My mom used to say, “Character is everything.”

Character, she told me, was the compass that guided a person through life. It was the foundation of integrity, kindness, and respect for others. And I believe she was onto something.

But sometimes, discerning someone’s true character isn’t always as straightforward as we’d like it to be.

Consider this.

There are certain behaviors that may indicate a man is not as good-hearted as he initially appears. These behaviors can often fly under the radar, disguised as charm or confidence.

So, if you’re asking yourself “How can I identify a good person?” stay tuned. We’re about to delve into 7 tell-tale behaviors that could suggest a man may not be as decent as he seems.

This isn’t about stereotyping or jumping to conclusions – it’s about understanding behaviors that might hint at a less-than-stellar character. Keep these on your radar and remember, everyone deserves respect and kindness, including you.

1) He often invalidates your feelings

You’re sharing a personal experience or expressing an emotion, and instead of offering empathy or understanding, he dismisses your feelings. He may even belittle or ignore them entirely.

This behavior, my friends, is a red flag.

Everyone has a right to their feelings and experiences. If a man consistently invalidates your emotions, it may be an indication that he lacks respect for you.

A good person will always value your feelings, even if they don’t entirely understand them. They’ll listen, empathize, and offer comfort – not disregard what you’re going through.

2) He’s unapologetically selfish

Let me share a personal story.

A few years ago, I dated a man who would always put his needs before mine. For example, if we were deciding where to go for dinner, he’d choose his favorite place even though he knew I didn’t care for their food.

At first, I brushed it off. “He just really loves that restaurant”, I told myself.

But over time, this behavior became a pattern. He prioritized his wants and needs over mine, every single time.

That’s when it hit me.

His selfishness was not about a preference for a certain type of food or restaurant. It was about a disregard for my feelings and desires.

In a relationship, there should be mutual respect and consideration. If a man consistently puts his own needs before yours without any regard for your feelings, it’s a clear sign of self-centeredness.

Remember: A good man will strive for balance and fairness in a relationship. They’ll make sure your needs are being met as well as their own.

3) He’s a master of manipulation

Let’s talk about manipulation – a word that leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

There was this guy I knew. He was charismatic, charming, and seemingly kind-hearted. But beneath that attractive exterior, he was a different person.

He had this knack for twisting words and situations to his advantage. He’d make you question your own memory, your own judgment. You’d find yourself apologizing for things you hadn’t done wrong, questioning your own sanity.

That’s manipulation in its darkest form.

And it’s not okay.

If a man constantly manipulates you, making you doubt your worth or sanity, that’s not love or respect. It’s control dressed up as concern.

4) He lacks empathy

Picture this.

You’re upset about something that happened at work. You come home and share your frustrations with him, expecting a comforting word or a listening ear.

But instead, he shrugs it off, tells you to ‘get over it’, or worse, shows complete indifference. It’s as if your feelings are nothing more than an inconvenience to him.

That, my friends, is a lack of empathy.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship.

If a man consistently shows a lack of empathy towards you or anyone else, it may be an indication that he’s not a good person.

5) He’s always playing the victim

You’ve heard it before, right? It’s always someone else’s fault. He’s always at the receiving end of life’s harsh blows, never taking responsibility for his own actions.

But did you know that psychologists call this the ‘victim syndrome‘? It’s a negative pattern where a person tends to see themselves as a victim in different situations, refusing to acknowledge their role in a situation.

This behavior can be quite damaging, creating a cycle of blame and denial.

If a man consistently plays the victim and refuses to take responsibility for his actions, it could be showing you a side of his character that’s far from being good.

6) He constantly belittles others

As the night progresses in your night out together, you notice a consistent pattern – he’s always making fun of others. Maybe it’s the way someone talks, how they dress or their personal choices. His remarks are not meant to be humorous or light-hearted; they’re hurtful and offensive.

This behavior, it breaks my heart.

Nobody deserves to be mocked or belittled for being themselves. It’s a sign of deep insecurity when someone feels the need to tear others down to feel better about themselves.

A genuinely good person will always respect and value others for who they are. They understand that everyone is unique and that diversity is something to be celebrated, not ridiculed.

7) He lacks honesty

Let’s be real here.

Honesty is the cornerstone of any relationship – be it friendship, romance, or family. Without it, trust crumbles and relationships falter.

If a man consistently lies, deceives, or hides the truth, it’s a clear indication that he lacks the integrity of a good person.

Valuing honesty and practicing it, even when it’s uncomfortable or difficult, is a hallmark of integrity. This commitment to truth is essential as it fosters trust, which serves as the foundation for strong, meaningful relationships

The final reflection

If you’ve recognized these behaviors in someone you know, it might be a tough pill to swallow.

But here’s the silver lining – awareness is the first step towards change.

Nobody is perfect. We all have our flaws and imperfections. The key lies in recognizing and addressing these negative behaviors for what they are.

If you encounter a man displaying these behaviors, approach the situation with compassion. It’s not about judging or condemning, but about understanding that these behaviors are not reflective of a good person.

This journey of discernment may not be easy, but it’s worth it. It’s an opportunity to learn more about human behavior, to set boundaries, and to prioritize your own well-being.

So take a moment to reflect. Remember your worth and never settle for less than respect and kindness. Because you deserve nothing less.