrate a lack of empathy. They hide behind the veil of humor to avoid taking responsibility for their words.

This phrase is an easy escape route for those who lack the empathy to understand how their words affect others.

5) “That’s your problem.”

Now, let’s talk about the phrase “That’s your problem.”

It’s a phrase that shows a lack of willingness to understand or help with someone else’s issues.

In any relationship, whether it’s romantic, friendship, or professional, empathy and respect are crucial.

When someone opens up about a problem, they’re not always looking for solutions; sometimes they just need a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on.

The phrase “That’s your problem” is dismissive. It indicates that the person doesn’t want to be involved or even try to empathize with the situation.

It’s like putting up a wall and refusing to engage with the issue at hand.

If a man frequently uses this phrase when you’re sharing your difficulties or concerns, it might suggest a lack of empathy and respect for others.

6) “I’m just being honest.”

As they say, honesty is the best policy.

But there’s a fine line between being honest and being disrespectful.

The phrase “I’m just being honest” is often used as a shield to deflect from the impact of harsh or insensitive words.

People who value empathy and respect understand that there’s a way to be truthful without being hurtful. They take into consideration the feelings of others and choose their words carefully.

However, when a man frequently uses the phrase “I’m just being honest” as an excuse for causing hurt or upset, it could be an indication of a lack of empathy and respect.

Being honest should never be an excuse for disregarding others’ feelings. A truly empathetic and respectful person knows how to balance honesty with kindness.

7) “Get over it.”

Sometimes life throws problems at us—things we didn’t quite expect or find difficult to cope with.

In these moments, we look for understanding and support from those around us.

So imagine hearing the phrase “Get over it” when you’re feeling vulnerable and in need of empathy.

These three words can be particularly damaging. They suggest that your feelings are invalid or that you’re overreacting, which isn’t a sign of understanding or respect.

If a man frequently uses this phrase when you’re expressing your feelings or concerns, it could indicate a lack of empathy and respect.

8) “It’s not a big deal.”

We’ve all had moments when something that might seem trivial to others is a big deal to us.

These are the times when we need understanding and validation from those around us, not dismissal or invalidation.

The phrase “It’s not a big deal” can be incredibly dismissive, especially when it’s used in response to someone expressing their feelings or concerns.

If a man frequently uses this phrase when you’re sharing something important to you, it could suggest that he lacks empathy and respect for your feelings.

Remember, what might not be a big deal to one person can be very significant to another. 

Final reflections

If you find these phrases familiar, it might be time for reflection and reassessment.

These phrases aren’t merely words but potential indicators of a deeper issue—a lack of empathy and respect.

Self-awareness is the first step towards change. Recognize these phrases when they’re used and consider the implications they may have on your relationships.

But remember, people can grow and change.

Empathy and respect can be cultivated with effort and intention.  It’s not an overnight task, but with consistency and dedication, it’s definitely achievable.