Being happy in life is often considered the ultimate goal. But what if you seem to have everything, yet happiness eludes you?

Living in a world dominated by social media highlight reels, it’s easy to put on a brave face and pretend everything is fine when it isn’t.

Often, men are commended for their strength and seen as the epitome of resilience, making it difficult for them to openly express their unhappiness.

Keep reading to discover the 10 subtle behaviors that could indicate you’re not just distant or aloof—you’re secretly unhappy in life.

1) He’s become a master of disguise

He’s perfected the art of wearing a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He laughs, jokes and appears to be the life of the party, but deep down he’s struggling.

This facade is often mistaken for aloofness, or even arrogance. People may perceive him as being distant, but this couldn’t be farther from the truth.

He’s not trying to push people away intentionally. Instead, he’s using this disguise as his shield, protecting his vulnerabilities from the world.

2) He’s lost interest in things he used to love

This was something I personally experienced. I used to love photography. I would spend hours capturing moments, editing photos, and showcasing them for my friends. It was my escape from the world.

But during a particularly challenging phase of my life, I noticed that my camera started collecting dust. The enthusiasm I once had for capturing life’s beauty had faded away. I was declining invitations to photo walks and exhibitions, preferring to spend time alone.

My friends thought I was just being aloof, but deep down, I was grappling with unhappiness. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to do what I loved; it’s just that I couldn’t find the energy or motivation.

3) He’s often lost in thought

According to a study published in the journal Science, a wandering mind is an unhappy mind. The research found that people are substantially less happy when their minds are wandering than when they are not, regardless of the activity they are engaged in.

It’s not that he’s being intentionally distant or rude – his mind might just be elsewhere, grappling with the unhappiness he’s trying to keep hidden. 

4) He’s overly critical of himself

He might constantly belittle his achievements, dismiss his successes, and focus predominantly on his failures or shortcomings. This harsh self-criticism can be a subtle sign of his internal discontent.

It’s not that he’s seeking attention or fishing for compliments. Rather, he’s struggling with feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction that are symptomatic of his hidden unhappiness.

Related: I always felt lost and unfulfilled in life until I realized these 9 key truths about happiness

5) He’s become distant in relationships

He might begin to pull away from loved ones, becoming more distant and detached. These emotional walls are not built out of malice or a desire to hurt those around him, but from a need to protect himself.

Even though he deeply cares for these individuals, he may find it increasingly difficult to express his feelings or engage in meaningful conversations. He might avoid social gatherings, preferring the solitude of his own company.

In truth, he’s likely scared—terrified that his unhappiness might burden those he cares about, or worse, push them away.

6) He’s forgotten how to laugh genuinely

Laughter is often considered the best medicine, but for a man secretly battling unhappiness, it can become a rare commodity.

He might laugh at jokes, smile at funny anecdotes, but if you look closely, you might notice that his laughter lacks its usual warmth. It feels forced, almost like he’s forgotten how to laugh genuinely.

Don’t mistake this for him being humorless or grumpy. He’s not trying to be the killjoy in the room. It’s just that his inner turmoil is making it hard for him to find joy in the little things that used to make him laugh.

It’s crucial to remember here that his struggle with laughter isn’t a reflection of the people around him or their attempts to cheer him up. It’s just one of those subtle signs hinting at the unhappiness he’s trying to hide.

7) He’s constantly tired

Ever noticed how some days you just wake up tired, even after a full night’s sleep? 

He could be constantly battling fatigue, finding it hard to summon the energy to get through the day. It’s not about being lazy or unproductive; it’s a deep-seated exhaustion that goes beyond physical tiredness.

This constant state of fatigue can often be misunderstood as disinterest or apathy. But in truth, it’s his body’s way of coping with the emotional drain that comes with hidden unhappiness.

8) He’s overindulging in comfort food

Who hasn’t had a day when nothing feels better than digging into a tub of your favorite ice cream? 

He might start seeking solace in comfort food, diving into those extra slices of pizza or chocolate bars more often than usual.

This isn’t about him being greedy or having poor self-control. It’s a common, human response to seek comfort in food, especially during emotionally challenging times.

Don’t be too quick to judge him for his sudden love for late-night snacks or his newfound friendship with the delivery guy. He’s not trying to win a food-eating contest; he might just be quietly wrestling with unhappiness.

9) He’s neglecting his health

He might start skipping workouts, opting for fast food over balanced meals, or even neglecting basic hygiene. This isn’t because he doesn’t care about his wellbeing or because he’s given up on himself.

In reality, he’s so consumed by his internal struggle that he’s forgotten how important it is to take care of his physical health. This isn’t about shaming him for not sticking to a fitness routine or for choosing a burger over a salad. It’s about recognizing that his disregard for his health might be a cry for help.

10) He’s stopped planning for the future

He might stop setting goals, lose interest in his career progression, or even avoid conversations about the future. This isn’t because he’s lost his ambition or because he’s given up on his dreams.

In reality, he’s so overwhelmed by his current state of unhappiness that the thought of planning for the future feels daunting, almost impossible.

His inability to look ahead doesn’t define him or his potential. It simply signifies that he’s caught in a tough battle with unhappiness—one that he’s trying hard to fight, and with a little understanding and support, one that he can surely overcome.

Final thoughts

As we wrap up, it’s clear that recognizing the subtle signs of unhappiness is just the start. Understanding these behaviors helps us see beyond the surface, revealing the silent struggles some people face every day. But understanding alone isn’t enough. We need to act on this knowledge, offering a helping hand and a listening ear to those around us who might be quietly suffering.

In this journey toward better understanding and empathy, I suggest watching a video by Justin Brown. He talks about how his views on the law of attraction led to feelings of loneliness and being single, providing a unique perspective on seeking happiness and fulfillment. This video can offer valuable insights into how our beliefs and actions impact our emotional well-being.

By watching Justin Brown’s video and applying its lessons, we can learn more about ourselves and how to support others. It’s a reminder that being there for someone can make a big difference. So, let’s make an effort to reach out, to listen, and to be there for the people in our lives. Sometimes, a simple act of kindness is all it takes to help someone feel a little less alone in their struggles.

Let’s not forget: happiness is a complex journey, but it’s one that we can navigate together. Watching resources like Justin Brown’s video and offering our support to those in need can help us all find our way to a happier, more connected life.