If a man displays these 9 behaviors, he’s compensating for a lack of success in life

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | January 5, 2025, 10:44 am

There’s a big difference between men who are truly successful and those who just pretend to be.

The difference lies in their behavior. Men who are compensating for a lack of success often exhibit certain behaviors to hide their insecurities.

Genuine success, on the other hand, shines through a man’s actions and doesn’t need any cover-ups.

Understanding these behaviors can help you differentiate between a truly successful man and one who’s merely hiding his insecurities.

Let’s delve into the nine behaviors that typically indicate a man is compensating for a lack of success in life.

1) Overcompensating with material possessions

Material possessions are often used as a measure of success. Fancy cars, designer clothes, and expensive watches are seen as symbols of wealth and achievement.

However, it’s important to remember that these material possessions don’t necessarily equate to genuine success.

Men who are truly successful understand that material possessions are just things and don’t define their worth or success. They are confident in their achievements and don’t feel the need to flaunt their wealth.

On the other hand, men who use material possessions to project an image of success often do so to compensate for their lack of real achievements. They hope that the fancy car or expensive watch will distract from their insecurities and make them appear more successful than they really are.

If a man is constantly flaunting his material possessions, it could be a sign that he’s compensating for a lack of success in life.

2) Constantly comparing himself to others

We all compare ourselves to others from time to time. It’s a human tendency. But there’s a difference between healthy comparison and obsessive comparison.

I’ll share a personal example. I have a friend, let’s call him John. John was always comparing himself to others. Whether it was the success of his colleagues, the financial status of his friends, or even the popularity of strangers on social media, John was constantly measuring his worth against others.

This constant comparison was not because John was genuinely interested in their lives or happy for their success. It was because he was insecure about his own lack of success.

John felt that if he could match up to or surpass the people around him, it would prove that he was successful. But this constant comparison only served to highlight his insecurities and made it clear that he was compensating for his own lack of success.

Remember, a truly successful man doesn’t need to compare himself to others.

He is confident in his own achievements and doesn’t feel the need to measure his worth against others.

3) He frequently brags about his achievements

Bragging is often a sign of insecurity. It’s a way for people to seek validation and reassurance from others about their worth or success.

Psychologists have found that people who constantly brag about their achievements often do so because they feel insecure.

They may feel that they are not good enough or that they haven’t achieved enough, and so they feel the need to constantly remind others (and themselves) of their accomplishments.

When a man constantly brags about his achievements, it’s often a sign that he’s compensating for a lack of success in life.

A truly successful man doesn’t feel the need to constantly talk about his achievements. He lets his actions speak for themselves.

4) He’s overly competitive

Healthy competition can be a great motivator. It can spur us on to improve and achieve our goals. But when competition becomes an obsession, it’s often a sign of deeper insecurities.

Men who are truly successful understand that life isn’t a race. They know that everyone moves at their own pace and that success isn’t a zero-sum game.

On the other hand, men who are overly competitive often do so because they feel the need to prove themselves. They see every aspect of life as a competition and feel the need to win at all costs.

If a man is always trying to outdo others and can’t handle losing, it could be a sign that he’s compensating for a lack of success in life.

5) He’s always making excuses

Making excuses is a common trait among those who lack success. Instead of owning up to their mistakes or shortcomings, they prefer to shift the blame onto others or external circumstances.

Truly successful men recognize their mistakes and learn from them. They understand that failure is an integral part of the journey to success and are not afraid to admit when they’ve messed up.

However, if a man is always making excuses and never takes responsibility for his actions, it could be a sign that he’s compensating for a lack of success in life.

This behavior often stems from insecurity and fear of being seen as a failure.

6) He lacks genuine self-confidence

Self-confidence is not about being the loudest in the room or the center of attention. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin and content with who you are.

I’ve seen men who are truly successful, and they exude a quiet confidence. They don’t need to boast or brag to make themselves heard. Their success speaks for them, and their self-assured demeanor is a testament to their achievements.

On the contrary, men lacking success often display a false sense of confidence. They try to cover their insecurities by acting overly confident or arrogant. But this facade often crumbles in challenging situations, revealing their true lack of success.

Genuine self-confidence comes from within and is often the result of hard work, perseverance, and personal growth.

If a man lacks this kind of confidence, it could be a sign that he’s compensating for a lack of success in life.

7) He’s not happy for others’ success

Success should be celebrated, not just our own, but also the success of those around us. One of the most rewarding feelings I’ve experienced is seeing someone I care about achieve their dreams and sharing in their joy.

However, not everyone feels this way. Some men find it hard to be happy for others’ success. They see it as a threat or a reminder of their own lack of success.

This inability to celebrate others’ achievements often stems from jealousy and insecurity. Instead of being inspired by others’ success, they feel threatened by it.

If a man is unable to genuinely celebrate the success of others, it could be a sign that he’s compensating for a lack of success in life.

A truly successful man understands that there’s room for everyone at the top, and he’s not threatened by the success of others.

8) He’s always seeking validation

Validation is something we all need to some extent. It’s comforting to know that our efforts are appreciated and our achievements are recognized. But there’s a difference between seeking occasional validation and relying on it for self-worth.

Men who are truly successful don’t need constant validation. They’re confident in their abilities and secure in their accomplishments. They don’t need others to affirm their worth.

However, if a man is always seeking validation, it could be a sign that he’s compensating for a lack of success in life.

This behavior often indicates low self-esteem and a lack of confidence in his own abilities.

His need for validation might stem from a fear of failure or a feeling of inadequacy.

9) He avoids challenges

Challenges are a part of life. They push us out of our comfort zones, help us grow, and lead us to success. A man who is truly successful is not afraid of challenges. Instead, he welcomes them, knowing that they are opportunities for growth and improvement.

However, if a man constantly avoids challenges, it could be a sign that he’s compensating for a lack of success in life. His avoidance may stem from fear of failure or rejection.

It’s through facing and overcoming challenges that we achieve real success.

Final thoughts: It’s about inner growth

The complex tapestry of human behavior is often a reflection of our inner world.

In this case, the behaviors that indicate a man is compensating for a lack of success in life are manifestations of his inner insecurities and fears.

At the heart of it all, it’s important to remember that success isn’t purely about material wealth or societal recognition. The most profound and lasting form of success comes from personal growth, self-improvement, and the ability to maintain a positive attitude even in the face of adversity.

As Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” It’s through overcoming challenges and learning from failures that we truly grow and become successful.

So if you or someone you know is displaying these behaviors, it’s not a sign of failure but an opportunity for growth. Let these behaviors be a reminder to focus on personal development and strive for genuine success – not as defined by society, but as defined by your own values and aspirations.

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