If a man displays these 9 behaviors, he’s an exhausting guy to be around

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | September 5, 2024, 3:48 pm

Let’s be honest, we all know that one guy who just drains the life out of us.

The reason might not be obvious at first, but it’s usually down to specific behaviors. These behaviors can turn even the most pleasant interaction into an exhausting ordeal.

Identifying these behaviors can help you understand why being around certain men can be so draining. And ladies, knowing the signs can save you from a whole lot of unnecessary stress.

So, let’s dive into the 9 behaviors that make a man exhausting to be around.

1) He’s always the victim

Everyone has their ups and downs, right? However, there’s a difference between experiencing a rough patch and perpetually playing the victim.

This is the guy who always seems to have things going against him, and he’s never shy about sharing his woes. It’s like he’s caught in a never-ending drama series where he’s the unfortunate hero.

You see, constantly being around someone who views himself as a perpetual victim can be utterly exhausting. It drains your energy as you’re always immersed in their negativity.

If a man continually plays the victim, he might just be too exhausting to be around.

2) He’s excessively competitive

We all love a good healthy competition, but when it crosses a certain line, it can get really tiring.

I once knew a guy who had to turn everything into a competition, and trust me, it was exhausting.

For instance, we would be playing a casual game of pool with friends, and rather than enjoying the game, he’d turn it into a full-blown championship. If he won, he’d gloat excessively. And if he lost? Well, let’s just say he didn’t take defeat well.

Even day-to-day conversations turned into contests of who had the better story or the more exciting weekend plans. It was as if every interaction was an opportunity for him to prove his superiority.

This excessive competitive nature made him incredibly draining to be around. A little competition is healthy, but when it becomes a constant battle, it’s just plain exhausting.

3) He never listens

In any form of communication, listening is just as important as speaking, if not more. However, there are men out there who love to monopolize conversations.

This is the guy who talks endlessly about himself and his achievements but rarely shows interest in what others have to say. He interrupts frequently and barely acknowledges the points made by others.

Ironically, good listeners are actually perceived as more attractive to other people. So, while he might think his relentless talking is impressing people, he’s likely having the opposite effect.

Being around someone who doesn’t listen can be incredibly exhausting. After all, meaningful conversations should be a two-way street.

4) He’s a chronic complainer

We all have moments where we need to vent, let off steam, or express our frustrations. That’s perfectly normal. But when a man’s default setting is to complain, it can be downright draining.

This is the guy who finds fault in everything. Nothing ever seems good enough for him. The weather’s too hot, the coffee’s too cold, the traffic’s too heavy – you name it, he has a complaint about it.

Endlessly being around such negativity can be exhausting. It sucks the joy out of experiences and makes even the simplest activities a chore. 

5) He’s unreliable

Reliability is a virtue. It’s a sign of trust, respect, and integrity. However, when a man is unreliable, it can be extremely exhausting.

This is the guy who often cancels plans at the last minute, forgets important dates, or fails to follow through on promises. You find yourself constantly adjusting your expectations or rearranging your plans because of his unpredictability.

Being around someone who’s unreliable can be a drain on your mental and emotional energy. It creates an environment of uncertainty and instability, which can be tiring to navigate.

If he’s consistently inconsistent, you might find him exhausting to deal with.

6) He lacks empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s about being sensitive to others’ emotions and needs. However, when a man lacks empathy, it can be incredibly exhausting.

This is the guy who seems oblivious to how his actions or words affect others. He might make hurtful jokes without realizing their impact or dismiss your feelings as irrelevant or trivial.

Being around someone who lacks empathy can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. It’s like being in a one-sided relationship where your feelings are constantly overlooked.

If he can’t connect with your emotions or show understanding, it can be utterly draining to be around him.

7) He’s a control freak

There’s nothing wrong with wanting things to be done in a certain way. But when it turns into an obsession, it can be truly exhausting.

I remember dating a guy who needed everything to be exactly how he wanted it. From deciding where we went on dates to dictating how I should dress, he needed to have control over every single detail.

This need for control was not only tiring but also suffocating. It felt like I was living in a box, unable to express myself or make my own decisions.

Being around a control freak can be incredibly draining.

8) He’s always negative

Positivity is contagious, and so is negativity. When a man constantly exudes negativity, it can be extremely exhausting.

This is the guy who always sees the glass as half empty. He focuses on the negatives in every situation and rarely acknowledges the positives. His conversations are often peppered with pessimism and cynicism.

Being around such continuous negativity can be emotionally draining. It can suck the joy out of life and make you feel down even when there’s no real reason to be. 

9) He lacks respect

Respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship. When a man lacks respect, whether it’s for you, for others, or for himself, it can be the most exhausting behavior of all.

This is the man who belittles others, disregards boundaries, or fails to acknowledge the worth of those around him. His actions and words often leave a trail of hurt feelings and damaged self-esteem.

Being around someone who lacks respect can be more than just tiring; it can be damaging. If a man doesn’t show respect, he’s not only exhausting to be around, he can also be harmful.

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