In the realm of relationships, emotional intelligence is the name of the game.

It’s not the grand gestures that truly matter, but rather the subtle nuances that reveal a deep understanding and emotional depth. When a man falls short in these areas, it’s a glaring indicator of his lack of emotional intelligence.  

In this piece, we’ll delve into eight unmistakable behaviors that signal a deficit in emotional intelligence within a man’s approach to relationships. Identifying these red flags can serve as a compass to navigate emotional hurdles with grace and clarity.

1) Disregard for personal feelings

Emotional intelligence boils down to recognizing and respecting feelings—yours and others’. When a guy brushes off his partner’s emotions, it’s a neon sign for low emotional IQ.

You’ve heard it before: “You’re overreacting,” or “It’s not a big deal.” These phrases undercut feelings, leaving partners feeling sidelined and second-guessing themselves.

Here’s the scoop: emotional smarts ain’t about always seeing eye to eye. It’s about acknowledging, even when you don’t get it. Instead of shutting down, it’s saying, “I hear you, and your feelings matter.” That’s the real deal.

2) Inability to handle criticism

Emotional intelligence? It’s all about taking criticism in your stride. But when a guy flies off the handle at feedback, it’s a red flag for low EQ.

Criticism isn’t a jab—it’s a chance to level up. Yet, those lacking emotional smarts take it personally, firing back or shutting down.

And guess what? Growth hits a roadblock, and toxicity takes over.

I’ve been there. Hearing criticism stings, especially when it hits close to home. But leaning into feedback is transformative.  

3) Lack of empathy

Empathy’s the glue in relationships—it’s all about feeling what your partner feels. But when a guy’s running low on emotional intelligence, empathy’s often MIA.

He might miss the mark on understanding his partner’s viewpoint, show zilch interest in their world, or drop the ball on offering support when they’re down.

Here’s the deal: empathy isn’t the same as being a yes-man all the time. It’s about demonstrating that you understand and validate their feelings and emotions.

Learning to cultivate empathy can significantly enhance our relationships and overall emotional intelligence. 

4) Difficulty in expressing emotions

Back in my early twenties, I was a textbook example of emotional lockdown. Whenever feelings bubbled up, I’d quickly shut them down, burying them deep inside.

I remember one instance when a close friend confronted me about something that had hurt her.

Instead of listening and empathizing, I immediately went into defense mode, brushing off her feelings as oversensitivity. It wasn’t until later that I realized how my inability to express and validate her emotions had damaged our friendship.

That moment was a wake-up call. I realized that my tough-guy facade wasn’t doing me any favors. It was keeping me disconnected from the people I cared about most.

From that day forward, I made a conscious effort to embrace my emotions and to let myself be vulnerable with those I trusted.  

Bottom line? Humanity is wired for connections. But when we suppress these, we’re not tougher or cooler—we’re just disconnected and stuck.  

5) Unwillingness to apologize

Apologizing isn’t just about saying sorry—it’s a big deal in the emotional intelligence department. When a guy struggles to apologize, it’s a neon sign for low emotional maturity.

It’s tough, I know. Admitting we messed up isn’t exactly a walk in the park. But dodging apologies? It’s a recipe for ongoing conflict and zero personal growth.

I’m all about empowerment through accountability. It’s about owning our actions, even when it’s uncomfortable. Not to wallow in guilt, but to show respect for others and pave the way for growth.

In my video on embracing the feeling of being an “imposter,” I delve into the importance of self-awareness and acceptance of our flaws and vulnerabilities.

These are essential steps in developing emotional intelligence and fostering authentic connections.

By embracing our imperfections and taking responsibility for our actions, we pave the way for personal growth, deeper connections, and a more authentic life.

6) Neglect of self-care

Neglecting self-care isn’t a sign of maturity—it’s a red flag for low emotional intelligence.

Here’s the scoop: Emotional intelligence means tending to our own needs, too.

If a guy’s skipping self-care, it’s a telltale sign he’s missing the mark on self-awareness and self-compassion—cornerstones of emotional intelligence.

This neglect shows up in all sorts of ways—junk food binges, skipping workouts, overworking, or ignoring mental health.

And guess what? It messes with our emotional stability big time, making it tough to navigate relationships.

7) Constant need for control

Let’s talk about control. When a guy’s all about calling the shots in a relationship, it’s often a telltale sign of low emotional intelligence.

Control comes from fear—fear of change, vulnerability, or the unknown. And that fear breeds insecurity and stifles trust and respect.

Whether it’s subtle manipulation or outright dominance, the need for control squeezes the life out of a relationship, suffocating growth and individuality.

Here’s where I stand: Relationships thrive on mutual respect and cooperation, not power plays. Real emotional intelligence means letting go of control and embracing support, understanding, and growth.  

8) Inability to handle stress

 When a guy can’t handle it without falling apart, it’s a pretty clear sign his emotional intelligence could use a boost.

Stress? It’s part of the gig. But emotional intelligence means we’ve got the tools to tackle it head-on, instead of letting it call the shots.

When stress gets the best of us, it can lead to meltdowns, pulling away, or relying on unhealthy coping methods.

And trust me, that’s no recipe for relationship success.

My take? Life’s full of curveballs, and how we handle stress shapes who we are. It’s about facing it head-on and coming out stronger on the other side. That’s real emotional strength in action.

Smart hearts, strong bonds: Build EQ, build better relationships!

When we see these red flags in a man’s behavior—like neglecting self-care or struggling with stress—it’s a signal that his emotional intelligence might need a tune-up.

But here’s the thing: It’s not a dead end. Emotional smarts are skills we can develop with time, dedication, and a commitment to personal growth.

I invite you to subscribe to my YouTube channel here and join me in exploring topics around personal growth, authenticity, and living a life with greater purpose and freedom.

As you reflect on the concepts we’ve discussed, I leave you with this question: How can you cultivate more empathy in your relationships and enhance your emotional intelligence?