There’s a fine line between being a friend and pretending to be one.

This line is often blurred by subtle behaviors that are easy to overlook, but can reveal the true feelings of your so-called ‘friend’.

We all have moments when we question our friendships. Is it genuine affection or hidden disdain? Well, smart folks know that there are certain signs that can help you decipher the truth.

In this article, we will explore 9 subtle behaviors that might suggest your friend secretly dislikes you. Knowing these signs might save you from unnecessary heartache.

Brace yourself, truth can be hard to swallow.

1) They rarely initiate contact

Friendships are a two-way street, and that includes communication.

In a genuine friendship, both parties are eager to share their lives, their thoughts, and their feelings. They reach out to each other regularly because they genuinely enjoy each other’s company.

But when a friend secretly dislikes you, they may not feel the same urge to connect. You might find that you’re always the one calling, texting or setting up hangouts.

If they rarely initiate contact, it could be a red flag.

However, remember not to jump to conclusions. People can be busy, stressed or dealing with personal issues that limit their capacity to reach out.

But if this behavior is consistent and doesn’t change even after discussing it, it might suggest a deeper issue.

2) They’re dismissive of your feelings

In a genuine friendship, your feelings and opinions matter.

There was this one time when I was going through a tough phase at work. I confided in a friend whom I thought would understand. Instead, she brushed off my concerns saying, “You’re overreacting”, without even trying to understand my perspective.

That’s when it struck me. A real friend would have lent an ear, empathized, or at least tried to understand. But her dismissive attitude was a clear sign that she didn’t value my feelings or the friendship as much as I did.

It’s vital to remember that friends can have off days too. But if they consistently belittle or dismiss your feelings, it might be a hint that they secretly dislike you.

This subtle behavior can be a revealing sign of their true feelings towards you.

3) They’re always too busy for you

In the fast-paced world we live in, it’s common to get caught up with work, family and other commitments. However, when it comes to friendships, making time for each other is key.

If a friend is always “too busy” or their schedule is perpetually full when it comes to you, it could be more than just poor time management.

After all, people who value their relationships will make time for their friends, regardless of how busy they are.

So if your friend always seems to be unavailable, it might be a subtle sign that they secretly dislike you.

4) They gossip about you

Gossip is a common part of human interaction. However, when it’s about a friend, it crosses a line.

Sharing personal information, discussing your flaws, or even laughing at your expense behind your back is not what a real friend does. I

f you find out that your friend has been gossiping about you, it’s a clear indication that they lack respect for you and the friendship.

Trust and respect are the foundation of any strong friendship. If those are compromised, it’s worth reconsidering the relationship.

5) They’re quick to criticize

Constructive criticism is a part of any healthy friendship. But there’s a big difference between offering helpful feedback and constantly criticizing.

If you notice your friend is quick to point out your faults, or they never seem to have anything positive to say about you, it could be a subtle sign that they harbor negative feelings towards you.

Friends should lift each other up, not tear each other down. Excessive criticism isn’t just unkind – it can also be a sign that they secretly dislike you.

So keep an ear out for how your friend talks to and about you. Their words might be revealing their true feelings.

6) They don’t celebrate your successes

One of the greatest joys of friendship is sharing in each other’s triumphs. When you achieve something, your friends should be among the first to cheer you on and celebrate with you.

But if your friend seems indifferent, or even worse, resentful when good things happen for you, it’s a heartbreaking sign that they might not hold as much affection for you as you thought.

Genuine friendship isn’t a competition. A friend who secretly dislikes you might struggle to feel happy for your successes. Instead of sharing in your joy, they might downplay your achievements or avoid discussing them altogether.

Remember, a true friend celebrates your victories as if they were their own. 

7) They’re never there when you need them

Life has a way of throwing curveballs at us, and during those times, we often lean on our friends for support.

I still recall a difficult period in my life when I was dealing with a family crisis. I reached out to a close friend for support, but they were always too busy, too tired, or simply not available. It was during one of my lowest moments that I realized they were not really there for me.

It’s in these times of need that true friendships are put to the test. If a friend consistently fails to be there for you when you need them, it could be a sign that they don’t value the friendship as much as you do.

A friend who’s never there for you in tough times might secretly dislike you. It’s a harsh reality to face, but recognizing it can save you from further disappointment down the line.

8) They don’t include you in their plans

Being excluded from a friend’s plans can sting. If you’re always the last to know about get-togethers or if you notice they’re hanging out without inviting you, it can feel like a direct hit to the heart.

It’s natural for friends to have separate circles and activities, but if it becomes a pattern where you’re consistently left out, it might indicate that they don’t enjoy your company as much as they let on.

Inclusiveness is an essential part of friendship. If your friend intentionally leaves you out on multiple occasions, it could be a subtle behavior revealing their secret dislike for you.

9) They’re indifferent to your presence

At the core of every friendship is a shared connection, a bond that makes you feel seen, heard, and appreciated. When you’re with a friend, there should be a sense of comfort and belonging.

But if your friend seems indifferent to your presence, barely acknowledging you in group settings or not engaging with you, it can be deeply hurtful.

This kind of indifference can be more damaging than outright hostility.

If you feel invisible around your friend, it’s a strong signal that they may not value your relationship. Indifference is often a telltale sign of hidden dislike.

Remember, everyone deserves to be in friendships where they feel valued and loved. If this isn’t the case for you, it might be time to reconsider where this friendship stands in your life.