If a man displays these 7 specific traits, you probably shouldn’t trust him

Pearl Nash by Pearl Nash | September 16, 2024, 9:34 am

Trust is a vital part of any relationship, but not everyone deserves it. Some men display specific traits that raise red flags about their trustworthiness.

From constantly shifting stories to dismissing your feelings, these behaviors can reveal deeper issues.

If you notice these signs, it’s important to take them seriously.

Trust is built on honesty, empathy, and respect, and without these qualities, it’s hard to have a solid foundation in any relationship.

1) Constantly shifting stories

We all have moments of forgetfulness, but there’s a difference between forgetting minor details and constantly changing the narrative.

A man who frequently alters his stories or struggles to keep his facts straight might be a cause for concern.

This trait is often associated with dishonesty, as people who lie tend to struggle with keeping track of their various versions of events.

It’s one thing to forget a detail or two from a story, but if someone’s story is always changing and inconsistent, it might be a red flag.

Now, this doesn’t mean that everyone who changes their story is untrustworthy – we all have moments where we misremember things. But when it becomes a pattern, it’s something to watch out for.

2) Doesn’t keep promises

We all have moments where we fail to follow through on a promise due to unforeseen circumstances. But there’s a difference between an occasional lapse and a consistent pattern of broken promises.

I remember an old friend of mine, let’s call him Mike.

Mike would always make grand promises – from helping me move to simply meeting for a cup of coffee. However, more often than not, he would fail to follow through.

There was always an excuse or a reason why he couldn’t keep his promise.

Over time, this pattern made it clear that Mike’s word could not be trusted.

If you come across a man who consistently breaks his promises, no matter how big or small, this could be a sign that he’s not trustworthy.

Trust is built on reliability and consistency. If someone can’t even keep their word about the small things, can you really trust them with the big ones?

3) Lack of empathy

Empathy is one of the fundamental building blocks of trust. It’s the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.

Without it, meaningful connection is nearly impossible.

But did you know that according to a study, people who display low empathy are more likely to engage in manipulative and deceitful behavior?

If a man seems indifferent to others’ feelings or struggles to show compassion, it might suggest a lack of empathy.

This trait can be a serious red flag indicating that he may not value the emotional wellbeing of the people around him, which is crucial when it comes to trust.

So, if you notice a lack of empathetic responses or actions, it might be wise to reconsider how much trust you place in this person.

4) Excessive self-interest

We all have a natural inclination to put our own interests first. It’s a survival instinct. But when someone is excessively self-interested, it can be a sign of trouble.

If a man constantly prioritizes his own needs and wants over everyone else’s, it can indicate that he values himself above others. This kind of self-centered behavior can lead to a disregard for others’ feelings and needs.

It’s important to know that a healthy relationship, whether it’s personal or professional, requires a balance of give and take.

After all, trust requires considering and respecting the needs and feelings of others.

5) He’s secretive about his past

I’ve always tried to live my life as an open book, believing that transparency and honesty are the cornerstones of trust.

However, I once knew someone who was the complete opposite.

This man, who I thought was a close friend, was always vague when it came to discussing his past. It was like trying to piece together a jigsaw puzzle without all the pieces.

His reluctance to share even basic details about his past, combined with his vague and often contradictory statements, made me question what he was hiding. It cast a shadow over our friendship and made it hard for me to trust him.

If a man is secretive or vague about his past, it can be a sign that something isn’t right.

While everyone has a right to privacy, consistent evasion can often be a sign of hidden agendas or past mistakes they’re trying to hide. 

6) He’s dismissive of your feelings

In any kind of relationship, it’s crucial that both parties feel heard and validated.

If a man is dismissive of your feelings or belittles you when you express your emotions, it can be a clear sign of disrespect.

Such behavior can also indicate a lack of empathy, which as we mentioned earlier, is a fundamental building block of trust.

If someone dismisses your feelings, it may suggest that they’re unwilling to understand or respect your viewpoint.

A trustworthy person will take your feelings into account and show respect for your emotions, even if they don’t necessarily agree with them. 

7) He displays controlling behavior

Perhaps one of the most alarming red flags is controlling behavior. If a man tries to control your actions, decisions, or even your thoughts, it’s a crystal-clear sign that he shouldn’t be trusted.

Control is not love or respect; it’s a sign of insecurity and a lack of respect for your autonomy. A trustworthy person will respect your freedom to make your own choices, and they’ll support you rather than trying to control you.

So if you encounter a man who attempts to exert control over you, remember that this is not a trait of someone who can be trusted. 

The heart of the matter

Trust isn’t something that should be given freely, especially when faced with behaviors like controlling actions, broken promises, or lack of empathy.

If a man shows any of these seven traits, it may be a sign that he doesn’t value transparency or mutual respect.

It’s crucial to protect yourself by being aware of these signs and understanding that true trust is earned through consistent, honest actions, not empty words or unreliable behavior.