Ever felt stuck in a chat, just not catching what he’s trying to say? We’ve all been there. Sometimes, it’s not you – it could be him. Certain phrases can make a conversation feel like a puzzle.

In this article, we’re calling out the ten confusing phrases that some men might use.

If you keep hearing these, well, it might just mean that the guy needs a little help to express himself better.

So, are you ready? Let’s dive right in!

1. “I mean, you know”

Let’s start with this one. How many times have you heard someone say “I mean, you know” in a conversation? This phrase is a big sign that someone is struggling to express their thoughts clearly.

When a man uses this phrase often, it can feel like he’s not fully explaining his thoughts or he’s assuming you already understand what he’s trying to say. But good communication is about making sure the other person understands, not just assuming they do.

So, if you’re talking with someone and they keep dropping “I mean, you know”, it might be a sign that they need to slow down, think through their thoughts, and express them more clearly. 

2. “Whatever”

“Whatever” is another phrase that can signal poor communication skills. This little word is often used as an easy escape route when a conversation becomes too complex or challenging.

When a man uses “whatever”, it can come across as dismissive or show that he’s unwilling to engage in meaningful discussion. It shuts down the conversation and can leave the other person feeling unheard or dismissed.

Remember, good communication isn’t just about getting your point across; it’s also about listening and engaging with what others have to say. So, if “whatever” is a frequent part of someone’s vocabulary, it might be time for them to rethink their conversation habits.

3. “It’s not a big deal”

Ever heard someone say “It’s not a big deal”? This one rings a bell, doesn’t it? When a man uses this phrase often, it can feel like he’s trying to downplay something that could actually be quite important.

I remember a friend of mine who used to say this a lot. We’d be discussing something that was clearly important to me, like my concerns about a project at work, and he’d just brush it off with, “It’s not a big deal”. It made me feel like my concerns weren’t being taken seriously.

If you come across someone who often uses this phrase, it might be a sign that they’re not really acknowledging the weight of the situation or are trying to avoid a difficult conversation.

4. “It is what it is”

The phrase “It is what it is” is often used as a verbal shrug, a way of accepting a situation without trying to engage with it further. While it can be a sign of accepting reality, overuse can be a signal of poor communication skills.

An interesting fact is that this phrase was originally popular in the sports world. Coaches and athletes use it to acknowledge and accept defeat without dwelling on it. However, when brought into everyday conversation, constant use can imply a lack of interest in exploring things deeper or brainstorming solutions.

The key to good communication is to engage in meaningful conversations and show willingness to understand different perspectives. If someone constantly uses “It is what it is”, it could be an indication of their reluctance to delve into complex issues or their lack of desire to challenge the status quo.

5. “You’re too sensitive”

Next on the list is the phrase “You’re too sensitive”. This statement can be quite hurtful and is a definite red flag in effective communication. It undermines the other person’s feelings and suggests that their emotional reaction is somehow wrong or exaggerated.

This phrase can be particularly damaging because it invalidates the other person’s feelings. No one should feel that their emotions or reactions are being judged as ‘too much’ or ‘over the top’.

When someone uses this phrase, it could be a sign that they are not taking the time to understand and empathize with your feelings. Good communication is about respecting and valuing each other’s emotions, not belittling them.

6. “Can’t you take a joke?”

This phrase, “Can’t you take a joke?” is one that I’ve personally encountered and it never sits well with me. It’s often used as a shield when someone’s humor crosses a line, turning what could be a moment of reflection into a blame game.

I remember when a colleague used this phrase after making an off-color joke about my presentation style during a meeting. Instead of owning up to his misstep, he threw this phrase at me, shifting the blame and making me feel like I was the one overreacting.

When someone uses “Can’t you take a joke?”, it suggests they’re not very good at acknowledging their own mistakes or considering the feelings of others.

7. “I don’t care”

Let’s get raw and real here. “I don’t care” is possibly one of the most hurtful phrases someone can use in a conversation. It’s like a punch in the gut. When a man uses this phrase, it’s like he’s putting up a wall, shutting down the conversation, and making it clear that your thoughts or feelings don’t matter to him.

Using “I don’t care” frequently shows a lack of empathy and interest in what others have to say. It’s a roadblock in any meaningful conversation and it can damage relationships.

8. “No offense, but…”

“No offense, but…” is a phrase that often precedes a statement that is, well, offensive. It’s as if the speaker believes that this little disclaimer will shield them from any criticism or harm their following comments might cause.

Here’s an interesting fact: According to linguists, phrases like “No offense, but…” are known as ‘performatives’. They don’t just convey information, but perform an action – in this case, trying to sidestep responsibility for any offense caused.

This phrase can be a sign of poor communication skills because it shows a lack of consideration for how words might affect others. Good communication involves being mindful of our words and ensuring we’re not hurting or offending others. If “No offense, but…” is a staple in someone’s vocabulary, they might need to rethink their approach to conversation.

9. “You always…” or “You never…”

“You always…” or “You never…” are phrases that I’ve personally experienced and they can be quite damaging in a conversation. They are absolute statements that seldom reflect the truth and often cause the other person to become defensive.

I recall a former partner who would often use these phrases during arguments. “You never listen to me,” or “You always forget important dates.” It felt like my entire character was being reduced to a single, negative trait.

When someone uses these phrases, it shows they might be struggling to communicate their feelings or concerns effectively. Instead of expressing what bothers them in a specific situation, they’re making sweeping generalizations about the other person’s behavior.

10. “That’s just how I am”

Last but not least, “That’s just how I am” is a phrase that can feel like a brick wall in a conversation. When a man uses this phrase, it often comes across as him refusing to acknowledge any need for change or growth.

Let’s get real here. This phrase is a cop-out. It’s like saying, “I don’t want to put in the effort to change or improve.” It rejects the idea that we all have areas where we can grow and improve, especially when it comes to communication.

We all have aspects of our personality that are just ‘us’, but using them as an excuse for poor communication or behavior isn’t fair or productive. If you hear “That’s just how I am”, it might be a sign that the person you’re talking to isn’t willing to put in the work needed to communicate effectively.