Ever had one of those conversations with a guy that just left you scratching your head and thinking, “What did he just say?”

Perhaps it was a comment that made you feel a bit off, or maybe he said something that made you feel small or not heard.

Sounds familiar? Well, you might have been dealing with a guy who isn’t exactly an all-star in the emotional intelligence department.

Emotional intelligence, also known as EQ, is all about understanding and managing our own feelings and those of others. It’s about being smart with people and their emotions.

But how do you spot a guy who’s low on EQ?

Well, we’ve got your back. This article is going to highlight 10 phrases often used by men lacking in emotional intelligence.

1. “You’re just overreacting”

We’re kicking things off with this classic phrase that’s a big red flag.

When a man tells you that you’re “overreacting,” he’s essentially dismissing your feelings and emotions. It shows that he’s not really grasping the impact of his actions or words on you. Plus, it’s a pretty clear sign that he lacks empathy – a crucial part of emotional intelligence.

This phrase is often used to gaslight, manipulate, and control the narrative in a situation. It shifts the focus from the real issue to your reaction, which isn’t fair or respectful.

If you hear this phrase often, it might be time to reconsider how emotionally intelligent the guy really is. 

2. “I don’t know why you’re upset”

Next up on the list is this baffling phrase.

When a man says, “I don’t know why you’re upset,” it shows a lack of understanding and empathy for your feelings. Emotional intelligence involves being able to recognize and comprehend others’ emotions, and this phrase clearly indicates a shortfall in that area.

It’s not just about getting why you’re upset. It’s also about taking the time to understand what has caused the upset in the first place.

If he’s using this phrase frequently, it might be a signal that he’s not putting in the necessary effort to understand or empathize with your feelings. 

3. “I don’t do feelings”

Here’s a phrase that really hits home for me.

Once, I was dating this guy who would always say, “I don’t do feelings.” At first, I brushed it off as him just being a bit emotionally reserved. But as time went on, I realized it was more than that.

This phrase was his way of avoiding any emotional responsibility or deep conversation. If I ever brought up something that was bothering me or tried to discuss our relationship on a deeper level, he’d use this phrase as an escape route.

This phrase is a clear indicator of low emotional intelligence. It shows an unwillingness to engage with emotions – both his own and others’. 

4. “That’s just how I am”

Next on the list is a phrase that often masks an unwillingness to change – “That’s just how I am.”

When a man uses this phrase, he’s essentially saying he’s set in his ways and not open to self-improvement or personal growth. Emotional intelligence involves being adaptable and open to change, particularly when it comes to improving interpersonal relationships.

But research shows that personality traits are fluid and can change over time. This means that saying “That’s just how I am” is not only a sign of low emotional intelligence but also scientifically untrue.

Remember, willingness to grow and adapt is a key aspect of emotional intelligence. If a man frequently uses this phrase, it could indicate a lack of EQ.

5. “It’s not my problem”

This next phrase is particularly disheartening to hear – “It’s not my problem.”

When a man uses this phrase, it shows a lack of empathy and compassion for the feelings and situations of others. It’s a clear sign he is disconnecting himself from any emotional responsibility or involvement.

Emotional intelligence involves understanding and sharing the feelings of others. It’s about realizing that we’re all interconnected in some way, and that one person’s problem can, in fact, affect us all on some level.

Hearing this phrase can be deeply hurtful, particularly when you’re seeking support or understanding. An emotionally intelligent man will show empathy and concern, rather than dismissing your issues as not his problem.

6. “Just calm down”

This next phrase brings back some personal memories – “Just calm down.”

I remember being in a heated discussion with a friend of mine. I was trying to express my feelings about a situation that had upset me, and his response was, “Just calm down.”

This phrase didn’t help to defuse the situation or make me feel better. Instead, it made me feel dismissed and invalidated. It was as if my feelings weren’t justified or important enough to be acknowledged.

Emotionally intelligent people understand that telling someone to “calm down” rarely helps. Instead, they listen and validate feelings, even if they don’t fully understand them, creating a safe space for open communication.

So, if a man frequently tells you to “just calm down” without attempting to understand why you’re upset, it might indicate a lack of emotional intelligence.

7. “You’re being too sensitive”

Alright, let’s get real for a moment with this next phrase – “You’re being too sensitive.”

Hearing this can feel like a punch in the gut. It’s dismissive, belittling, and it can make you second-guess your own emotions and reactions.

When a man says this, he’s not showing empathy or understanding. Instead, he’s judging your reaction as excessive.

Emotionally intelligent people understand that your feelings are valid. They respect emotions and know that everyone has unique responses to different situations.

So if a guy keeps telling you that you’re “too sensitive,” take it as a warning sign. It might mean he lacks emotional intelligence and doesn’t respect your emotions as he should.

8. “It’s not that big of a deal”

Next in line is the dismissive phrase – “It’s not that big of a deal.”

When a man uses this phrase, he’s downplaying your feelings or the situation at hand. It’s a clear sign he doesn’t fully understand or respect your feelings, which are key aspects of emotional intelligence.

According to a study, validating someone’s feelings can help reduce their distress and foster a better emotional connection. This means that downplaying someone’s feelings or experiences can have the opposite effect.

An emotionally intelligent person will validate your feelings, not dismiss them as unimportant.

9. “Stop being so dramatic”

This next phrase is one that I’ve personally encountered – “Stop being so dramatic.”

I remember my old college roommate saying this to me whenever I expressed strong emotions or reactions. It felt like a dismissal of my feelings and made me feel small and misunderstood.

When a man uses this phrase, he’s trying to minimize your feelings and make them seem unreasonable. It shows a lack of empathy and understanding, key components of emotional intelligence.

Emotionally intelligent people know that everyone experiences and expresses their feelings differently. They don’t label someone as “dramatic” just because their emotional expression differs from theirs.

10. “You always take things too personally”

Let’s wrap this up with a phrase that cuts deep – “You always take things too personally.”

This phrase is often used as a defensive mechanism. When a man uses it, he’s essentially trying to shift the blame onto you instead of owning up to his actions or words that might have caused hurt.

Emotionally intelligent people understand that their actions and words can affect others. They take responsibility for this impact instead of blaming others for their reactions.

If you hear this phrase frequently, be aware. It’s a sign of low emotional intelligence. Someone who truly respects and values your feelings won’t dismiss them as you ‘taking things too personally’.