Ever been head over heels for a guy who seems perfect, but then you notice some things that make you go “hmm?”

One of those “hmm” moments might be realizing he’s emotionally unavailable.

You’re probably wondering, “How do I know if a guy is emotionally unavailable?” Well, it’s not rocket science. There are certain signs these guys often show that can give them away.

In this article, we’re going to talk about 11 things to look out for that might mean your guy is emotionally unavailable.

1. He’s a master at surface-level conversations

Have you noticed that your guy can chat for hours about sports, movies, or the weather, but when it comes to personal stuff, he clams up? This might not be a coincidence.

Guys who are emotionally unavailable often stick to surface-level topics. They tend to avoid deep conversations about feelings or past experiences.

It’s like they’ve built a wall around their emotions and they’re not letting anyone in.

So, if your man constantly steers clear of heart-to-heart talks, it could be a sign he’s emotionally unavailable.

Keep an eye out for this one!

2. He’s all about the chase, not the catch

Is your guy a thrill-seeker when it comes to love, always pursuing but never settling down?

It’s like he loves the chase, but once he’s caught you, he starts to pull away. It’s all fun and games until things get real and then he’s out the door.

They love the excitement of the pursuit, but when it comes to committing and showing real, deep emotions, they’re nowhere to be found.

If this sounds like your man, it might be time to have a little chat with him about commitment.

3. He’s hot and cold

This one really hits home for me. I once dated this guy who was a master of mixed signals.

One day, he was all over me, showering me with affection and attention. But the next day, he’d be distant and aloof, acting like I barely existed. It was like riding an emotional roller coaster, never knowing what mood he’d be in.

This hot and cold behavior is a classic sign of an emotionally unavailable man. It’s confusing and can make you feel insecure about the relationship.

They keep you guessing, sending you mixed signals, making it hard to know where you stand with them.

I’ll explain more in the next point.

4. He sends mixed signals

One minute he’s all over you, the next he barely acknowledges your presence. It’s like you’re always trying to decode his actions and figure out where you stand.

This emotional yo-yo is draining and leaves you feeling unsure and insecure.

Emotionally unavailable men often send mixed signals because they’re torn between wanting intimacy and running from it. It’s their way of keeping the relationship on their terms – a safe distance from their feelings.

Annoying, isn’t it?

5. He’s a lone wolf

You know the type – always doing his own thing, never really letting anyone in. The lone wolf.

This guy values his independence above all else and often keeps his own company. He might hang out with you, but when it comes to sharing his inner world, he’s as closed off as a secret diary.

An emotionally unavailable man often prefers to be alone because it allows him to avoid dealing with feelings and emotions, both his and others.

It’s a tough pill to swallow, but remember, you deserve someone who wants to share their life with you, not just their spare time.

6. He’s not big on future plans

Let me share a little story with you.

I dated this guy who was full of life and surprises. Every moment with him was an adventure.

Yet, a pattern emerged. Whenever I brought up any future-related topic, from our next holiday to bigger commitments, he seemed to shift uncomfortably.

Rather than diving into these discussions, he’d deflect with a joke or move to another topic entirely. It wasn’t just about big decisions like living together, even small things like plotting out a weekend trip became a touchy subject.

It’s worth noting that such behavior isn’t rare. Many men, especially those who are emotionally guarded, tend to skirt around future plans. Talking about what’s next often requires both practical and emotional thinking.

For those who aren’t ready to engage deeply, such talks can be intimidating. People who are emotionally detached often focus on the now, steering clear of topics that ask them to commit emotionally to what lies ahead.

7. He avoids emotional responsibility

Does it seem like every time you bring up emotions with your man, he either switches topics or becomes defensive?

This isn’t just a one-time thing but a common behavior in men who have trouble with emotions. They usually avoid or back away from emotional talks, finding it hard to connect deeply.

Why is this? Society has a role to play.

A study from the American Journal of Men’s Health found that many men find it hard to be emotionally open because of how society views masculinity. There’s a common belief that men should be tough and not show their emotions.

These pressures can make them steer clear of emotional discussions.

8. He’s not there when you need him most

This one might tug at your heartstrings because it’s something we all crave in a relationship – emotional support.

When you’re going through a tough time, whether it’s stress at work, a family crisis, or just a bad day, you naturally want your partner by your side. But an emotionally unavailable man may not be there when you need him the most.

Instead of lending a shoulder to cry on or offering words of comfort, he might dismiss your feelings or worse, disappear until the storm passes. This lack of emotional support can leave you feeling alone and uncared for.

Remember, everyone deserves a partner who is there for them in times of need.

9. He’s all about himself

Being in a relationship where the other person constantly places themselves at the center can be tiring and frustrating. Many of us have been with someone like that.

Imagine being with someone who always shares stories of his own triumphs, journeys, and goals. With him, conversations tend to spotlight his life, making it hard for you to voice your thoughts or feelings.

Instead of showing interest in your daily experiences, hopes, or concerns, he often brings the topic back to himself. It feels less like a mutual exchange and more like you’re just there to listen to his monologue.

They might be scared of getting too close or just lack the ability to truly empathize.

10. He’s always blaming others

I’ve got a confession to make. I once dated a guy who was always playing the blame game. Whenever something went wrong, it was never his fault. He’d blame his boss for a bad day at work, his friends for plans that fell through, or even me for things I had no control over.

Instead of facing his feelings and acknowledging his mistakes, an emotionally unavailable man will often point fingers at everyone else.

It’s a defense mechanism that helps him avoid dealing with his own emotions and shortcomings.

11. He has a past of unresolved relationships

Looking at someone’s past relationships can tell you a lot about their emotional state and readiness for a serious relationship. If the guy you’re seeing often talks about short relationships or messy breakups, he might be emotionally unavailable.

Simply put, relationships are built on shared moments and feelings. If most of his past relationships ended suddenly or with lots of drama, he might find it hard to handle emotional challenges. Instead of working things out, he might walk away from problems.

Also, pay attention to how he talks about his exes. If he always seems angry, indifferent, or too regretful, he probably hasn’t moved on from those experiences. This could mean he’s not ready to start a deep, new relationship yet.

One word: Run!

Understanding these signs is key to finding a meaningful relationship.

Everyone deserves a partner who gets and values their emotions. Don’t settle when it comes to emotional depth in a relationship.

You deserve more than just casual conversations; you deserve someone truly present for you.

This partner should be there for both daily routines and life’s challenges. Always aim for someone fully committed, emotionally open, and ready to blend their life journey with yours.