Ever been in a chat where you felt like someone’s toying with your feelings but couldn’t put a finger on it?

Sometimes, it’s not just what’s being said, but how it’s said that can really stir things up.

We’ve all bumped into someone who seems to have a knack for this, right?

They just know exactly what to say and when to drop it, leaving us feeling like we’re dancing to their tune.

Well, today, we’re going on a little detective mission.

We’ll be exploring ten phrases often dropped by men who are incredibly good at steering the emotional ship.

These phrases might look innocent but don’t be fooled! When used right, they can really rock the boat.

1. “Don’t take it personally”

This phrase seems harmless, right? But when used in a manipulative context, it can be a real game-changer.

Here’s why: By telling you not to take something personally, they’re making it seem like your feelings aren’t justified. It’s a classic way to make you second guess your own response and divert attention away from their actions.

If you find someone using this phrase especially when they’ve said or done something hurtful or controversial, be alert. What they’re really trying to do might just be to get away with their behavior without having to deal with the consequences.

Remember, your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to express them!

2. “I’m just being honest”

Ever heard this one before? “I’m just being honest” is a phrase that can be used to mask hurtful comments or criticism under the guise of honesty.

The person using this phrase might be trying to manipulate you into thinking that they’re doing you a favor by giving it to you ‘straight’. But in reality, they might be using this as an excuse to be unnecessarily harsh or critical without having to face backlash.

Is honesty important? Absolutely. But remember, there’s a difference between being honest and being cruel. If someone uses this phrase to justify their harsh words, it’s worth taking a step back and evaluating their intentions.

3. “You’re too sensitive”

Ah, this one hits close to home. I remember when a friend used to say this to me quite often. Let me share the story with you.

We were having a discussion and he made a joke that I found offensive. Instead of addressing my concerns when I confronted him, he quickly dismissed my feelings by saying, “You’re too sensitive”.

This phrase can be really manipulative because it invalidates your feelings and puts the blame on you for reacting. By labeling you as ‘too sensitive’, they’re trying to make it seem like your reaction is the problem, not their actions.

Over time, I realized that my feelings were not the issue. It was his way of avoiding responsibility for his hurtful words. It’s important to remember that everyone has a right to their own emotions and reactions. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

4. “Everybody thinks that…”

Here’s an interesting fact: Psychologists have a term for this. It’s called the ‘bandwagon effect’. When a person uses phrases like “Everybody thinks that…”, they’re trying to manipulate you into going along with what they’re saying.

This phrase works on our natural desire to fit in and be part of the group. By implying that ‘everyone’ shares their viewpoint, they’re attempting to pressure you into agreeing with them, even if you don’t.

Here’s the catch: just because ‘everyone’ supposedly thinks something, doesn’t make it right or true. Always take such statements with a grain of salt and form your own opinions based on facts and your personal beliefs.

5. “I didn’t mean to hurt you”

This is a phrase that tugs at the heartstrings. We’ve all been on the receiving end of this at some point, haven’t we?

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” they say, and your heart wants to believe them. After all, nobody wants to think that someone they care about would intentionally cause them pain.

But here’s the thing: this phrase can be used manipulatively to escape responsibility for their actions, while simultaneously making you feel guilty for being hurt. It’s a subtle way of shifting the blame from their actions to your reactions.

It’s important to remember that intentions don’t always absolve hurtful actions. It’s okay to acknowledge that you were hurt and ask for an apology or a change in behavior. You matter, and so do your feelings.

6. “I was just joking”

Ah, another phrase I’ve come across quite a few times in my life. Let me take you back to one particular incident.

A few years ago, I was part of a group project at work. One of my teammates had a habit of making snide remarks about my ideas during meetings. When I finally gathered the courage to address it, his response was, “I was just joking.”

This phrase is often used by emotional manipulators to disguise hurtful comments as humor. By saying they were ‘just joking’, they try to make you feel like you’re overreacting and being too sensitive.

After that incident, I learned that humor should never be an excuse for disrespect. If a ‘joke’ hurts your feelings or makes you uncomfortable, it’s okay to speak up about it. You have the right to be treated with respect and kindness, always.

7. “You owe me”

This one stings, doesn’t it? It’s raw, it’s direct, and it’s often a major manipulation tool.

“You owe me.” Three words that can make you feel trapped and obligated. It’s a phrase that’s designed to make you feel like you’re in debt to the person saying it.

This phrase is all about control. By making you feel like you ‘owe’ them, they’re trying to manipulate you into doing what they want.

But here’s the unfiltered truth: You don’t owe anyone anything that compromises your comfort, safety, or peace of mind. Don’t let anyone use your kindness or past actions as a means to control you. Stand firm and remember your worth.

8. “It’s for your own good”

Did you know that this phrase has its roots in something called ‘benevolent manipulation’?

When someone says, “It’s for your own good,” they’re trying to convince you that their actions or words, no matter how hurtful or controlling, are actually in your best interest.

This phrase is manipulative because it’s a way of justifying their actions and making you feel like they’re doing you a favor, even when they’re crossing boundaries.

But here’s an interesting fact: true benevolence doesn’t require manipulation. If someone genuinely has your best interest at heart, they’ll respect your feelings, listen to your concerns, and won’t force their decisions on you. So the next time someone tries to justify their actions with this phrase, remember to trust your own judgment.

9. “Trust me”

This one is personal. I’ve been burned by it before and I’m sure many of you have too.

“Trust me,” a close friend once said to me, convincing me to invest in a scheme that he claimed was foolproof. Against my better judgment, I did. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t foolproof.

“Trust me,” can be a powerful phrase when used genuinely. It can strengthen bonds and deepen relationships. But in the hands of a manipulator, these words can become a tool to exploit your trust and make you do things you’re not comfortable with.

I learned a valuable lesson from that experience: Trust needs to be earned, not demanded. And it’s okay to question things, even when someone says “trust me”. Your comfort and safety should always come first.

10. “If you really cared about me…”

This one feels like a punch in the gut, doesn’t it? It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s a go-to phrase for those adept at emotional manipulation.

“If you really cared about me, you would…” The words hang in the air, making you question your actions, your decisions, and worst of all, your feelings for them.

This phrase is a classic manipulation tactic used to guilt trip you into doing something you’re not comfortable with. By questioning your feelings for them, they’re trying to control your actions.